Sacrifice
by CrazyIsTheClue
Summary: Just as Merlin and Arthur thought they could be happy an old enemy of Camelot threatens to end their destiny. When secrets are revealed, promises broken and Merlin has to make the ultimate sacrifice to save the kingdom, will they get their happy ending?
1. The Best I've Ever Had

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Merlin, BBC does and we all love them for sharing it :D

**Story Notes:** So…I don't really know where this came from…the idea for this just kind of jumped on me and refused to be put away…so here it is…

The chapter titles are always titles of songs which I used as inspiration for the chapter… :D

This is a Merlin/Arthur story, meaning it contains male on male love. If you don't like it, don't say I didn't warn you in advance…as for the content the characters are possibly a little OOC but I tried to keep them as close to usual as I could :D

So I'll stop rambling on now…

ENJOY ;D

**Chapter I: Best I've Ever Had**

**Chapter Notes: xxXxxXxxXxx=divider ****Rated T for good measure :D**

Arthur woke from the feeling of his lover shifting against him. He could tell that it was morning by thy muffled noises of the castle life that slowly stirred. He felt the warmth of Merlin's body and sighed in contentment, pulling him a little closer, gently nuzzling the back of the younger men's neck. He had never felt so completely happy before.

He felt Merlin shift again and opened his eyes to find intent blue eyes fixed at him with a hint of amusement.

"Mornin' " he yawned and Merlin gave him his patented goofy grin.

"Good morning sleeping beauty, I figured you'd never wake up." Merlin mocked him, an affectionate tone in his voice.

Arthur grumbled lowly in return and while Merlin got up to open the curtains he pulled his pillow over his face.

"Arthur, don't be such an infant. You have to get up. I'm gonna get your breakfast. You'd better be up when I come back when I return or…"

"Or...what?" Arthur teased when Merlin was almost out of the door. The only answer he got was a low chuckle before he heard the door close.

Arthur pulled the pillow off his face and instantly groaned at the brightness of the sun. He was tempted to simply close the curtains again and simply continue sleeping, but he knew Merlin would be back soon so he hesitantly crawled out of the warm bed.

Just a few minutes later Merlin was back bringing not only a tray of food, but also a brightness and warmth to the room that Arthur always felt in his presence. When Merlin settled the food on the table and rushed to gather some clothes for Arthur to wear, said walked up to hug him tightly from behind.

"You don't need to do this, I can have another servant tend to it. I don't want you to…"

Arthur broke off, being at a loss for words, but Merlin understood perfectly, leaning into his touch a little more.

"Arthur, about that. I have…I would like to…Can't I just stay your manservant?"

Arthur turned him around and he saw something in the other man's eyes that he didn't understand and it made his stomach sink.

"Why?" he simply answered, carefully assessing Merlin's facial expression.

"Because I really liked the way things were and I don't want them to change. All bad aspects aside being your manservant has been a great pleasure to me and I would not willingly want to give this up to someone else…I really don't even want to think about anyone else always being by your side no matter where you go while I am off god-knows-where running errands for Gaius…I just don't. But I understand if you wish for another servant…" he finished, averting his eyes.

"Merlin" Arthur started, voice filled with so much emotion that Merlin searched his eyes "Never think that I want someone other than you by my side. I just don't want you to feel like you have to do anything you don't really want because you feel like you are obligated to do it as my manservant. You are the most important person in my life and all I want is for you to be happy, wishing that I can be the person to make you happy above all others."

Merlin snorted, which had a frown appearing on Arthur's face.

"What?"

"Arthur, I have been your manservant for the better part of almost 3 years now. When did me feeling obligated to do something ever force me to do something I didn't want to do or my obligation stopped me from doing and saying as I thought it was right?"

Arthur just grinned at that pulling the raven-haired boy into a tight embrace. Merlin smiled, putting his arms around Arthur in return, gently caressing his back, while Arthur was running his hands up and down Merlin's spine.

They stayed like that for a while, perfectly content with just holding each other. After what seemed way to short a time Merlin pulled away.

"You! Eat! Now!"

He instructed the fair headed prince with a teasing smile on his face while he moved towards the door.

"Wait, where are you going? Shouldn't my manservant help me dress?" Arthur replied mockingly, yet curious.

"Well your royal pratness will have to dress himself today, I have got to get back to Gaius' chambers and run some errands for him and you have some kind of very important meeting with your father and some other royals which will most likely take all day and to which no servants are invited. So…bye…"

He waved, almost darting off, had it not been for Arthur to grab his arm and swing him around, pressing him up against the wooden door. Merlin blushed slightly as the sensation of having the entire length of Arthur's firm body pressed up against his started to show it's effect on him.

"Is that supposed to mean that I won't get to see you the entire day?" Arthur pouted, forehead pressed against Merlin's.

"Afraid so." Merlin answered regretfully.

Arthur groaned at that

"Will you at least be here tonight?"

"I wish I could, but people are going to get suspicious when I spent too much time in here."

"Ugh, never mind the people"

"Arthur, people tend to talk…a lot"

"So let them talk I don't care what anyone thinks." Arthur knew he was behaving childishly, but he didn't care. He was frustrated that Merlin was all reasonable about them not seeing each other until tomorrow and the younger boy sensed that.

"Arthur you know I want nothing more than to spend all my time with you. But we just can't do that. You will be king one day, you have a reputation to uphold. Plus…" he continued quickly as Arthur was once again opening his mouth to argue "your father would have my head if he found out about us."

Arthur closed his mouth, allowing an annoyed huff to escape from him. Merlin was right of course. But he still didn't like it.

"I'll be here first thing tomorrow, I promise" Merlin said pressing a soft kiss on the prince's lips before he wanted to free himself.

But Arthur kept him pinned down, looking into his eyes with a serious expression.

"Please be careful. You are the best I've ever had and I love you more than I ever thought possible I don't want to lose you over some stupid herbs" 'Or to someone who you can be yourself with without worrying about people talking' he added silently, biting his lower lip.

Merlin gently cupped his face.

"Don't worry" he said and when he looked into the deep blue eyes Arthur felt as if Merlin was answering to his mental fear rather than the spoken one "This is never going to happen. I love you Arthur Pendragon and I will always come back to you."

The sincerity in Merlin's eyes took Arthur by surprise, but the intense show of emotions from the other boy comforted him more than he would admit. He leaned in to kiss Merlin who eagerly met his lips with his own. Then Merlin drew away, flashing him a last affectionate smile before he disappeared, leaving Arthur to prepare by himself.

xxXxxXxxXxx

An entire day without Merlin spent locked inside a room with his father and some other royals? He looked over to his sword and considered sourly to throw himself at it, but when he walked towards the window, seeing his lover walking over the courtyard throwing knowing smile into his direction he just sighed and got ready for the task that lay ahead of him.

Merlin was content with walking through the forest looking for the herbs which Gaius needed. He enjoyed the warm bright sun and the fresh air laced with the smell of fresh earth and trees. A deer crossed his path and the birds were chirping happily. It was a very beautiful and peaceful day and Merlin couldn't help but smile as his thoughts returned to the last night and the morning in Arthur's chamber. After all the waiting all the pain and hurt feelings he finally had all he ever wished for.

He was so caught up in thoughts about his emerald eyed prince, smile never fading, that he didn't notice how the birds suddenly went silent as he bowed down on a meadow to pick some herbs.

That was the reason why he nearly had a heart attack when he turned around finding Kilgarrah staring at him with a haunted expression.

He was about to complain to the giant dragon about sneaking up on people without a warning and giving people heart attacks when he was forcefully interrupted by the dragon's deep and urgent voice.

"You must listen young warlock. Great danger is heading towards Camelot. A powerful old opponent of Uther is gathering reinforcements to attack and if you don't find a way to stop them the young Pendragon will never see his great destiny."

Chapter End Notes: So that's as far as the first chapter goes...I hope you liked it...this is the first Merlin story that I wrote so I'm a little bit insecure about it :D

Your opinions are appreciated, praise and constructive criticism alike :D

Thank you for reading this...

I will be posting the next chapter soon depending on the feedback ;D


	2. I Will Be

**Chapter Notes**_**: **__**/telepathy/ 'thinking' xxXxxXxxXxx=divider **_

_**I want to thank you all for your amazing reviews they really made my day :D**_

_**Also special thanks to wackyducky who has been supportive and encouraged me to actually post this instead of only writing it for myself ;D**_

_**So here is the second chapter. It is almost twice as long as the first one...I hope you enjoy reading it :D**_

"Wai…What?" Merlin blurted out, flabbergasted.

The great dragon looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Camelot is in grave danger. An old enemy of Uther has returned to destroy the kingdom and wipe out the Pendragon family."

"What? Who?"

"An all powerful sorcerer with the powers of a dragonlord and a very old and mighty dragon by his side. Despite their despise for each other their hatred for Uther united them in a common cause."

"But I thought…Didn't you say we were the last…?"

"As it turns out I was mistaken. Just as Uther was when he declared the dragons and dragonlords for extinct. After you dismissed me I went away in search for others of my kind. I found other dragons but none of the ancient race that I come from. When I had already given up hope I came across Xigarrah. He was an outcast back in the days when there were still plenty of us. He entertained the opinion that we should wipe the humans, especially the Pendragon family who he despised greatly. He was the main reason why Uther started to hate us so much, more than any other magical being. However when Uther started to turn the sorcerers against us he fled. I haven't hurt from him ever since. Until a few weeks ago."

"What? Why are you telling me this?"

The dragon looked at him quizzically and Merlin cleared his throat fidgeting nervously.

"Well, I would have guessed you would team up with them. You are not that big a fan of Uther after all. And a powerful sorcerer and a dragon on a quest for revenge seem to be exactly what you need."

"You are not wrong. I was tempted to join them, but even if it weren't for my obligation to you…"

He trailed of, now it was Merlin's turn to look confused.

"Then what?"

"They are unnecessarily cruel and they will destroy Albion before it even existed. I cannot let that happen."

Merlin considered that for a moment before he looked back up into the beast's eyes:"Can you take me to them?"

Kilgarrah nodded curtly.

"Yes...I can and I will. But I am supposed to gather information."

"What? Are you working for them I...but why did...?"

"Allow me to explain. At first I was not averse to aiding them in their plan to wipe Uther from the face of the earth along with his kingdom and all his followers..."

"Wait what? Why would you..."

"Young warlock. If you would stop interrupting me I would be capable to explain."

Merlin blushed as the dragon scolded him lightly. The giant beast let out a snickering sound at that and continued.

"But soon later I was witness to the cruelty with which the sorcerer and Xigarrah treated their followers and enemies alike. I remembered the kindness with which you and the young prince act towards others and I knew that this was not right. So I decided to seek you out. But if I would come to you directly that would force them to do something against you. You are the only one who can stop them."

Merlin stared at the giant dragon nonplussed for a while.

"Ok so...what do I do?"

"I am going to stay around here until tomorrow. Then we can take off and I will bring you to the others so you can observe them before I bring you back. Just return to Camelot and make sure that nobody suspects anything."

Merlin just nodded and made his way back to Camelot.

"Young warlock!" the dragon yelled after him "Make sure that the young Pendragon does not follow you. It would be his death."

"Ok!"

Merlin yelled dashing back towards Camelot in a rush. He nearly ran over Gaius when he busted into his chambers, throwing the collected herbs on a table running past the old man leaving him with a dumbfounded expression.

Merlin quickly threw his magic book, a bunch of clothes and some other items into his bag. When he was done he raced out of his room darting past Gaius who threw him a questioning look from the doorframe. But Gaius just grabbed his arm.

"What is going on with you?"

"Gaius you have to trust me to do the right thing here ok? I have to go see Arthur. I'll explain everything when the time is right ok."

And with that he rushed out off the room towards the prince's chambers. He was in an emotional turmoil and he knew it was probably a crappy idea to go see Arthur in his state but he just needed to hear his voice or even just feel the look of the emerald eyes on him. He felt as if he was slowly losing ground and he knew that Arthur wouldn't let him fall.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur walked into his room just dropping onto his bed face forward. It had been a really long day. All the talking about taxes and servants and the newest court gossip. It had gone so far that, as one of the royals had mentioned stories about sightings of a dragon somewhere at the border of his faraway kingdom, Arthur had proposed to see to killing it himself immediately. It had only gotten him an angry look from his father and he had spent all day fighting to focus on the boring topics ahead instead of letting his thoughts wander to Merlin.

Now he was in his room lying on his bed thinking of the raven haired boy yet again. He had the sudden urge to see him so he got up and went to the door. Just as he opened it Merlin was standing in front of it. Arthur smiled at first but when he saw the torn expression in his lover's face he was shocked.

"Merlin...?"

The younger man just threw his arms around him and pulled him close. Arthur pulled him back into his room and closed the door behind them holding on tightly to Merlin. They just stood like that before Merlin pushed a worried Arthur back a little, now a happy smile on his face.

'I will never understand how his presence manages to soothe all my negative emotions' he thought as he looked at the green eyed prince.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked hesitantly "What is wrong?"

"Wrong? Why should something be wrong? You really shouldn't jump to conclusions like that it's not healthy."

Arthur huffed at that.

"If you would have looked into your miserable face when you came in here you would be worried, too. You looked like your dog just died or something."

"Ah well. I just feared that you had been so bored during the meeting that you threw yourself onto your sword or out of the window."

"Yeah right sure you did. How about you fetch some dinner for us?"

Merlin just looked at him eying him with a devious grin that had had Arthur reaching for a jar to throw at him, but when the thing hit the door Merlin was already on his way, Arthur could hear his laughter through the entire hallway.

'That's better' the young prince thought. 'He almost gave me a heart attack back there. Not that I'd ever admit that out loud' he grinned to himself.

Merlin returned and they ate their dinner together in Arthur's room. When they were finished they knew that they had to go to sleep now. Arthur remembered how Merlin had told him he couldn't stay tonight but Arthur could tell that he didn't want to leave.

"Umm Merlin, do you want to stay with me tonight? We don't have to do anything exciting, just stay for company?"

Merlin smiled at him and Arthur felt relieved. He could tell that the younger boy was still insecure about the physical aspect of their relationship and he also assumed that Merlin was till al little sore from their last time. Just thinking of it made him go hard but he willed the blood back into his body. He could somehow feel that Merlin needed comfort and he was more than willing to provide it.

After they had both finished their ablutions, Arthur with Merlin's help just as usual accompanied by easy banter on how Arthur couldn't do anything alone and Merlin couldn't do anything right they went to lie in the big comfortable bed.

Arthur settled on his back, pulling Merlin into his arms, so said was loosely draped over him.

Merlin was utterly calm now considering what Kilgarrah had told him. But now that he was with Arthur, hearing the steady strong heartbeat and feeling the warmth of Arthur's body seep into his he just felt happy and soon the uncertainty vanished in favour of comfortable sleepiness and he gave in to it easily.

Arthur just looked at his lover with a smile on his face. This was different from anything he had ever had. Merlin was the person closest to him in all aspects of life now. Seeing how Merlin trusted him completely made him happy. And now that they were together he felt more safe than ever before. He knew he could always count on Merlin to be there when he needed him. With that in mind and a happy smile on his face Arthur submitted to sleep as well.

xxXxxXxxXxx

/Merlin. Merlin. Merlin!/

Merlin nearly fell out of the bed as he was kicked into consciousness by the dragon's voice. He looked at Arthur and saw that he was still asleep and he smiled.

/Merlin!/

He groaned. The dragon was persistent. He got up, carefully avoiding to disturb the peacefully sleeping prince.

/What is it Kilgarrah?/

/There you are young warlock. We need to leave, now!/

/What? So soon? Why?/

/Do you want to stop them or do you not?/

/Alright, I got my stuff all packed up and ready. I'm on my way./

He quickly got dressed. Then he just stood there for a second looking down at the young prince. He took off his neckerchief and put it down next to Arthur's head. He gently placed a kiss on the blonde's head.

"I'll be coming back to you Arthur. Don't ever doubt that I love you."

xxXxxXxxXxx

He went to Gaius' chambers, the older man was already awake. Merlin got his stuff and said his goodbye to the old physician. Telling him not to tell Arthur where he went he ran off to meet Kilgarrah.

He ran past Gwen without even acknowledging her and ran to the clearing where Kilgarrah had already waited impatiently for him.

"There you are."

Merlin nearly fell over as he hurried to climb on the dragon's back.

"Hold on tight young warlock. We have a long flight ahead of us."

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur was having a very crappy week. Since the morning 4 days ago when he woke up with Merlin gone and hadn't been able to find him or coax it out of Gaius where he had gone the young prince felt like he was going crazy. The last person that had seen him was Gwen who had seen him rushing out of the castle. After that nothing. No sign of his friend manservant and lover. He really did not know what to think of this. He only knew that he missed him terribly in spite of him being gone for less than a week by now. And he was already worried sick.

Every time he looked into blue eyes and every time he saw a person with raven black hair somewhere every single time someone tripped over falling face frontal into the mud he darted forward thinking it would be Merlin. But it never was. Every time someone called his name he turned around or hoping for it to be his manservant. But it never was.

Everywhere he looked he saw Merlin's face, heard his laughter. Even when he closed his eyes all he saw were the dashing blue eyes and the beautiful goofy grin of his lover. He was very aware that he was slowly loosing it. He didn't sleep he barely touched his food. His father had instructed Gaius to prescribe him a potion and his knights were starting to worry.

He tried to put on a tough show, but it didn't really work. He was still fulfilling his duties, trying to act all normal but nobody really believed him. He had to do something. If Merlin wasn't back soon he would go on a "hunting trip" and search for him.

After another long hard day he went to bed. He pulled out the neckerchief from beyond his pillow it was the only thing left of Merlin. He clutched it tightly into his hands as he drifted off into another unrestful sleep.

'Merlin…where are? Why did you leave me? Why?'

xxXxxXxxXxx

While Arthur was busy worrying sick Merlin was on his way back to Camelot. Kilgarrah had led him to the hideout of the others and what he had seen had shaken him to the bone. Xigarrah, was bigger than Kilgarrah and obviously older. The sorcerer that was with him had assembled a small army to attack Camelot together.

When they landed of the meadow near the castle it was in the middle of the night. After all they had seen they had made their journey back in complete silence. Now Merlin raised his voice.

"We have to stop them Kilgarrah. If they arrive in Camelot all the people there are lost."

"We cannot."

"What does that mean? You are a dragon are you not? You always tell me how strong I am. We have to try. I mean why did you show me, tell me if you don't want to do something. If you don't join me I will…"

The dragon snorted and interrupted him

"Young warlock, I did not say that I will not aid you. I just said that WE cannot stop them. It is merely a fact, nothing else."

"Wha…What?"

"There are more of them than there are of us. While the knights of Camelot might be able to fend off the army, the sorcerer which leads them is very versed in the old religion and while maybe not more powerful than you, way more practiced and ruthless. There is also the fact Xigarrah is older and more powerful than me. But that's not all" he continued cutting Merlin off before he could start to argue.

"They have a magical weapon which can only be stopped by its counterpart. The weapon is extremely powerful and extremely dangerous. It is called the staff off mercilessness. If the user is not capable of handling its full power it is sure to kill him. The fact that Athelear can use it is a bad sign for us."

"Wait wait wait…come again? Weapon and counterpart? We have to find the thing. Now! Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because it is not that simple."

"Ugh…yeah figures it never is now is it?"

They were both quiet for a short while before the dragon continued to speak.

"You will have to go back to Camelot and gather a few things before you go to get the weapons counterpart. It would also be wise to gather reinforcements. People you can trust that will accompany on this quest. But be aware, there is a likelihood that not all of you will return. It is a dangerous quest."

Merlin looked up at the dragon. I cannot ask any of my friends to take that risk."

"I knew you would not. This is why I took care of that"

"You what?"

Merlin turned around staring into the shadows of the trees where the dragon was staring at. Slowly a person exited the darkness.

"Gwaine…" Merlin whispered.

"Well…So you have magic. I should have known that from the day I met you. I knew there was something special about you. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Gwaine I…"

The older man waved him off

"Nevermind that now we have a kingdom to save."

Kilgarrah looked down at them, eyes deep with an unidentifiable emotion. 'Such a great task for ones so small'

Merlin looked at his friends "I cannot ask you to do this. I could never risk your life like that. I just can't"

"Well, then it is a good thing you don't have to. I'm coming with you. Like it or not."

Merlin smiled at Gwaine. He had known that Gwaine wouldn't let him go alone. That just wasn't him.

"Thank you."

"Ok Kilgarrah what do we need to get from Camelot?"

"In the library is an ancient map of the forgotten lands behind the nebulous marches. In the vault you will find a silver necklace with a white diamond in the middle surrounded by an emerald, a ruby, a sapphire, an amethyst and an onyx in form of a star. It is the key to the chamber where the weapon is hidden. It is a magical utensil with secret powers that no one knows about. It should help you on your quest if you carry it. There is also a magical sword, forged by the druids before king Uther started his reign of terror. You should take it Gwaine but use it with caution. And there is a dagger hidden somewhere deep inside. It also has been forged by magic. Bring it as well."

"What? Why are we supposed to get all that?"

"Because there is a young acquaintance of you waiting at the border of Uther's kingdom. He has horses and clothing for you. You only make sure to get there. Meet him two days from now. And take this."

Out of thin air he conjured up three amulets.

"They will guard you and guide you to each other when you get lost. Proceed with great caution."

He spread his wings and wanted to fly off as Merlin called up to him.

"Wait, where are you going?"

/I will be with Xigarrah. I will keep an eye on them and inform you when they make their move. They are not yet ready but they soon will be. Make haste young warlock because if you are not back in time everything is lost. When you find the counterpart of the staff of mercilessness, the staff of compassion, and use it against the other it will destroy the weapons and the threat for Camelot but this comes at a high price... The final blow will kill both you and Athelear...the ultimate sacrifice you have to make in order to protect the young prince and his destiny... And Merlin, you will have to make sure that the young Pendragon stays out of this. It is too dangerous./

With that he flew off leaving Merlin and Gwaine standing on the bright clearing. Gwaine turned to look at Merlin just as Merlin muttered.

"Arthur…Oh crap!"

**Chapter End Notes: **_**Thank you for reading this **_

_**I hope you liked it ;D**_

_**Please review and tell me whether it was good or crap :D**_

_**The next chapter will be up soon!**_


	3. The Hardest Thing

**Chapter Notes: xxXxxXxxXxx=divider 'thinking'**

**So here's to the 3****rd**** chapter...;D**

**I want to thank all those who took their time to write a review you really made me happy ;D**

**Ok enough with the rambling and on with the story :D**

When Arthur woke up he was disorientated for a moment before he figured that he was in his room. Alone. Once again. Another day without Merlin. This couldn't go on. He had to find him.

He got up and got dressed just to rush down to Gaius' chambers. He was standing in front of the doors and could hear Gaius laughing. 'What in the name of...?' Arthur was confused. The old physician had been very quiet and serious since his young ward had disappeared. This was very unusual behaviour.

He kicked the door open and burst in furiously just to stop dead. In front of him was Merlin sitting on the table leaning on Gwaine while Gaius was sitting on a chair in front of them. They were eating breakfast and seemed rather cheery.

Their amused banter stopped now that they all turned to face Arthur. Gaius was the first to break the silence.

"Sire? Do you require my assistance with something?"

Arthur couldn't answer. His whole body went numb and his heart felt cold while he took in the scene in front of him.

Merlin was sitting on the table, Gwaine was sitting behind him. Gwaine was leaned against a pillar and Merlin against Gwaine's chest sitting between the other mans legs. It was a peaceful picture but it nearly sent Arthur over the edge.

He found Merlin's blazing blue eyes staring at him in shock. Neither of them moved for a few very long seconds before Merlin decided to take action.

He jumped up nearly toppling over in his rush. Arthur wanted to catch him but Gwaine's firm grip steadied the raven haired-boy before he could fall down. Merlin shot a grateful smile at Gwaine and said grinned back.

Arthur couldn't take it anymore. He darted out of the room. He didn't know where he was going he only knew that he wanted to get away.

This was why he couldn't see that Merlin broke down after he left having Gwaine pull him into a comforting hug while Gaius talked to him in a soothing voice. Merlin gathered his composure rather quickly but his pain was still evident. All the light had vanished from his eyes leaving only cold determination.

He knew that he would have to give his life for Arthur's and he would gladly do so. But he knew that it would destroy the fair-headed prince. He had to make him believe all the trust, friendship and love between them had just been a mistake. Only if he'd believe that Arthur would be able to lead a happy life after Merlin had died. Or so he believed at the time.

"Do you really think this is the only way? Maybe you could just tell him the truth about everything. Make him understand. And…Maybe the dragon was wrong."

"Thank you Gwaine, but it is the only way. Arthur will have to move on after I'm gone. A clean cut is the best thing I can do for him. My feelings don't matter. And I cannot tell him the truth 'cause he'd refuse to let me go. And that would mean the end of everything that's good and beautiful in Camelot. And I can't let that happen. It is the only way. I will go and look for him."

xxXxxXxxXxx

With that he walked out of the room leaving Gwaine and Gaius behind alone. They looked at each other and they could see that both their hearts were breaking at the weight of the burden that their young friend had to carry.

"Well I better go see that I get you that map you need. Do you think you will be able to get the other things you will need?"

"Yes Gaius don't worry. I've got it covered."

Gwaine was nearly out of the door when Gaius called after him

"Gwaine wait."

"What is it Gaius? Is there a problem?"

"Listen," the old physician said face serious "I know you care a lot about Merlin. So do I. I have the feeling that he is about to make a big mistake. Please promise me that you will look out for him."

Gwaine fidgeted nervously. After all he knew about the fate that Merlin would meet according to the great dragon. He had been trying to find a way around Merlin having to die ever since he found out but he had not been able to come up with an acceptable solution for that problem.

He looked into the eyes of the other man and he could see the pleading in them. He put on a reassuring smile.

"Gaius, I promise that I will do anything in my power to keep Merlin safe and bring him back to you in one piece."

The tension that lifted from the other man was almost tangible.

"Thank you" he said. "And look out for his heart. I think he will need a friend after he leaves Arthur."

Gwaine just nodded looking at the other man suspiciously. 'How much does he actually know?' he asked himself quietly, seeing the knowing smile in Gaius' face.

He just walked out of the room after that. He had some items to obtain.

xxXxxXxxXxx

"Arthur? Come on I know you're out there somewhere. Arthur!"

Merlin walked around in the forest. He knew that this was the place Arthur had most likely run off to and he had to find him. Soon. They were running out of time and with every wasted second would bring Camelot closer to doom.

He knew he would have to be convincing to keep Arthur from following him into certain death. He had to make him believe he didn't care anymore. Maybe never really had. The actually innocent scene with Gwaine that Arthur had witnessed and the misinterpretation that Arthur drew from it would be the foundation for the most painful yet also most important lie he would have to tell in his life. It would be the hardest thing he ever did, just standing there telling Arthur he didn't love him. But he had to.

While he was convincing the crown prince to let go of their love, Gwaine and Gaius were gathering the necessary items. They would head out tonight. Gaius had argued at first but he had accepted that it was the only way. Merlin knew how much that hurt the old man who was more of a father to him than his real father ever was.

But the young warlock just felt as if he was empty inside. He had told Gwaine what the dragon had told him about the weapons. No one else knew. And he would keep it that way. His life didn't mean much to him if he couldn't spend it by Arthur's side and he would gladly make this sacrifice to keep all the people he loved safe.

While he walked towards the sea where he had put Freya down, the woman he had once thought he was in love with, he had killed her to keep Arthur from harm, he thought about all that had happened since he had arrived in Camelot and he came to the conclusion that he wouldn't change a thing, even now that he knew that it would cost him his life before it had even really started.

He smiled weakly. He had found a father in Gaius great friends in Morgana, Gwen, Lancelot and even more so in Gwaine. He had been widely accepted and respected amongst servants, townspeople and knights alike. Accepted and appreciated for his kindness and adjuvant demeanour. There was no one he hadn't helped at least once. He had been open and friendly towards all of the people and they had returned his sentiment. For the first time in his life he had really felt like he belonged somewhere.

By Arthurs side. He had found love and against all odds his love had been returned. Arthur was the part of all that made him whole. Nevermind the feeling of being used, the hurt emotions the fights. The time with Arthur had been the best time of his life and for this he would always be entirely grateful. And if he had to give his life to safe Arthurs he didn't mind.

He saw the prince sitting on a log staring into the lake. He gathered all of his composure and closed in on him. He knew that would be the hardest thing he'd ever have to do. He would have to lie to Arthur and make him believe that their love hadn't meant anything to him. He would have to turn around and walk away pretending he didn't care anymore.

He laid his hand on the shoulder of the blonde prince and found emerald eyes looking at him. Filled with pain and a hope that nearly tore his emotionless mask apart, but he knew he had to be strong to keep Arthur safe.

"Arthur, we need to talk"

The prince's shoulders slumped forward and he looked so utterly defeated, turning his gaze to the floor. Merlin swallowed hard, but Arthur spoke first.

Almost inaudibly he voiced the question that had been burning a hole into his heart

"Why Merlin? What did I do wrong? Please…give me the chance to…"

"No." Merlin cut in, voice cold and eyes emotionless although inside he felt as if every word was ripping out another piece of his soul.

"No. Don't give me that. Don't act as if you cared. You didn't even come looking for me. And I thought you could love me. How wrong I was. I should have known better should I not? You only love your title."

Arthur visibly flinched at that wanting to cut in but Merlin continued mercilessly.

"Prince prat at his best. But I was wrong too. I never loved you. It all became clear to me when I met Gwaine. He is not ashamed of me. With him I don't have to be afraid to be who I am. He accepts all of me without question. I really should have known that all that stupid infatuation was just a substitute for my feelings for Gwaine. I mean he defied Camelot law to come and claim me. And it felt so good."

Arthur looked as if he was about to pass out and Merlin had to use all of the willpower he had not to put his arms around the shaking prince and hold him tight telling him he never wanted to lose him.

"Merlin…" Arthur started, stopping as tears started to fall from his eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous. You know that I was nothing more than a toy. You would have been bored soon anyways. Were both better off like that. Gwaine and I are leaving tonight, you will never have to deal with us again."

The cruel words hurt Merlin just as much as they hurt Arthur, maybe even more. But he went through with it, knowing that he had to make Arthur despise him so he could forget more easily. But it didn't really have the desired effect. Instead of yelling at him or calling him names Arthur was visibly faltering with every further word. Merlin had to fight back the tears that stung in his eyes.

"Where will you go?" Arthur asked his breathing coming in painful gasps as he tried to fight back the hysteria.

"Wherever we want to. I'm free now. I no longer have to crawl in the dirt in front of you. I have never felt so good in my entire life. I finally found the place where I belong. I belong to Gwaine's side. And you, you can go back to being the hopeless prat that you were before we met and you can start torturing another servant and screwing girls until you find the right one to introduce to your father."

Merlin turned around to go but he found himself caught in a tight embrace feeling Arthur's hot tears on his tunic. The prince was begging him to take it all back but Merlin just stood there. Immobile.

"Merlin please don't do this. I love you. You have to believe me. I will do everything you want me to. I know you love me too I just know it you…"

"Stop being a stupid self centred idiot and grow up Arthur. I am not going to be your plaything. You're just upset because you hate it when someone else touches your things. Well guess what I am not yours. Never have been never will be. Just accept it and be a man about it. Camelot really deserves a better crown prince than that. You know your destiny. One day you will be king. Now start behaving accordingly."

With that he pushed him back and stalked off into the shadow off the forest. Arthur stayed behind, too weak to move, his knees gave in and he just fell on the floor crying. He didn't feel the cold hard ground or the sun that was shining at him. He only felt the emptiness inside of him where Merlin had been just a moment ago.

Not even hundred meters further down into the forest Merlin fell on his knees and started hitting the ground furiously. His tears moistened his face and the ground. His hands started to bleed but he didn't even feel the pain as he just slumped forward lying on the floor tears streaming down his face. He didn't feel the pain he didn't feel the wetness on his face. He only felt the deep dark hole that he had just ripped into his own heart.

**Aww...poor Merlin and Arthur -.-***

**Anyways I hope you enjoyed it ;D  
please review and tell me what you think **

**I'll see that the next chapter is up soon :D**


	4. Gone

**Chapter Notes: xxXxxXxxXxx=Divider 'thinking' **_**flashback**_

**Thanks to all of you who are still with me on this...I hope you enjoy :D**

**Special thanks to those of you who take their time and leave a review they really make my day :D**

Dawn was already breaking when the two boys finally made their ways back into the castle. All the time they walked so close to each other but they didn't know and they were further apart than ever before.

"Arthur, where have you been? I had knights looking for you all over the place."

Arthur didn't acknowledge his father as he walked right past him into his chamber where he climbed into his bed to curl up into a tiny miserable princely ball, hoping for sleep to capture him and when he would wake up this would have been nothing but a bad dream.

"Merlin…" Gwaine jumped on his feet when the young warlock entered but Merlin didn't even look up at him. He just put a blanket on Gaius' sleeping form, putting a letter next to the older man's head before he grabbed his bags and the necklace Gwaine handed him, heading out into the dark cold night.

Gwaine sighed and followed him without another word.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Uther Pendragon was worried about his son. His behaviour was getting weirder by the minute. He had been easily irritable for a couple of days but then five days ago his demeanour had changed entirely. Since that day that Arthur had been missing, he was polite, quiet, friendly and hard working. He didn't talk when not asked did fulfil all his duties without question didn't take his time to flirt or joke around with his servant.

Where was that boy anyway? He knew Arthur had a new manservant but he couldn't recall them having a fight or anything.

He had been seeing Gaius on the matter of his son but the physician had just told him to not concern himself, Arthur had probably just realized the importance of his duties. Uther didn't believe that for a second. Trying to provoke his idealistic son he had been telling him about his plans to raise the taxes for the people in the lower town. Arthur hadn't even listened to him, he had just continued to stare at his food without actually eating it before he went out to train his knights again.

Right now he was looking down on the training field where Arthur had been fighting all of his knights the entire day. The sun was setting now and so were the knights. Most of them were just sitting in the grass panting, but Arthur was still on his feet.

Even later, the sun had already set and it had begun to rain he could hear strange noises from the exercise field and he found his son hitting a training doll with his sword again and again and again, putting all of his strength into each of the blows.

Uther looked on the expression in his son's face and he realized that Arthur was not fighting the doll. He was fighting something else. And Uther could not help him.

xxXxxXxxXxx

A lot later that night the young prince entered his chambers, dripping wet. He quickly stepped out of his clothes and lay them neatly onto a chair. He dressed into dry clothing before he pulled out another book about life and laws in Camelot.

'Merlin, you told me to pull myself together and become a good king. A long time ago you told me that I would one day be the greatest king ever to sit on the throne of Camelot. And even if you don't love me anymore even if you never did, I will do this for you. I will become a king you can be proud of.'

xxXxxXxxXxx

"This can't go on like this. He isn't talking. He isn't eating. He seems like an empty shell. We can't let it go on."

"What do you suggest we do? He only answers with yes or no or equally short remarks when we ask him. He refuses to interact with us. He is pushing himself to the limit. He only ever stops when one of us or the horses is near the breakdown. We..."

Merlin silently watched his two friends from the shadows. He had been gathering firewood and when he had returned he had caught glimpses of their conversation. He frowned as he listened to them. They had a kingdom to save and an evil sorcerer to stop. There was no time for them to worry about his emotional wellbeing. He stepped out of the shadows dropping the wood.

"Hey." he said curtly having them snap to attention immediately. It was obvious that they tried to figure out how much he had heard. He started to feel sorry for them. It was a strange feeling and the first one beside anger that he had felt since that day down at the lake.

"Guys, calm down. It's just me." He continued sitting down on a log across the two of them. The eyed him warily, still not talking.

"Ok, listen I'm sorry. I know I haven't been much of a good company lately and I'm sorry. I would...I would understand if you would rather turn back than to enter the marches with me."

The other two looked around. The foul stench of the marches was very evident at their current location. They were not all too far away. Gwaine raised his voice first.

"Merlin, you misunderstand. I am not going to leave you. No way. Not now that things finally get interesting."

That wasn't really true. Beyond the border of Camelot there had been quite a few bandits that had tried to stop the hastily travelling strangers. Some of them had attacked them with magic fireballs or cascades of water. Others had just been ordinary bandits. Merlin hadn't even stopped to listen to them. Any of the groups who had dared to get into their way had been quickly shoved aside with a magic blast. They hadn't stopped.

Not even when Merlin had been injured. One of the attacking magicians had shot him with an enchanted arrow. But Merlin hadn't stopped even then. His determination had been downright scary.

"Just so we're clear," Gwaine continued "I don't want to turn back and I am not going to let you do this alone. I'm just worried about you. You haven't been yourself lately."

Lancelot nodded quietly fixating Merlin with an intense stare. Merlin fidgeted at the attention. Lancelot didn't know about the supposed effect of the weapons and Merlin didn't want to tell him. He wished he hadn't told Gwaine who since then had been trying to convince him not to use it or to let him do it.

_Start Flashback_

"_Gwaine, you can't use it. You are not a sorcerer."_

"_Then I'll become one. I will not let you kill yourself"_

_Merlin groaned the wound of the arrow pounding painfully. They had made a short stop o tend to the wound, much to Merlin's dismay. Now he was lying on the cold floor with Gwaine next to him while Lancelot had taken off to fetch some fresh water._

"_Gwaine. You cannot use it and I will not let you." _

_He raised his hand to cut off the protest that Gwaine was about to muster._

"_It is my destiny. Not yours. I will promise you to use it only as a last resort when nothing else works."_

_He looked into the deep brown eyes of his friend who nodded reluctantly._

"_But you will have to promise me something in return."_

_Gwaine nodded looking at him with a serious expression which almost made Merlin smile._

"_Promise me, that when I have to use it and I die,..." he swallowed hard and Gwaine's expression hardened "Promise me that you will take care of yourself and the others. Promise me that you will found a family and that you will take care of prince prat. And don't ever think that you are alone. Arthur likes you and Lancelot does, too. So does Gwen."_

_He drew a deep breath and closed his eyes when he opened them again Gwaine was taken aback by the emphasis in the blazing blue eyes._

"_Just remember who you are and see who you can be. Don't sell yourself short. And..." _

_He pulled six envelopes out from inside of his tunic. All except one were about the same size. The other one looked a lot heavier. He handed them over to Gwaine. He looked through them. They were addressed to Gaius, Merlin's mother Hunith, Gwen, Lancelot himself and the last and biggest one was addressed to Arthur._

_Gwaine looked at him with a questioning expression._

"_Why are you giving them to me now?"_

"_We don't know what expects us along the way. Just in case something happens to me ok?"_

_With that he got up and moved towards the horses to see what condition they were in. Gwaine looked after him and then back down to the envelopes in his hand. He had a very bad feeling about this. He tucked the letters safely under his tunic shirt and went after his friend._

_End Flashback_

Merlin turned away and stomped off to his sleeping place.

"Get some rest. We ride at dawn."

With that he laid down facing the opposite direction.

The two others just looked at him then each other and then they shrugged and laid down as well. None of them held vigil. They were too close to the cursed marches for anyone to come near. They knew they had a hard day in front of them. Merlin had just stopped because they had pointed out the dangers of riding through the marches at night. Their destination was now within a day's ride. None of them was eager to get there.

xxXxxXxxXxx

"Arthur?" Gwen was standing outside the door of the young prince's room, waiting for him to answer. As he didn't she just entered the room. She was shocked to find dark green eyes glaring at her. The prince was sitting at his window. She swallowed hard. He just kept glaring at her.

'His eyes are so cold.' she thought to herself 'where is the prattish young prince with the easy smile and the bright eyes?'

"Sire?"

He just turned around and went on looking out of the window.

"Sire? Can I...mylady Morgana asked me to see if you needed anything and I thought..."

"Guinevere, I appreciate your concern and the concern of the lady Morgana, but did my not answering to your knocking or calling not possibly convey the impression that I merely wanted to be left alone?"

Gwen flinched visibly and for a split second Arthur wanted to jump up and apologize, but the urge was gone as fast as it had come.

"Well as I said. I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you. Convey my gratitude to the lady Morgana. And now please excuse me."

He stood up and walked right past her. Gwen was about to let him go as she figured she couldn't. The young maidservant caught hold of the prince's elbow and made him stop.

"Listen Arthur. This can't go on like this. I don't know what happened between you and Merlin but this is ridiculous. You have been acting strange for since he's been gone!"

Arthur just freed himself and glared at her.

"I said you're dismissed! Leave!"

Gwen wasn't having that. She knew something had been going on since the time Merlin had darted past her without even looking up. Something was seriously wrong there and she was about to get to the bottom of it.

"Look Arthur. Whyever Merlin went away, I am sure he did not want to leave you behind. There's..."

"You just don't want to listen do you? Merlin told me that he had it up to here with being my servant and that he wanted to take his chances elsewhere where he could be happy. He went away with Gwaine. I hope they're happy together."

The young prince was obviously agitated but Gwen just stared at him in disbelief.

"And you believed him?"

"What?"

"Really. Are blind and deaf as well as dumb?"

"Hey. You cannot talk to me like that!"

"Oh really? Fine. But you are an idiot!"

Arthur's jaw dropped at that and he was incapable of coming up with a coherent answer.

"Wha..why..what?"

"Honestly you do have no idea do you? Merlin cares for you a great deal. And if he told you off that means that something bad is about to happen and he wants to keep you out of harm's way. And you just let him go? I can't believe it. I hope he's alright, for your sake Arthur Pendragon."

And with that Gwen just turned around and left a completely nonplussed Arthur behind.

'What the hell was that just about?'

He went back into his chambers and laid down on his bed. Closing his eyes he forced himself to remember the day Merlin had took off. When he was thinking about it from the angle Gwen had just shoved him onto there suddenly was a whole new perspective to this.

"Damnit Merlin." He hissed putting his hands up to his face. "I just hope your ok, for your sake!"

xxXxxXxxXxx

When Gwaine woke up he found Merlin already awake staring into the fog of the marches contemplatively.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"We're now less than a day's ride away from the cave where the staff of compassion is hidden. Any word from the dragon yet?"

"No. But we have to proceed with extreme caution. The marches are dangerous and we don't know what waits for us in there."

Gwaine just nodded.

"I know."

Soon later all three of them were back on horseback and entering the fog. Merlin conjured up a light over the head of each of them.

"Ok. They should help us find each other if we should get lost."

Gwaine eyed him suspiciously.

"Are we really gonna rely on that?"

Lancelot made his horse step forward.

"Just don't get lost Gwaine and you'll be ok."

Merlin let out an amused huff at that and followed after the knight. Gwaine just stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds before he hurried after them.

"Hey, wait up I thought we were a team!"

xxXxxXxxXxx

"Ok, now that doesn't look good."

Gwaine said after the three of them had been standing in front of the caves entry silently for a few moments.

"Really?"

Lancelot snapped back while Merlin stepped closer to get a better look at the rock that was blocking their way in. While the other two were still bickering he pulled out the amulet that Gwaine had obtained from the castle's vault and placed it on a spot that seemed to fit the structure. The stoned slowly moved aside and Merlin took another step, now looking into the cave, hand still on the amulet.

"Woa, that was easy" Gwaine said stepping forward, only to be nearly smashed by the rock. As Lancelot tried to approach the same happened.

"Merlin? What is happening?"

"It appears that only the person in possession of the amulet can proceed."

"Nice. So throw me that amulet so I can get you that staff."

"I'm sorry Gwaine, that is not happening."

"What do you mean" Lancelot demanded to know.

"I'm the one who has the magic. I'll go in. I'm our best shot."

The other two wanted to argue but he cut them off.

"Look we don't have much time. I'll go and try to get the staff. If I'm not back by tomorrow night, you have to go back to Camelot to warn Arthur. Clear?"

"No! We are not going to leave you here Merlin!"

"Gwaine's right, We're a team remember. We are not going to let you down.

"Look I know you won't but there's no other option here. If Camelot is nit warned they're going down and a lot of people are going to die. If I don't make it you guys are their best shot. Promise me you'll warn Arthur if something happens to me."

Lancelot swallowed hard.

"Ok I promise. Just see that you're back quickly so I won't have to keep that promise."

Merlin smiled at him weakly before turning to his other friend.

"Gwaine? Please? You have got my letters. Please make sure Arthur get's his I'm begging you."

"I promise Arthur will get that letter no matter what."

"Thank you."

"Just be careful."

"I will be."

And with that Merlin disappeared into the cave, the entry closing behind him.

"Guess we'll have to wait until he gets back now. Hungry?" Lancelot asked sitting down on a patch of dry grass.

Gwaine just dropped on the floor next to him.

"This is a really crappy idea. I've got a majorly bad feeling about this."

xxXxxXxxXxx

"Gaius what is wrong with him? Why won't he wake up?"

"I do not know sire I can only tell you that the prince is physically healthy. I cannot explain what is happening."

They were standing over Arthur's bed. The current manservant of the prince had been hearing unusual noises from the prince's chambers. He had entered and as he had not been able to wake up the prince he had alerted Gaius and the king.

But there was no waking him up.

"Sire, could you please get me some cold water?"

"Of course of course" the worried king said walking out of the room, too concerned to object to the idea of getting water himself.

'Son what is happening to you? You have been doing better today. I thought you were finally over your grief. But now it's even worse. If I only knew what was happening.'

While the king was caught up in his thought's Gaius was looking at the blonde man in concern.

There had been nothing that had indicated the prince to be fatally ill, neither was there now. There was no other case that he could possibly compare that to.

"Merlin...Merlin...Look out!" the young man groaned and Gaius inhaled sharply. He had been wrong. He had been dealing with a similar situation once before. The time when Merlin had been poisoned by Nimueh and Arthur had been risking his life to save him.

Merlin had somehow been capable of assisting Arthur in his search. It now seemed to him as if the roles were reversed this time. Wherever Merlin was and whatever he was doing, Gaius was sure that Arthur and he were somehow connected and it affected the prince.

The old man sighed: "Merlin, I sure hope you're ok. I do not know what will happen to Arthur if you fail in your quest."

**Chapter End Notes: So I hope you liked it and stay with me to see were this is headed ;D**

**Feel free to review and tell me what you think ;D**


	5. I'd Come For You

**Chapter Notes: xxXxxXxxXxx=Divider 'thinking' /telepathy/ **_**letter**_

**Once again thanks to those who reviewed, your reviews really keep me going! 33**

**Here's the next chapter. Enjoy ;D**

"What in the name of...?" Merlin's vision was blurry as he looked around in the dark. He shook his head and tried to recall where he was and how he got here.

'I was in the cave. Looking for the staff of compassion. How did I...oh right. After I entered the amulet started to act weird.'

He had nearly had a heart attack when the thing had started to hum and levitated in front of him. But he had soon realized that it intended to lead him somewhere and it had been going pretty well until...

'Arthur...' Merlin thought. He was confused. He knew that it was impossible for the prince to be here but when he had walked around the corner and nearly crashed into whoever it was...

'It looked exactly like him...His eyes, his smile all of him...but it is impossible. It must have been wishful thinking.'

Anyways when he had been staring at the image of the young prince he had stumbled back in shock. Arthur had reached forward hand as if to grab him but the ground had given in under him and he fell...

'...and now I am here. Just where exactly is here?' he asked himself quietly and conjured up a glowing ball to take a look at his surroundings. It didn't help him much though. He was still in a cave, and the walls seemed to be built from the same material that the part he came from was made of.

"Ok...Great. So where do I go now?" as soon as he had said that the amulet appeared in front of his face as if it had just waited for its clue.

"Ok..." he took it and tied it around his neck. The glowing amulet tugged him towards a dark tunnel. Merlin groaned. He was not claustrophobic per se but this was really starting to give him the creeps. He murmured a spell and threw a hand full of lights into the tunnel. They placed themselves in a regular pattern on the ceiling and lit up the darkness.

"That's better." He said to himself before he followed the amulet into the tunnel.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Gaius was sitting next to the prince's bed, looking at him in concern. Although it had not yet been a day that he had refused to wake up, his father was already losing it, expecting sorcery to be the cause of his son's disease. Gaius had tried to calm him down, but the king had refused to listen and was now all over the castle and lower town, trying to find the sorcerer responsible.

Gaius however had another theory. But that didn't help much. He couldn't explain to himself how this was possible and he sure wouldn't tell the king that he suspected the tight bond between the prince and his manservant was causing this.

He didn't understand it anyways. Merlin was a warlock. It made sense for him to be able to sense Arthur's distress and reach out to help him even if he was not able to be there physically, especially given the circumstances of their relationship. But as for Arthur, how could he possibly do it?

Was it possible that their close relationship enabled them to be close to each other even if they were actually miles apart? For the umpteenth time in the last 30 hours the old physician asked himself how close they actually were, or had been before Merlin had left.

In the letter that Merlin had left him, he had explained that it was likely for him not to return. The young warlock had written that he was sorry and that he wanted Gaius to look out for Arthur. He pulled the letter out of his sleeve and read the passages about the prince.

"_...Gaius, you have done so much for me already, but I am afraid that I will have to ask you for another favour. I know Arthur can be a bit of a prat, but he is a good person and he will be a great kind one day. Please see that his strong spirit is not broken by the problems that he will have to face. Please look out for him. He can be very harsh and make very rash decisions and I fear for him when I am not around. He has the potential to become the greatest king Camelot has ever known but he can't do it alone. When I will not be able to be by his side please look out for him..."_

He sighed. It was not unusual for Merlin to be uncharacteristically concerned for his master's wellbeing and he had shown that he was ready to sacrifice himself for Arthur more than once and vice versa. It was safe to say that they were friends, but after the events of the last two weeks and the things that happened now Gaius was starting to as himself whether that was really all there was.

"Merlin...Merlin...Careful! Merlin...where are you?" his attention returned to the blonde boy in front of him as he once again started to call for his friend.

Gaius frowned. He would have dismissed his assumption about this being the same as it had been with Merlin and the morteaus flower, seeing as Arthur was no sorcerer. But something told him that Arthur was in fact looking for his manservant in some way.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Merlin was slowly getting tired from walking after the amulet, his legs and back hurt, he was hungry and cold. He decided to take a short break He had no idea how long he had been down here, how long he had been out after his fall, but he could not go on like this. He settled on the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees. It was so cold. He was o tired. Maybe of he just closed his eyes for a second...

"Merlin!"

The head of the young warlock darted up as he heard someone calling his name. He tried to clear his head from the haze that had befallen him but it refused to lift. Why was he so tired? And why was he lying down? He was confused, but he felt how his eyes drifted closed. It was so cold.

"Merlin you have to get up! You can't stay here! Get up!"

Merlin could hear the voice but he couldn't discern the meaning of the words that it spoke. The cold was creeping into his bones and he was slowly losing himself to his tiredness. He tried to concentrate on the voice. It sounded like Arthur.

He sounded really concerned and even though Merlin was unable to understand what the voice said the sound of it soothed him.

'It has to be a dream. Is this how I go down?' he tried to fight against the heaviness in his limbs, tried to open his eyes but he couldn't. The cold was holding him captive.

"Merlin please listen to me! You have to get up!"

Merlin felt how his face lit up in a weak smile. 'At least Arthur's voice will be the last thing I hear.'

"You idiot. You have to get up if you stay down you will die! Fight damnit! Fight!"

'Arthur,' he thought with all the strength he had left 'I'm so sorry. I love you.' And then he drifted into the cold darkness.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Gwaine was pacing in front of the cave's entry. It was past nightfall the next day.

"Come on Merlin, where are you? Get out of there already." he cursed lowly.

"Gwaine. We have to go back to Camelot. We promised him to go if he wasn't back by nightfall and..."

"Be quiet. I am not leaving Merlin behind!"

"You promised him! If we don't go Camelot is doomed. Merlin is not coming back!"

"Don't be ridiculous, he just needs some more time!"

Lancelot got up and gripped the other mans shoulders tightly shaking him.

"Come to your senses. I know that Merlin was your friend, he was mine too. But we gave him a promise and I intend to keep it!"

They were glaring at each other for a moment before Gwaine looked away, defeated. Without another word he climbed on his horse, taking the reins of Merlin's horse. Lancelot led the way, making his horse walk on the path they had used to get there.

Gwaine just stood still for a moment looking at the entry of the cave.

'Merlin, I promise I will do all that's in my power to keep Arthur and Camelot safe. I promise.'

With that he kicked his horse into the sides and hurried after Lancelot.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Gaius was alerted by the things that Arthur was screaming. He did not know what to do. He tried to muffle the screams but he was barely capable of restraining the struggling prince.

"You idiot. You have to get up if you stay down you will die! Fight damnit! Fight!" Arthur screamed and fought against Gaius who tried to hold him down.

"No! You don't get to leave me again! No way! MERLIN!"

The prince nearly jumped out of his bed at his last call and Gaius was hit by a wave of light and shoved back forcefully.

As he scrambled up and rushed back to the prince's side he could see that he was now lying very still. His shirt was all wet and his covers were jumbled from his struggle, but now it almost looked as if he was...

"Gaius, what happened? I heard Arthur scre...!"

The king stopped dead in his words as he saw the physician kneel next to the immobile form of his only son.

He approached hesitantly, not wanting to know but realizing that he had to be sure.

"Gaius...is he..?"

The old physician looked up at his king eyes dark. He looked very exhausted.

"I fear that your son is gone mylord."

"What...?" Uther stumbled back as if he had been hit by an arrow. "How."

Gaius noticed his mistake as he saw the pain evident on the other man's face.

"No sire. He is not dead. His body functions are still working, although they are very weak."

"But you said he was...?"

"Yes sire. I can't explain what happened but it seems as if..."

Looking at the king's face he gathered his composure. He had been so caught in surprise and fear for the two boys that he had nearly confessed to his king. He swallowed hard.

"What I am trying to say is that all of his strength seems to have left his body. We can only hope that he will recover from that."

Uther eyed him suspiciously for a moment before he yelled at the knights standing at the door.

"Make certain that the prince is comfortable and keep an eye on him. If anything changes about his constitution you are to inform me and Gaius immediately. Is that understood?"

"Yes sire" answered Sir Leon in place of the others.

Satisfied with that the king turned back to the physician.

"Thank you Gaius. You should get some rest now. We will sent for you if his condition changes."

Gaius only nodded gratefully and walked out of the room. He had a lot on his mind.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Merlin was drifting. He felt as if he was drowning in cold water but as much as he was trying to fight it he just couldn't. He was hoping that Kilgarrah and Gwaine would be able to keep Arthur safe.

Suddenly he was yanked up by a burst of bright light. He groaned refusingly but suddenly he was surrounded by a comfortable warmth and he suddenly felt his body again.

"Merlin! Merlin!"

He heard a loud voice shout at him and the words became clear to him as he opened his eyes and looked into Arthur's face.

"Nghhh..." he shut them again shaking his head to chase away the image before he reopened them again, just to look into the same face.

"Merlin thank god you're awake."

Merlin found himself in a tight embrace. Hesitantly he returned it.

"Arthur? You can't be here."

"Well since I am you must be wrong with that assumption. Not that that's new or anything."

Merlin blinked, carefully freeing himself from the embrace. He looked at his surroundings and then back at the prince. Or what- or whoever it was that was disguising himself as the prince.

He was not wearing his armour, but he was carrying his sword. He was wearing the red tunic which Merlin loved so much coupled with dark pants and boots. All in all a very aesthetically pleasing picture. He shook his head and brought some distance between him and the other person.

Back on his legs he backed up against the wall his eyes never leaving the eyes of the other.

'Even the eyes are a perfect imitation.' He thought. And he would know since he had spent quite the inordinate amount of time getting lost in them.

He scolded himself internally. The Arthur impostor was looking at him with a strange expression.

"Ok so, who are you?"

Merlin had to give credit to the person behind this. The way the person rolled his eyes and looked at him as he got up as well was very Arthur-like.

"Merlin...have you hit your head? It's me Arthur."

"Hardly...Arthur is safe in Camelot. There's no way he could be here. And he wouldn't..."

"What...?" the prince demanded to know as Merlin broke off midsentence.

"We had a fight. He wouldn't have bothered to come here. So who are you?" Merlin's voice had gotten more demanding and he was about to use his magic to force out answers when something unexpected happened.

The other guy dropped down on his knees and buried his face in his hands. Merlin couldn't help but feel the pain of the man who was looking so similar to his lover. He approached carefully and knelt down beside him putting one hand on the other man's shoulder.

"What is happening to me Merlin? Where am I? Why am I here? How did I get here? I just don't understand I..."

Merlin could feel the other person's distress and he pulled him into a comforting hug. And suddenly it hit him. He felt as if hundreds of memories stormed in on him as he suddenly remembered the incident with the morteaus flower. He had been with Arthur the whole time, without actually being with him physically. Was it possible that Arthur had somehow sensed that he needed him and...

Merlin felt how his hopes got up. If after all those horrible things he had said Arthur was still willing to come to his rescue maybe it was not yet too late for their relationship...

"Shhhhh..." he soothe the prince and gently kissed his forehead which made Arthur look up at him in surprise.

"I'm glad you're here Arthur. I am so sorry for everything I..."

Arthur stopped his rambling by bringing his index finger to Merlin's lips.

"Shh..." now Arthur hushed him. "I thought you didn't believe me that I am myself."

"I didn't"

Another questioning look from Arthur and Merlin hurriedly tried to explain.

"I just never thought...I mean...Even if it had been possible for you to come here I just didn't think you'd...I mean after all those horrible things I said..."

Arthur huffed at that.

"Neither did I Merlin neither did I. But someone opened my eyes to your motives and I am far from being mad at you. Plus...I did not follow you. I don't even know where we are or how I got here."

"Mhh...what is the last thing you remember?"

They shifted positions so they could look into each other's eyes but they were both reluctant to let go of each other now that they were finally back together.

"I remember that I was in my room...and...I was lying down on my bed...and..." Arthur stopped blushing which made Merlin very curious.

"Aaaannnnddd...?"

"Ah...erm well..." Arthur averted his eyes and Merlin swallowed hard.

"Ok, now I'm nervous. Do I even want to know?"

"What?" Arthur could see the strange expression on Merlin's face and now it was at him to find an explanation.

"Oh no...You are completely throwing this out of proportion! I pulled your neckerchief out from under my pillow where I put it and erm...well..." he blushed again and stopped but when he looked into Merlin's face this time all he could see was affection. He let out a relieved sigh.

"The next thing I remember is looking at you stumbling around the corner following some strange glowing thing. But when you saw me you just jumped back and then you fell through a hole in the ground...don't ask me how it got there. I tried to find a way to you but I couldn't and then...Suddenly I was here. And you were..." he let out a shaky breath... "I'm just glad you're ok Merlin. Now...where are we and what are we doing here?"

Merlin got up pulling his lover onto his feet and pulling out the amulet. It immediately started to glow again, levitating in the air in front of them.

"What the...?"

"To answer your questions. We are in a cave in the middle of the cursed marches...or the...ah well...there are so many different names for them."

"I thought they were just a legend."

"Well as you can see they are not. Anyways, I am here to find something."

"Ok...what are we looking for?"

"WE are not looking for anything Arthur. I am. You can't stay."

"I am no leaving you right now! Besides I don't even know how."

Merlin looked at him with a disbelieving look realizing quickly that he was telling the truth.

"Well then," he said grabbing Arthur's hand "follow me."

xxXxxXxxXxx

After what felt like an eternity of walking in silence Arthur finally decided to speak up.

"Merlin, where are we going?"

"I don't know."

"How long until we get there?"

"I don't know."

"What are we even looking for exactly?"

"You will know it when you see it"

"How can you be sure of that?"

Merlin was slowly starting to be annoyed by the endless questions. It was interesting. Every single person who had told him that a relationship could only work if the partners were in perfect harmony with each other must have been lying. Because Arthur was driving him crazy on a regular basis. And vice versa as he assumed. The friendship they had had before had not lost any of its elements. It had just gained a few new ones. Maybe that was another way to make relationships work. When your most trusted friend turned out to be the love of your life...

"I can't" he answered absentmindedly.

"But if you don't know that for sure how can you be sure that we haven't already walked past it?"

"I don't know ok? How should I? I am only following the instructions I've been given. There's one thing I am sure of though..."

"Oh...what would that be?" Arthur dared to ask in his best prince prat voice.

Merlin put on a mischievous grin and turned around to face him.

"Simple...If you would stop asking stupid questions and just continue walking we would be a hell of a lot faster!"

"Hey, you can't talk to your prince like that." Arthur grinned at the back of Merlin who was already walking away again.

"oh ok I'm sorry...let me rephrase...shut up and get walking...sire!"

Merlin called back over his shoulder and Arthur followed him with a bright smile on his face. Things were getting back to normal between them rather quickly, it was almost as if the last two weeks hadn't happened.

"Merlin?"

"Mmhh?"

"Whose instructions are you following?"

"Arthur?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut u...whoa..."

Merlin walked around a corner rather quickly which nearly had him falling down an abyss that was there very suddenly. It was only thanks to Arthur's quick reflexes that he didn't test how far away the ground actually was.

"That was a close call right there..." Arthur said, adrenalin rushing through his body making his breath come quicker.

"Thank you..." a panting Merlin pushed out from his arms. "Damn. Where did that thing come from I mean please. First the cold thing and then..."

"Merlin..." Arthur tried to interrupt the excited chatter but he was not very successful.

"I really can't believe it. Is that idiot of Kilgarrah trying to get us both killed. Really...?"

"Merlin, shut up and look."

Merlin stared at Arthur with a weird expression before he followed his gaze and noticed the giant pointy rock which was about 500 meters ahead of them. At its peak there was a glowing thing. Merlin could not really identify the item but the pull of the amulet was getting stronger.

"Arthur. I think this is what I was looking for. Wait here."

"No way I'm letting your clumsy ass climb up there alone. I'm going."

"You can't. I have to obtain the item on top of this rock. You can't"

"Fine. Then it's settled. We'll both go."

And with that Arthur started to walk over the very narrow path which was leading to the rock. Merlin looked down into the abyss and swallowed once before he went after the prince.

"Arthur wait! It's more secure if we go together."

Arthur just nodded and motioned for him to come closer. Once again they entwined their hands and made their way.

When they reached the rock both of them were panting and sweating. While it had not been overly physically exhausting, the constant fear of themselves or the other falling into their death had taken its toll from both of them.

Now they were looking at a new problem. Between the narrow ledge they were standing on and the rock where the now recognizable staff was located on there was a gap. It was probably 3 meters wide. Nothing they could not handle. But Merlin was afraid that his clumsiness would be the death of both of them.

"Ok Arthur you go first. I'll follow." With that he tried to withdraw his hand from Arthur's but the young prince didn't let him.

"No" Merlin was stunned by Arthur's flat out refusal but he just offered him the second option.

"Ok fine then I'll go first."

"No." Arthur refused again.

"So what? We just stand here until the rock moves over or what?"

"No. We're jumping together."

"What? No way. You said it yourself. I'm clumsy enough to kill both of us."

"Exactly my point."

"Beg your pardon?"

"If I let you jump alone no matter in what order the likelihood of you slipping or tripping over is a lot bigger than if we go together."

"What? How does that make sense?" Merlin asked fairly nonplussed.

"Simple." Arthur said pulling him close. "You would never do anything that could harm me. Not if there's any way around it." With that he kissed him gently.

"You also showed that you are more than willing to give up your life for mine. So jumping together will make sure you don't do anything stupid." He kissed him again.

"And last but not least..." Merlin looked at him expectantly but Arthur just leaned in for another kiss. This one lasted longer than the other two.

"Last but not least, if we jump together there is no way I'm going to fall. I would never let any harm come to you Merlin. Never." After he finished that sentence the young prince found himself pulled in for another kiss. This one was a lot more demanding and when they finally broke away they were both gasping for breath.

Arthur leaned his forehead against Merlin's and he smiled.

"Ok, let's do this."

Merlin nodded and they jumped. For a very long second they were flying through the air before they impacted with the rock. Arthur managed to balance himself quickly but Merlin just lost hold and he fell.

Just that he didn't. Arthur was holding him. He looked strained as he tried to pull Merlin back up.

"Arthur. Just let go off me before we both fall."

"Oh no, no way. I came here for you. I promised you I wouldn't let anything happen to you. And I won't! Just hang on!"

And with that he doubled his efforts and pulled Merlin up next to him. As soon as he was back safe back on his feet Arthur smacked him in the back of the head.

"Oww...what was that for?"

"You idiot! I told you not to let go! Don't ever do that again! I could not live myself if you died on my account so please... Promise me!"

Arthur stared into Merlin's eyes with a serious expression but Merlin just looked away, eyes on the staff.

"Let's go get it."

And with that he made his way up towards the staff. Arthur just shook his head and followed him.

When they reached the top they were both rather stunned.

"Merlin, what is this? It is beautiful..."

"This is the staff of compassion and you're right" Merlin said eying the staff.

There was a large emerald on top of the white staff. Wound around the staff there were ornaments of silver and smaller pieces of emerald in form of flowers and leaves.

"It is beautiful."

"Ok we found it now what do we do?"

Merlin shot him a strange look and Arthur's mouth fell open.

"Oh come on. You don't know? Merlin...!"

"Well...there wasn't much time to talk about details you know?"

Arthur watched as Merlin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

'What is he up to now?'

/Kilgarrah? Kilgarrah can you hear me? I have found the staff. What do I do now?/

No answer.

/Kilgarrah? Do your hear me? Hellooo?/

"Damnit." He muttered under his breath.

"What?" Arthur asked worriedly.

"Ah...nothing. I just really don't know what to do now."

"How about we take it and head back to Camelot?"

"Arthur no!" Merlin screamed as Arthur reached for the staff but it was too late the staff had already given off a blow that sent Arthur falling.

Merlin unconsciously reached for the staff as he tried to grab Arthur's hand. But Arthur slipped away from him.

"No!" he called.

Arthur was falling backwards and Merlin was desperately trying to reach him. As his hand which he had extended in order to steady himself touched the staff it sent out a wave of bright light, making everything around fade into white.

xxXxxXxxXxx

"MERLIN!"

Arthur jumped up in his bed, panting heavily. He startled Gaius who had been sleeping next to his bed so much that the older man ruggedly landed on the floor.

Arthur stared at him.

"Where is Merlin? What happened? How did I get back here?"

**Chapter End Notes: Soo...that's as far as this chapter goes...as always I hope you enjoyed reading it...please leave a review :D**

**I hope I'll be able to update again soon :D**


	6. Under My Skin

**Chapter Notes: Yeah...*headdesk* that took me a while to get this published,..**

**really,...sry for the delay guys real life decided to play mean and not let me work on this -.-***

**Anyways here it is...thank you for putting up with me 33**

**And thanks to those who reviewed, you are a great inspiration for me :D**

**Enjoy **

**

* * *

**

"Sire?"

Arthur's head snapped around at the noise of Gaius' voice. He stared at the physician and frowned.

"Are you alright?" the physician asked looking at the blonde boy with concern.

"Gaius...How long have I been here?"

"You have been in here for the past 2 days, a little longer even."

"That is not possible."

"Sire?"

"Just a second ago I was with Merlin in the cave we were looking for..." he trailed of as the memories returned to him with full force.

He remembered the blow which the staff had dealt him, sending him falling over the edge of the rock. He remembered Merlin's terrified expression as he leapt after him to catch him. Merlin had touched the staff when he grabbed it to have something to balance Arthur's weight with. The staff had sent out a blazing white light that had made Merlin's eyes look as if they glowed in bright gold.

"Merlin..." he muttered under his breath.

"Sire?" Gaius asked confused.

"Gaius we have to save him...Merlin...the staff...the cave...the light...!"

"Sire you are tired, you have been seriously ill and you are still recovering. I am sure it was just a dream."

"It was not a dream! I was there with him you have to believe me please."

The blonde boy tried to get up but Gaius pushed him back down. He looked at the distressed prince and he was torn. He did not want to the young man, but he knew that if he told the prince the truth there would be a conflict of loyalty between his father and Merlin and he didn't want to do that to him. It would cause Arthur to worry even more if he knew that what he had seen had actually been the truth.

"Arthur..." he spoke in a soothing voice "it has been a dream. I am sure that Merlin is ok. Wherever he is right now. Ok?"

"Gaius..."

Arthur's voice broke and Gaius could see tears glistering in the boys face. He was shocked. Arthur Pendragon never showed emotions,...never gave a weakness away. Gaius swallowed hard. Could he tell Arthur? He looked into the hurt emerald eyes and he made his decision. He did not know why but somehow he was sure that the young prince would not let any harm come to Merlin.

"Arthur..." he started with a serious expression immediately drawing Arthur's full intention. Intent green eyes fixated him and he swallowed hard.

"Arthur, I..."

"Arthur...You're awake!"

The young prince and the old physician jumped in shock as the king burst through the door unexpectedly rushing to Arthur's side. And Gaius had known the king for a long time but he had never seen him this wound up, this emotionally vulnerable as he had been in these past two days.

"How are you?" the king inquired not even really noticing the slowly retreating physician.

As Gaius left the prince and his father so they could have some privacy he could feel the stare of those emerald eyes burning a hole into the back of his head. He closed the door behind him and walked towards his chambers with a sigh. Now that he was no longer caught up in emotion confessing seemed to be a bad idea. But there was no way he would get out of it that easily. He would have to think of something.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Gwaine and Lancelot were travelling in complete and utter silence. Although they had decided to get their game together to go and save Camelot the unfinished business of their argument was still very evident in the heavy silence between them.

Lancelot was aware that he and Gwaine would have to combine their strength in order to even stand the slightest chance to save Camelot and the Pendragons. But he was still angry at the illogical man who had placed his affection for the young warlock over his duty to protect the Camelot and even more so for acting as if Lancelot hadn't cared about Merlin which was not true.

Gwaine on the other hand couldn't believe that the other guy would actually put his duty towards a kingdom he was not even welcome in and a king who had banished him over the life of their mutual friend. But what he was even more pissed off about was the fact that Lancelot had had the nerve to accuse him of not caring about the promise which they had made to Merlin.

But he also knew of the amazing fighting skills of the other and he knew that Merlin had not picked...well the dragon had not picked him without reason. He was loyal, courageous and loyal to death. He knew they had to work this out if they wanted to have a chance to keep their promise.

After another time of scowling at each other in contemplative silence Gwaine decided to give it a shot. He kicked his horse and directed it next to Lancelot who was riding on his horse and holding the reins of Merlin's horse.

They were taking turns at leading Mystery, the black gelding that Arthur had bought for Merlin a while ago, when he had noticed how Merlin eyed the horse. It hadn't seemed like a good idea back then, the horse had been incontrollable, but it had turned out pretty well. Arthur had never admitted that he had bought the horse for Merlin, but the happiness in his servants eyes had been all the reward that he had needed.

They stopped the horses and looked at each other, trying to pinpoint something that could make it easier for them to connect over something else than their shared purpose. It was even more difficult than they had expected.

While Lancelot was dignified and honourable, always living the knight life regardless of what it cost him, Gwaine was easygoing and righteous, living life the way he wanted to, the way he thought it was right. Lancelot was a man who wanted to be a knight of Camelot more than anything but wasn't granted that because of some unjustified rule of Uther and Gwaine who could very well be a knight of Camelot just did not want to do it. He did not want to live this life.

Gwaine realized that and sighed, bowing forward to pat the back of Mystery. At that suddenly six envelopes fell on the floor and he leapt after them to pick them up.

"Shit..." he muttered as he scooped them up and looked at them closely trying to determine whether any harm had come to them. After he was sure that it hadn't he wanted to tuck them back safely under his tunic as his gaze suddenly fell on the names written on the two on top. He tucked the other letters away and eyed the last two with a contemplative look.

Lancelot stared down at him trying to figure out what was going on as he too caught sight of the names on the envelopes.

"Gwaine, what is this?"

Gwaine looked up at him making a decision. If there was anyone who knew the two of them good enough to resolve their little difficulty it would be Merlin.

"Maybe we should set up our camp here, I believe the horses need rest...and we do, too...also there is something I have to show you."

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur was slowly but surely becoming very frustrated. He had been trying to see Gaius all day but first his father had insisted on mother-henning him to death and now that he had finally managed to escape from his rooms he found himself followed by his father's most loyal servant.

Letting out a frustrated sigh he turned around catching a glimpse of the servant trying to hide in the shadow of a door.

"John, what exactly are you doing?"

The older man blushed hesitantly stepping out of his supposed to be hideout, obviously at a loss for words.

"I sire...I...erm...I am just dusting the..."

"The door to the armoury of my knights?" Arthur suggested

"Yes exactly...!" the other man agreed full heartedly.

"Is that so...?" Arthur continued, raising a questioning eyebrow.

The smile on the other man's face faltered and his shoulders slumped visibly forward as he realized his mistake.

"Ah..."

Arthur sighed again. It was obvious that the man was terrified and, for the umpteenth time this day he missed Merlin strongly. Even if it hadn't been for his love for the raven haired boy or the fact that he was the most loyal and trustworthy friend that Arthur had ever had, he still would have missed the insolent ways in which Merlin had always used to oppose him.

He missed that quite a lot. All the bickering and challenging. It had kept both of them in place on more than one occasion. It kept him from turning into a dollop head...or whatever Merlin used to call him. All the crouching servants with their attitude to want nothing more than to fulfil his wishes were driving him insane.

"Yeah I thought so...so why don't you just go and make yourself useful somewhere huh?"

The servant swallowed hard, visibly flinching and bowing his head, but he didn't back off.

"I mean it John, get lost!"

With that the servant took off.

"Finally" Arthur grumbled as he reached the door of Gaius' chambers, charging in without knocking.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Gwaine and Lancelot were sitting at their fire, across each other. Gwaine was looking at Lancelot while said was reading his letter. He watched the expression change from a frown to sadness to a happy smile. Now it was his turn to frown. What was so funny? He was so busy watching Lancelot that he forgot to read his own letter.

As the other warrior finished reading he found Gwaine looking at him with an odd expression.

"Gwaine? Aren't you going to read yours?"

"Oh what? Sure..."

With that he opened the envelope and straightened the paper before he began to read.

_Gwaine, _

_When you are reading this it must mean that I am either missing or dead. Which means that now we have a problem. You have to get back to Camelot to warn Arthur..._

_I know you Gwaine and I know that you most likely had a disagreement with Lancelot about whether or not to leave me behind and go for Camelot..._

_I appreciate the sentiment...but don't be too hard on him...he wants to do the right thing and you guys will have to embrace your differences together rather than using them as a reason to be mad at each other..._

_The two of you are both very one of a kind...and if you work together you and Kilgarrah will find a way to save Camelot even without me..._

_I believe in you..._

_From the first moment I met you I knew that I could trust you...and not only did you prove me right, you proved to be much more than an ally to Arthur for his future as king...You proved to be a great friend for me as well...and for that I will be forever grateful..._

_I know that you have this slightly troublesome tendency of yours to piss off people who are far more heavily armed than you and get into fights where you are hopelessly outnumbered..._

_Things never get boring when you're around, you are a great person. I hope you'll find a place where you belong...and wherever it will be they'll be happy to have you..._

_That one time when you told me that you were there for a friend...that I was that friend...I couldn't even believe it...now I do...you are one of the most loyal persons I know and I love you like a brother...never doubt that...ever..._

_I want you to know how important your friendship is to me...and that I know that you and Lancelot can save Arthur and Camelot if you work together..._

_So please...do not let his pride and your pigheadedness get in the way of the great things you could do together..._

_And Gwaine, when all of this is over, you must realize that one day you will be one of the greatest knights Camelot has ever seen...like it or not..._

_Take care..._

_Merlin_

Gwaine swallowed hard after he had finished reading...and as he looked up Lancelot was staring at him...

"Gwaine, are you alright?"

As a first reaction in his emotional state he wanted to snap at him, but he remembered what Merlin had written in the letter and he figured that something similar would be in the other man's latter...and he was trying...if he could do that he could as well...

"I'm fine...I guess now that I read this it just dawned on me that he might actually never come back you know?"

They told each other stories about Merlin and their adventures and as they finally went to sleep they were happy that they had finally found a common ground they could built their temporary partnership on.

xxXxxXxxXxx

"Gaius finally I..." Arthur stopped in amused shock as he saw that he had startled the old physician so badly by rushing in that said was now going to the ground buried under a pile of dusty books he had just tried to rearrange a little bit on his bookshelf. As he looked at the dumbfounded expression of the older man he couldn't help but to start laughing.

"Arthur! Damnit!" the very red faced physician yelled at him "You're just as bad as Merlin is, has neither of you ever been introduced to knocking or the idea of privacy? Seriously?"

Gaius was very annoyed but as he looked at the laughing blonde prince he couldn't help but smile as well. It felt good to see him so joyful, without the sadness and sorrow clouding his mind for the last couple days. It made Gaius feel as if his ward would be about to stumble down the stairs from his chambers to join the laughing prince on one of the pointless hunting trips they had been going on frequently.

But as the laughing abated a while later and a serious expression crept into the face of Arthur he settled himself on a chair with a sigh, motioning the prince to sit down across of him.

"I believe I think it is time I tell you the truth..."

"He did what?" Arthur yelled after the physician had filled him in.

Well, not entirely. Gaius had decided that it would be cruel to leave the prince in the dark about Merlin's quest but he thought it unwise to tell him the truth about the dragon and the part of Merlin being a warlock.

"Are you telling me he and Mr. Drunk-and-getting-myself-into-trouble-frequently are on a quest to find that weapon thing which will only stop the sorcerer that plans to attack Camelot if Merlin gives his life? Is he crazy? This is never going to work. He might be hurt...or worse...I have to go and..."

When the young prince stood up Gaius pushed him right back into his chair.

"Calm down. Merlin had a reason for not wanting you there. He would never do anything that could risk your life. You know that. And he knew that Camelot would need you if..."

"If...?"

"If they would fail..." Gaius continued seeing how Arthur gulped at that thought.

"You have to stay here and prepare your knight for a battle like never before. You have to trust Merlin to have made the right choice."

Arthur nodded. Of course he trusted Merlin. There was no one in his life he trusted more. He felt a twang of jealousy at the thought of Merlin and Gwaine. Every time Merlin set out for a quest it was Gwaine he asked to come along. Arthur knew, logically, that Merlin just wanted to keep him safe, but to him it felt as if Merlin didn't think he could fully trust him and that hurt him far more than it should.

"Ok..." Arthur said taking a deep breath to calm himself down. "What do we tell my father?"

"Listen to me very carefully, you cannot tell your father of this until you have proof. Otherwise he will suspect Merlin of being the one guilty for what might be to come. And you know how your father..."

"I see..." Arthur contemplated getting angry at the conclusion that he drew from this. "Does that mean that I sit here and do nothing while Merlin and his friend are out there risking their lives?"

Gaius could feel the anger radiating off the young prince but there was nothing he could do to change the way things were right now.

"I am afraid that is exactly what you will have to do."

And so that was exactly what Arthur did. He returned a little more to his old self after learning that Merlin was with Gwaine, but not WITH Gwaine and he could enjoy life a little. After Gaius had assured him that the happenings in the cave had merely been his subconscious trying to tell him the truth about Merlin the tension and fear for Merlin's life had abated a little.

Still every time a rider came onto the courtyard he rushed to see whether it was Merlin, but it never was. And so he waited. Patiently. And every night he spent alone, in spite of his father's trial's to hook him up with several girls or young women.

Every night he went to bed, pulling the red neckerchief out from under his pillow, cradling it against his chest. Every night as soon as he closed his eyes after another hard day of training his knights as soon as he closed his eyes he was with Merlin again.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Three days later two riders arrived in Camelot and once again he rushed to see who it was. And indeed it was Gwaine. He raced towards the other man, just to stop dead in his tracks as Gwaine noticed him, a broken expression rushing over his face. And as the other man turned around he could see the reason. It wasn't Merlin it was Lancelot.

Arthur turned on his heels rushing to the armoury. No one ever went there outside of training or emergencies so it was a good spot to sit and think. His breath came in short gasps and his heart was pounding heavily in his chest as he sunk down onto the floor.

'What does this mean? Where is Merlin? Why...?'

He didn't get the chance to finish his chain of thought because Gwaine stepped into sight right this moment, the remorseful look on his face not helping to calm Arthur down at all.

At a loss for anything he could say the dark-haired man handed him an envelope that was addressed to him. Arthur stared at it blankly, noticing that it was written in Merlin's handwriting. Silently Arthur took it and glanced up at the other man who retreated in silence, backing out of the armoury.

Alone again Arthur weighted the heavy envelope in his hands scared of opening it, scared of what might be inside. He didn't want to see it. But he knew he would have to read it eventually so he got up to his chambers to get some stuff and sent his temporary manservant to the stables to saddle Valor, one of his horses. He walked into the stables and ignored all his surroundings while he got on his horse, riding out of Camelot, away from all the people.

xxXxxXxxXxx

While Arthur was on his own, Gwaine and Lancelot had delivered the rest of the letters, which had resulted in a meeting of all of the recipients minus Hunith who would not get her letter before tomorrow in Gaius' chambers.

Not knowing the content of the letters Gaius, Gwaine and Lancelot were wary to find out how much Merlin had chosen to give away. As soon as Gwen entered however Lancelot's attention shifted from the problem at hand to the pretty young woman. But the two of them managed to keep their act together until the meeting was over.

They talked about Merlin's plan, every one of them an important part in it. They decided that they were going to do the best they could to fulfil his wishes and keep themselves and the kingdom safe.

Gwen and Lancelot also intended to act on Merlin's advice to confess their feeling for each other. Merlin had given them the hint that they felt exactly the same for each other and that they would miss out on something beautiful if they didn't even try. Lancelot would try out for the knights again under Arthur's regency, so he would be able to live his dream and be near to the woman he loved.

Morgana had been given an advice about her visions, the young warlock had told her to see them as a gift and not as something to fear since it was up to her to let them come true or not. He had told her to keep her strong will and to never change her righteous heart. But he had also advised her to not let her temper get the best of her. He had told her that she would have to oppose Arthur to make sure he didn't turn into a unendurable prat, but also that she had to look out for the others.

Merlin had thanked Gaius for being a father to him and helping him to find his way in a world where it seemed as if he could never belong anywhere. He told the old man to ask Gwaine to stay with him, so none of them would have to be alone. He told him that he was sorry if he really didn't make it back and that he wouldn't trade their time for anything.

And while all of them were reading their letters again and again, chattering about the respective contents Gwaine was uncharacteristically quiet while he watched them. His mind was troubled as he thought about the young prince and the close bond that said and Merlin shared, he refused to think 'had shared'. He wondered what the true extent of their relationship was and whether they could make it through this trouble or if they could not withstand the strain.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur had led his horse to the lake in the forest where Merlin used to spend a lot of time. He settled down, letting his horse go and making himself comfortable in the peaceful place. That was when he pulled the envelope out from under his shirt, opening it carefully, to straighten out the paper inside. Suddenly something dropped into his lap.

It was a ring and it was very beautiful. It showed two dragons holding up a beautiful heartshaped green-blue stone which was surrounded by roses. The roses and the dragons were forged out of silver, the stone was unlike anything Arthur had ever seen and it seemed to change its colour. The ring was placed on a silver chain. Arthur pulled the chain around his neck and started to read the letter.

_Arthur, _

_The first thing I want you to know is how terribly sorry I am for everything. The whole thing with Gwaine, the lie, the pain I have caused you...I am so sorry for it..._

_I hope that you have been able to move on and if that is the case I want you to know that I wish you all the best..._

_When you get this letter it means that something happened to me, maybe I got lost maybe I have been killed I do not know whether or whether not I will come back to you, but I want you to know that I will if there's any chance for me to return to you, even if it's just to be your manservant and never more I will be there..._

_Please do not be mad at Gwaine and Lancelot, especially not at Gwaine...none of the horrible things I did were his fault, he just tried to keep you safe..._

_You will need the two of them if you want to make it, if you want to fulfil your destiny as Camelot's greatest king...remember that you have people around you who care for you and who you can rely on..._

_The ring which was inside the envelope was the ring my father handed my mother when they fell in love, it is not a ladies ring and it was not meant as an engagement ring. It is a promise ring. She gave it to me when I left for Camelot telling me that I should give that ring to the person I wanted to promise my life heart and soul to. I know it is kind of cheesy but I wanted you to have it..._

_I hope that it will be a little something that will stop you from forgetting me...like a piece of me is still with you..._

_I know it is selfish, and it is up to you what you do with the ring..._

_If I really manage to return to Camelot and things go awry there I want you to know that I love you more than anyone else..._

_Back in the time when you came to Ealdor to help me save my village you asked me whether I had any luck finding a place where I belonged and I hadn't been sure back then, but now I am..._

_I found the place I belong, it is the place right by your side, no matter where you are, no matter what dangers you face my place would always be right there beside you..._

_I am happy that destiny led us together because my life became so much better when I met you..._

_Back in the time when you were still in love with Gwen and we went to rescue her, the time you confessed your feelings for her to me my heart nearly broke, but a while later when you and Gwen were asleep Lancelot and talked about the two of you, we both decided that the only thing that mattered to us was that the two of you were happy..._

_And when someone asked me whether I didn't despise life for being in love with someone I could never have...and I thought about that really hard, you were treating me like crap that day and my thoughts were heading down a very dark and dangerous road...but then you asked me whether I was fine and you smiled that beautiful smile of yours which can light up a dark room and you saved my day..._

_When I met the same guy again a couple of days later I was just mucking out the stables and he asked me again and I answered that it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all..._

_And I said that because I thought it was the truth...all the things that you brought into my life are worth every price I might be asked to pay..._

_And if I have to give my life for you I will happily do so because you are the one who made my life worth living. Thank you for everything and don't you ever forget how much I care about you..._

_I know you must be upset about me leaving with Gwaine and you have every right to but please believe that I just did this to protect you...You would have insisted on tagging along, but Camelot need you more than ever..._

_You will have to prove that you are the strong leader that I think you are..._

_Please be aware that it nearly killed me to say all those horrible things I said to you, each new word feeling like a burning knife being stabbed into my heart..._

_I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me and lead a happy life with wife and children..._

_Forever yours in heart and soul_

_Merlin_

_Oh and Arthur, I told Morgana to take my lace and make sure that you don't turn into that selfish, arrogant narcissistic prat that I met so long ago..._

_Please please take care of yourself and try to keep an open mind towards all things and people and do not judge as overhastedly as your father does..._

_Be safe..._

Arthur stared at the letter in his hand reading it again and again until the realization dawned on him. Merlin was gone and he might never come back. Finally all those unshed tears which had been burning a hole into his soul resurfaced and he felt the tears falling from his eyes.

xxXxxXxxXxx

After sitting at the lake for a long while reading the letter again and again Arthur finally decided to head back as he noticed how deep the sun had already gone. He rode back, leaving Valor for the servants so they would take care of him.

As me made his way over the courtyard he suddenly heard a loud cry of terror.

"Prince Arthur duck!"

And Arthur did, his surpreme reflexes showing as he swivelled around, drawing his sword as he let himself fall to the ground looking at a the giant spider who had been attacking him but had been stopped by Gwaine jst in time.

Merlin glanced up at him in surprise

"Thank you Gwaine."

"Sure thing, Merlin woud kill me if he came back and fund out something had happened to you...he would kill me...I'm not ready to take that chance."

Arthur smile that looking down at the spider was 3 times as big as the one's from the morteaus flower cave. His smile turned into a frown as he noticed that the now dead animal had carried a message. He motioned towards Gwaine to give him cover as he took the papersheet. There was nothing on it.

He almost huffed and nearly throwing the thing away when suddenly a message appeared. It was a shirt one but it made the blood in Arthur's veins freeze and from what he saw Gwaine was just as shocked as they both stared on the written words...

_Pendragon, your days are numbered and your end is near. You will pay for all the crimes you commit it and we will send all those loyal to you with you...This was just a small demonstration for what is going to hit you there is still muc more and worse to come...You will go down...!_

"Creepy" Arthur muttered, but the look on Gwaine's face told him that he had to be more serious about this...this was what Merlin had feared all along...

"Oh crap..." he hissed as he stared at the hateful message...

xxXxxXxxXxx

/Merlin...wake up.../ The dragon was confused. He knew what had happened and he was now at the cave to get the young warlock but there was no trace of him being alive or dead.

/Merlin...where are you...?/ Still no answer.

/ The enemies have made their first move, we have to be quick or the prince of Camelot will die...!/

Suddenly very deep into the darkest place of the magic caves something stirred there was a greenish gold flash of light brightening the whole cave powerful enough that the dragon sensed it...

* * *

**Chapter End Notes: So that was this...I hope you enjoyed reading it, reviews are always very welcome :D**

**I really hope that the next chapter will be up sooner...**

**Thank you for reading :D**


	7. World On Fire

**Chapter Notes: This is chapter 7 of the story and I hope you'll like it :D**

**Thanks to those of you who took their time to review you really inspire me and keep me going :D**

**I think without the reviews as motivation I might not have gotten this far with this story which would have been sad cause it's really grown on me so thank you :D**

**But now enough with the senseless rambling and on with the story ;D**

**

* * *

**/Kilgarrah...? Where am I?/

/You are somewhere in the cave of the staff of compassion...Did you manage to obtain the staff?/

/I.../

Deep down in the cave Merlin frowned as he tried to remember what had happened. As he looked around and found the slightly glowing staff next to him he suddenly remembered.

"Arthur..." he muttered...a warm surge of affection rushing to him. Arthur wasn't mad at him. He had forgiven him for his lies and betrayal. Arthur even cared enough for him to use their bond and get to him even without being a sorcerer. He smiled lightly.

/Young warlock? The kingdom and the young prince are in danger. Athelear und Xigarrah have already made their first move./

Merlin jumped up at that.

/How do I get out of here?/

That question took the wise dragon aback.

/You are a powerful warlock. You have the staff of compassion and since you're not dead yet that should mean you should be able to handle it. Think of something!/

/Hey...!/ Merlin shouted at the dragon mentally but the great beast had shut down on him.

'Now that's just great. What use is it to have an old and supposedly wise dragon by your side if he cannot help you when you actually need him?' he thought angrily.

He looked over to the staff. It glowed in a faint green light. It was still just as beautiful as the second Arthur and him had found it. As he reached out for it he was suddenly afraid. What if the staff would reject him? What if it would kill him? In that case, they would be better off with him and his magical powers without the thing rather than with him trying to get it and die in the process.

He thought of the things he had seen when Kilgarrah had taken him to the hideout of Athelear and the others. They were very strong and very dangerous all the intelligence of Lancelot, the strength of Gwaine and the courage of Arthur wouldn't save them from the powerful villains.

He thought of Arthur. The beautiful smile that light up the darkest hour, his strong presence that would fill every room he entered. His unbelievably handsome physique, the well trained body, the bright blond hair and the pretty face that made every woman and a fair share of men fall heads over heels for him. He thought of his voice, that could make people shiver in fear or give comfort to grieving families. Merlin thought of the personality of his lover, the royal prat on the outside combined with a compassionate heart that made him set out to help people that usual royals treated like dirt. He thought of all the things that they had shared and he felt tears falling from his eyes as he thought that he would never see Arthur again.

He looked at the staff and took in the green glow. It reminded him of Arthur's eyes. The blazing emerald eyes that could convey so many emotions. They burned with anger whenever he thought that someone had done injustice to a defenceless person. They lightened up every time he smiled or laughed. They could show hatred towards his enemies, but the most prominent thing on his memory was the love that they always showed when they were alone together or the affectionate amusement that they betrayed every time Merlin tripped over something in public.

And while his thoughts drifted off to his lover he didn't notice that the staff moved towards his hand by its own volition. Merlin decided that he had to try and get the staff, for Arthur just the second it connected with his hand. He was pulled out of his reverie by the increasing glowing of the staff and the warm feeling that flooded him.

/Kilgarrah?/ he called out, panicking.

/What is it young warlock?/ came the slightly impatient reply.

/The staff I touched it. Now it's glowing stronger and there is this feeling.../

/This...feeling? What feeling?/ The dragon asked nonplussed.

/Well.../ Merlin blushed struggling for a way to explain /Let's say, it's warm and pleasant and fulfilling and...it feels like.../ he stopped. He could hardly tell the dragon that it was close to the warm and fuzzy feeling he got every time he was around his prince, if though not quite as strong.

The great dragon chuckled. He was aware of the things that the young warlock didn't want to tell him. But right now that did not matter. He knew what the feeling meant. It meant that the staff would be the more powerful in Merlin's hands than it had ever been before because it did not only have its own magic and Merlin's powers but it was now fuelled by the love between the prince and the warlock.

'Athelear will not know what hit him' though the dragon. But at beyond the feeling of pride at the thought that they would be able to save Camelot was fear and regret. If Merlin would be forced to use the staff of compassion directly against the staff of mercilessness the young love would come to a bitter and sudden end. He only hoped that it would never come to that.

/The feeling is a sign that the staff accepted you. You have to find a way out of the cave Merlin. Arthur and your friends will not be able to fight Athelear and Xigarrah off for long without your help./

As he was reminded of that Merlin suddenly became serious. He tried to assess his surroundings but it was too dark. He concentrated on conjuring up light, but he didn't have to do anything. As soon as he finished his thought the staff responded with a bright glow.

"What on earth...?" Merlin mumbled staring at the staff in surprise. He decided to try something and he concentrated on wanting the light to dim. And it worked. Then he willed the light back on the staff. After that he started grinning and used the staff to move a giant rock.

"Wow..." he grinned. This was not hard at all. The staff was acting like his magic had when he was a kid. Before he had started to use spells. It wasn't as hard for him as it must have been for others who were used to using spells. It was like his second nature. For the first time in a while he was positive that he could actually do this. That he could save Camelot and Arthur and maybe get away with his life in the process.

He smiled and focussed his thoughts on his love to Arthur for a moment 'Arthur...I'm coming for you...I promise...'

xxXxxXxxXxx

Back in his room in Camelot, Arthur was nearly standing upright in his bed.

"Merlin?" he asked into the darkness while he tried to make out the form of his lover. But he wasn't there.

'I could have sworn...' he was sure he had heard Merlin calling for him. For a second back there he had felt the warmth that he always felt when he was close to the raven haired boy. He had felt his presence so clearly as if he had been standing right next to him. But he wasn't here.

Arthur sighed and slumped back down onto his pillow.

'Oh Merlin...I know everyone is thinking you're gone...but I don't believe that...I can still feel you...You're not here...I know...but I can still feel you...I know you're out there...I know you'll come back to me...I just hope you'll be ok...I just hope you know how much I love you...'

xxXxxXxxXxx

And Merlin did. He could feel the love that Arthur projected on him. And as he revelled in the strength of their connection, wishing for nothing more than to be able to get to Kilgarrah so he could get back to Arthur the staff started to bathe the cave in a blazing green light and suddenly Merlin was staring up at the giant dragon that stared down on him.

"How did you do this?"

"How did I do that?"

The two of them asked in the same moment, which caused Merlin to laugh and the dragon to chuckle in amusement.

"Well..." Merlin panted when he caught himself a little "How did I do that?"

"I do not know young warlock. What exactly have you been doing before you came to stand in front of me?"

The dragon asked incredulous.

"I...erm...I did nothing." Merlin stated looked at the staff in his hand now glowing faintly green.

"It must have been the staff, I just tried some things with it you know? Trying to get used to it, but it turned out that wasn't necessary, it works just fine."

The dragon looked down at the young boy in wonder. He could feel the power radiating off the warlock and the staff. He had heard stories of the magic that the staff of compassion possessed, and all of them had been pretty definite on the point on the staff being very tough to handle, just as tough as its counterpart was on Athelear.

But as it turned out the boy was a natural. It was really stunning what he was capable of. He had always known that he was destined for great things and that he was capable of doing things other people couldn't even imagine. But that was not what this was about. It was not his superior strength or his greater powers or skill that allowed him to handle the staff like this. It was his heart.

The staff had always before been used to defeat his counterpart, only for that purpose, regardless of what the costs were. But that was not what Merlin intended. He had not picked up the staff with the primary intention to stop Athelear. No. He had taken it with the intention of protection Camelot his friends and, more than anything else, Arthur. That was why the staff was so easily handled by the young one.

"Come on now young warlock, we have a long journey ahead of us and even if we hurry we won't reach Camelot before Xigarrah and Athelear. We can only hope we will be there in time to stop the worst from happening."

Merlin climbed up on the dragon's back with a determined expression. They would have to hurry, it was true. He would not let Arthur face this alone. He would not let that happen. Never.

'Arthur, do you hear me? I will be there I promise. I'm coming for you as fast as I can.'

xxXxxXxxXxx

When Arthur woke up in the next morning he felt a lot better than he had in a while. For a reason he could not explain he was sure that Merlin was alright and coming for him.

He ate his breakfast with his father and went out to exercise his knights. When a messenger closed in on them toppling over and landing at his feet he just stared at the man nonplussed as said began to stutter.

"Sire...please...help...fire...so many...a dragon...ugh..." the man broke down and Arthur motioned his knights to go and get Gaius while he rushed for the council chambers where his father was having a meeting with some members of the wealthiest families of Camelot. He barged in without knocking having all face turned on him.

"Arthur what in the...?" the king started angrily but Arthur cut him off.

"We are being attacked father. A man, he saw a dragon attack his village. I have no doubt that they are headed straight for us. We have to do something. NOW! I will prepare the knights and the castle for battle. You make sure that the people who can't fight have a safe place to stay!"

With that he turned on his heels and rushed out of the room, not caring what his father had to say to this. He knew what he had to do. But his father had no objections. Neither had the others. He had spoken with a sense of authority that had shown the strong king he would be one day and none of them was about to question that.

Arthur ran for Gaius' chambers, telling every knight he came across to prepare for battle and pass on that command.

"Gwaine, Lancelot are you here?" he yelled rushing into the physician's chambers knowing that Gaius would be out on the field to see after the young man that had delivered the horrible message.

"I am her, where's the fire?" came the startled reply by Gwaine who, not unlike Merlin every time he yelled for him, nearly fell down the stairs from his chambers in his hurry to get down.

"It has started." The prince answered, knowing he would not have to explain any further.

"Get Lancelot, I'm going to need the two of you to throw yourselves into armour, I'll need you on the battlefield."

For once in his life Gwaine didn't decide to give a witty retort or protest against being ordered around. He looked at Arthur and saw the great future king that he knew Merlin had seen in Arthur as well. And he remembered the words in Merlin's letter. He would help Arthur to become the king Merlin told him he could be.

He just nodded and Arthur held out his hand to him. Gwaine stared at it surprised for a moment but then he took it.

"For Merlin." he said.

"For Merlin" Arthur agreed before he rushed out of the room to go and out on his own armour.

Gwaine rushed towards Gwen's hut where he knew Lancelot would be. He and the other warrior had become increasingly close over the past days and he knew that Lancelot was completely in love with Gwen and vice versa. He was happy for the two of them and he was sure they would make a great couple but right now there were more important things to take care of.

Arthur was busy changing into his armour, carefully tucking the necklace with the ring from Merlin under his chainmail, as his gaze fell on his pillow, where Merlin's neckerchief lay. He looked at it for a moment, not stopping to put on his armour.

He was doing it himself, like he had been doing almost all of his tasks by himself lately. He didn't especially like it, but he could still remember the hurt in Merlin's eyes back when they had still been happy, not anticipating the trouble that was out to get them, back when they had talked about their relationship.

_Flashback_

"_Arthur, about that. I have…I would like to…Can't I just stay your manservant?"_

_Arthur turned him around and he saw something in the other man's eyes that he didn't understand and it made his stomach sink._

"_Why?" he simply answered, carefully assessing Merlin's facial expression._

"_Because I really liked the way things were and I don't want them to change. All bad aspects aside being your manservant has been a great pleasure to me and I would not willingly want to give this up to someone else…I really don't even want to think about anyone else always being by your side no matter where you go while I am off god-knows-where running errands for Gaius…I just don't. But I understand if you wish for another servant…"_

_End Flashback_

He would never wish for another manservant. Never wish for another to be always by his side. And so he did most of his stuff alone, waiting for Merlin to return.

When he was finished with putting on his armour he tied his swordbelt with his sword around his waist while he walked towards the bed, picking up the neckerchief. He sighed, holding it in his hands. Then in a sudden surge of sentimentality he took it and tied it around the wrist of his swordarm.

'This is for you Merlin' he thought as he stepped outside joining his knights in the courtyard. They were intent on moving towards the enemy, stopping them before they would actually reach the city. They had no detailed information on the attackers other than they were accompanied by a dragon.

Arthur was aware that charging in without knowing what'd be expecting them was not the wisest choice of action, but if there was a dragon they had to stop it from getting to close to the castle.

Suddenly he felt someone tucking at his arm.

"What?" he snapped, turning around seeing Gwaine and Lancelot motioning him to come with them.

"What is it?" he demanded to know.

"Well you know, Lancelot and I we have been with Merlin for a while and we knew some stuff about the enemy's army that you might find useful to know." Gwaine snapped back at him.

Arthur nodded realizing the truth behind the words. His knights were not all ready yet anyways.

"Ok then shoot."

"The army is led by a powerful sorcerer who carries a weapon that Merlin had to go on a quest to find a way to stop for. He travels with a dragon as his partner and it is even bigger and stronger than the one who attacked you before. And far more vicious as well..." Gwaine went on, shuddering at the thought of an outraged Kilgarrah. If that dragon was already that intimidating he didn't really want to know what the other, supposedly stronger dragon looked like.

"We don't know how many men his army has, but that doesn't matter, I'm sure your knights can take them. The sorcerer and the dragon will be the problem. Without Merlin we will really have a hard time to fight them off."

Arthur wondered what that remark meant, but he didn't interrupt Gwaine as he went on.

"It would be stupid to move all knights from the castle. The dragon is sure to attack here. You should leave some men to take on the dragon. Not too many, just ones with enough skill to take him on and keep his busy. I will stay here." Gwaine finished looking at the magical sword in his hands.

"I will stay here and watch Gwaine's back." Lancelot continued. They had the magical weapons and the best chance to take on Xigarrah. Arthur knew that they were right and he smiled wryly as Lancelot continued.

"If we take care of the dragon there is still an army and a sorcerer to worry about. You should let the majority of your men concentrate on taking on the army in the forest, provided they know their way around there. And a few of your men should be distracting the sorcerer until we can think of a way to get rid of him."

"Ok so far..." Arthur said as they finished "But how do I fit into that picture?"

"Stay safe in your room so nothing will happen to you and Merlin won't kill me?"

"What? No way. I'm fighting!"

"Figures" Gwaine said. "Fine then you'll have to decide which group you want to join."

"I'll go with the group that will face the sorcerer." he answered plainly making Gwaine and Lancelot sigh.

"Yeah, we figured you would. Take care."

A short while later Arthur had broken the plan to his knights and they had decided upon the groups. And a short while later they were all assuming their positions. They could hear screams and see fire and smoke in some of the outlying villages around the forest. And they knew that the enemy could not be that far away.

And it happened exactly as Gwaine and Lancelot had predicted. The giant dragon, Arthur swallowed hard as the gigantic beast flew over his head, it really was bigger than the other one. However, it positioned itself right over the castle, staring to attack it the same second as the warriors were confronted by the knights.

But Arthur and the 5 men he had taken with him faced another threat. There on the clearing where Arthur had fought the other dragon a lone figure appeared in the shadows of the trees. He was clad in black and red and he held a staff in the same colours. It reminded Arthur of the staff he had seen in his dream with Merlin but it was also very different. It was less subtle, less beautiful but that for a lot more impressive...or pompous if he were to describe it.

It had a very unsettling red glow to it and the man carrying it...Arthur looked at him and he felt chills going down his spine. He didn't show any outward signs of fear, knowing that he had to seem strong if he wanted to keep his knights in line.

But the man just stood there, facing the 6 of them with expressionless red glowing eyes. His long white hair and his pallor were a strange difference to his dark attire. But the most disconcerting thing was that he didn't move. None of him did. His hair did not move in the wind, he did neither blink nor flinch.

Arthur motioned his men to ready their crossbows, not letting the strange man out of his sight. Without a word all of them settled to fire. Arthur, not carrying a crossbow pulled out his sword. It wasn't really because it could do any harm to the sorcerer from this distance but he immediately felt how his men tensed up, ready to join their prince into the fight when he told them to.

"Hold your fire." he whispered as the sorcerer lifted the staff, its red glow becoming increasingly strong.

Suddenly the red light dashed out dealing them a blow that knocked them all a good 3 meters back on the floor. As Arthur scrambled to his feet, trying to make out the position of his knights he suddenly noticed in terror that the sorcerer was now standing almost right in front of him.

Arthur felt himself lifted into the air by an invisible force. Struggling to get free he suddenly felt something crushing on his windpipe with increasing force. The white haired sorcerer pointed the staff at him and started to speak.

"Arthur Pendragon. Finally you will pay for the crimes that your father committed. Fortune has let me directly to you. Prepare to die..."

xxXxxXxxXxx

Merlin urged the dragon to go as fast as he could and was very baffled when he stopped mid air as Camelot came in sight. He was about to scold him when the dragon started to speak.

"Young warlock, whatever happens, do not use the staff of compassion directly against the staff of mercilessness. Or you will die. Do not use the staff to stop blows which have been dealt by its counterpart, that too will cause your death. Be very careful what you do, Athelear is very powerful and he is far more experienced than you. Be careful."

Merlin suddenly had a lump in his throat. The beast had really grown onto him during this and he was sad at the thought that this might be their final goodbye.

"I promise I will be careful. Oh and Kilgarrah...?" he continued, stopping the dragon that was picking up pace again. The dragon shot him a questioning look. "Promise me to take care of yourself. Gwaine and Lancelot will be there to aid you and you are a lot quicker and more manoeuvrable than Xigarrah but he is a lot bigger and a lot stronger. So please be careful."

The dragon's eyes softened visibly at this and he nodded his head before he started flying towards the attacked castle. As the overflew the clearing Merlin could see Arthur on the floor with Athelear in front of him and he jumped off the dragon's back, waving goodbye to him as the dragon continued his way to join Gwaine and Lancelot in fighting Xigarrah.

xxXxxXxxXxx

"Prepare to die..." Arthur could see how the end of the staff was glowing dangerously close to his face now and he closed his eyes anticipating the mortal blow.

'I'm sorry Merlin...I failed you.'

And the blow came, but it was different from what he had expected. He fell to the floor and had the air knocked out of him. As he opened his eyes he gasped.

"Not so fast." Merlin said, standing in front of Arthur in a protective stance, the staff of compassion readily raised pointing at Athelear who had been knocked to the side by Merlin's blow.

"You will not harm the prince as long as I'm around."

Arthur just stared for a moment, taking in the whole situation. There was a second dragon now looking dangerously similar to the one he had killed, or Merlin had told him he had killed, fighting with the dragon that attacked the castle. The sorcerer looked at his new opponent with an undisguised hatred which took Arthur aback. The white haired man got back on his feet assessing the two of them his hand firmly gripping his staff.

But all of this was beside the point as he took in the person standing right in front of him. The person that had saved him was holding the staff of compassion and it was glowing in a faint green light as if to challenge the red staff. The boy who held it turned his head and looked at the young prince. The eyes of the raven haired boy were glowing in a greenish gold but they had a gently expression as they looked at the prince.

"I told you I would not let any harm come to you." the boy said when Arthur just stared at him.

"Merlin...?"

* * *

**Chapter End Notes: That's it for chapter 7 guys I hope you enjoyed this :D**

**Please Review :D**


	8. Shattered

**Chapter Notes: This is Chapter 8...**

**Bring on the battle...There are several different angles in this one, it's me trying to make the battle a little more...erm...concrete...? Ehem**

**To ariacle: Thank you for your review, I hadn't even noticed about the Gwaine/Lancelot typo :D Must have been my ****subconsciousness**** kicking into motion there :D **

**Yes I have seen the episode and I even know the channel :D **

**I really hope that they'll get back to Merlin as the center of attention soon, the show is called Merlin not Arwen after all…I don't dislike Arwen but there has been an overdose of it lately at the cost of pairing I greatly prefer…Let's see where that's headed :D**

**To those of you who reviewed, thanks again, this really is what keeps me going... ;D**

**Ok enough of me already... ;D**

**Here's the chapter :D**

**

* * *

**

"Merlin?" Arthur asked in wonder staring at the boy in front of him.

"Yes Arthur, it's me, I came back. Just as I promised I would." Merlin replied, his attention back on the sorcerer who was now on his feet.

Arthur looked at him in disbelief. Merlin was a sorcerer. He waited for the feeling of betrayed trust to come, but all there was was love and gratefulness.

'He came. He kept his promise. He came for me'

That was all Arthur could think right now. It didn't matter that Merlin had magic, it didn't matter what he was. To Arthur it only mattered that he was alive and with him and who he was. He was Merlin. His truest friend and the one his heart belonged to. With or without magic that didn't change a thing.

Merlin was carefully assessing his surroundings. The knights Arthur had brought along didn't even stir. He didn't think they were dead but for all intents and purposes that didn't matter 'cause if they were just unconscious they would be just as much help as if they were dead.

He looked at Athelear. The man looked scary, he had to admit that. He had to find a way to get Arthur and his men out of harm's way. He could hear the dragons roaring and he hoped that Kilgarrah had found his friends and that they were doing ok. He had to find away to incapacitate Athelear without having to use his staff directly against the other. He figured that he would just have to resort to his own magic and hope that there would be a solution presented to him sooner or later.

"Arthur," he said half facing his friend. "I got this." Merlin saw that some of the knights were waking up. Good. "You go take your men and help the others fight against the army. They need you."

"No way. I am not leaving you here." Arthur protested.

"Oh how adorable. So this is the little pet sorcerer of the king's son. You will not have to argue, I will just kill you both." With that Athelear lifted his staff and sent a blow towards them. Merlin managed to divert its course.

This got him an angry glare of Athelear and a surprised look of Arthur.

"Arthur I said go, I got your back. Take you man and leave, with you here I cannot fully use my powers so please just go."

Arthur looked into the pleading eyes and he nodded reluctantly.

"Fine" he answered motioning towards his knights, instructing them to retreat.

Soon the clearing was empty save for Merlin and Athelear who was very upset because Merlin had stopped each and every single of his attempts at killing Arthur or following the knights. Now that they were gone his attention turned to the raven haired boy entirely.

"You dare to stand between me and my mission? For that I will let you suffer and die in pain!" he yelled in a threatening voice.

Merlin knew he had to make him angry to make sure he would become unfocussed, starting to make mistakes.

"Oh yeah...you think you can do that? Dream on. There's no way you could defeat me!"

xxXxxXxxXxx

"Lancelot look out he's right over you!" Gwaine yelled to his friend who was standing probably 15 meters away from him on the wall of Camelot. Xigarrah who had been attacking the castle walls furiously, thankfully without doing too much damage. But the village was burning and people were screaming.

It was horrible. They didn't stand a chance against the giant beast. He and Lancelot had positioned themselves on the castle wall, waiting for the right moment to strike. They had managed to cause minor injuries on the dragon but only at great risks for themselves and they had only made the dragon attack more furiously.

Now the giant beast was about to take Lancelot apart with one blow of his claws as they heard a familiar roaring and Kilgarrah appeared over the castle.

"Kilgarrah...!" Lancelot and Gwaine both yelled, relieved, while the people in the castle called in terror.

"Oh no there is another...We are lost!"

Uther looked at the scene in terror. The two warriors that he knew we're supposed to be banished from Camelot, had Arthur brought them back? They were fighting a dragon and suddenly there was another dragon who seemed to be on their side.

Kilgarrah positioned himself protectively over the two fighters, indicating them to climb on his back.

"Kilgarrah...!" the older dragon roared. "Why did you betray us? Do you not remember the crimes that the people of Camelot did commit?"

Kilgarrah just glared at him.

"Trust me I do remember. I don't think that I will ever be able to forget what has happened." His voice throbbed with hatred as he thought of the many dragons, dragonlords and sorcerers Uther had killed in his blind rage against something he could not begin to understand.

"Why do you protect them then?" came the challenging reply.

"Because" Kilgarrah roared, manoeuvring himself into a better attacking position "Because there are a lot of good people in Camelot" as he said that images of Gwaine, fighting for his best friend without fear of the consequences, Lancelot following the path he knew was the right one regardless of the setbacks he had to endure, Arthur, the righteous young prince, so full of courage and passion to protect those who needed protection and last but not least, Merlin. The young warlock, more powerful than most people could imagine, but so forgiving, caring and compassionate.

Thinking of them made him realize with full force that he was doing the right thing, no matter what Uther had done. No matter the crimes the old ones did commit. There was a new era coming and the young ones leading it did deserve his protection.

"There are a lot of good people in Camelot and they do not deserve to be punished for crimes committed by a blind king and his followers!"

"So you choose their side then?" the older dragon challenged.

Kilgarrah looked at Gwaine and Lancelot who were now placed on his back. He used all the power he had to contact them in their telepathically. It wasn't as easy as it was with Merlin who he shared a mental connection with but it was surprisingly simple.

/You have to listen. I will try to coax him out of his defences, make him become reckless. We will have to get him away from over the castle. After we managed that you will have to jump on his back and attack him on his wings and throat. He is extremely strong, far stronger than me. Being strategic is our only chance. Got that?/

The two of them just nodded in agreement stunned at the sensation of having a talking dragon in their heads.

"Yes!" Kilgarrah answered the other dragon out aloud.

"Then you will go down with them!" Xigarrah roared, preparing to attack.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Gaius, Gwen and Morgana were in the caves beyond the courtyard tending to the injured people. The heard the news of a second dragon taking part in the fight. Morgana and Gwen were terrified but Gaius dared to hope. Maybe it was Merlin's dragon. Maybe that meant that Merlin was alive and back in the game.

As another blow hit the castle he held on tight to that hope, because at the moment, cut off from the world above, just getting news whenever a new injured villager stumbled into the cave half dead, that was all he had.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur followed his knights to the general direction of the battle, but when they had almost reached the others he saw a red lightning bolt crash down on the clearing, followed by an explosion that shook the earth they were standing on.

"Merlin...!" he called alarmed.

His knights looked at him, anticipating his orders. He stared at them for a moment. Merlin had told him he could handle this. But he didn't know that. What if Merlin had just said that to get him out of harm's way? But what if he hadn't? His knights waited patiently for him to lead the way but as another explosion sounded from the general direction of the clearing where he had left Merlin he made his decision.

"You," he shouted at his knights. "Go and help the others. You have to stop that army from reaching the village!"

"But sire...!" Sir Leon protested.

"I said go!" Arthur ordered and this time no one dared to protest. They could all see the fire in his eyes and they knew there was no arguing with their future king. So they left him behind, heading towards the battle sounds, while Arthur turned around, rushing towards the clearing.

'Merlin,' he thought with all the force he could muster 'I won't let you do this alone you hear? Whatever threat I had to face, even if I told you I had to do it alone' he thought furiously thinking of his quest or the time with the unicorn 'You always came and had my back. Now it's my turn to have yours!'

xxXxxXxxXxx

Merlin panted heavily. This wasn't good. He had to think of something soon, otherwise he would end up roasted, or worse. Athelear was attacking with full power, obviously unaware of the effect that it would have should he hit the staff of compassion.

Merlin used his magic to protect him while he used the staff to have rocks and trees and the ground under Athelear's feet betray him. But his plan didn't really work. He was getting tired and he knew Athelear could sense that.

He was about to just use the staff and put an end to this as he sensed Arthur closing in.

"No..." he mouthed silently, distracted for a split second only, but it was enough for Athelear to hit him with full force. Merlin was blown off his feet, the staff of compassion falling out of reach.

Merlin felt dizzy and his vision was blurry as he lifted his face to look at the old sorcerer, staring at him with hateful eyes. He averted his eyes, looking at the burning castle, vaguely seeing the shape of two dragons in the air somewhere around it.

He heard their roaring and the clanging of metal and the screams of the fighting knights. They were all fulfilling their part, only he had failed them.

'I'm sorry' he thought at all of them 'I'm really sorry Arthur.'

He looked up at the other sorcerer, red glowing eyes boring into his green-gold ones and he held the hateful gaze.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Kilgarrah and the others had managed to lure Xigarrah away from the castle, making sure that he was preoccupied with chasing them so he wouldn't attack the castle or rush to aid Athelear.

The two warriors had jumped on the back of the terrifying beast, using their magical weapons to injure the dragon, they worked, unlike most normal weapons. Unfortunately for them it did not do nearly enough harm to stop him but it helped a great deal in making him more and more aggressive.

"Gwaine!" Lancelot shouted to the warrior who was currently trying to get to the head.

"What? I don't know if you noticed but I am kind of busy right now!"

"This isn't gonna work! We have to think of something else!"

"You just figured that out? Wow great job..." Gwaine stopped as he nearly lost his balance and fell off the dragon before he managed to hang on to a spike on the back, climbing back up before he answered. "So, where is your great plan?"

"I really don't have one!" the other knight answered as Kilgarrah once again attacked to keep the other dragon from getting closer to the castle and the village again.

"Yeah figures. So what do we do now?"

"Duck!" Kilgarrah roared just before he breathed his fire over the other dragons back.

"Hey!" the two warriors screamed in unison as the younger dragon reappeared next to them.

"I discovered a weak spot, I had to take it on!" he answered, before he got back into battling position.

The two warriors knew he was right and they noticed that they were finally getting somewhere. Attacked form three directions the older dragon started to get tired. The three of them had been injured, low degree burns, scratches and bruises on the warriors' side and a large cut over the shoulder for Kilgarrah. But they had known the odds and it looked a lot better for them then they would have expected.

Suddenly something changed and the other dragon howled desperately. He shook them off, just Kilgarrah's quick reaction keeping them from ending up as a smashed puddle on the ground.

"What the...?" Gwaine started but the terrified look in the dragon's eyes cut him off.

Kilgarrah placed them on the floor and set after the older dragon, catching him midway to the clearing.

"Merlin..."Gwaine surmised looking at the two dragons with growing tension.

"Please be ok." He pleaded as he saw a blast of green and red light in the direction where the clearing was.

Lancelot just got up putting one hand on Gwaine's shoulder.

"He'll be ok I'm sure. Kilgarrah won't let Xigarrah interfere and...and I am sure Arthur is with Merlin."

Gwaine glanced up at his new friend and he could in his eyes that he wanted to calm himself down just as much as he wanted to reassure Gwaine.

xxXxxXxxXxx

"The dragons are moving away!" someone in the cave yelled.

Gwen ran over to Gaius who had stopped working, just staring into the void, as if he was trying to see what was happening up there.

"Gaius, what does this mean?" the terrified maidservant asked him.

"I do not know my child." He answered, thoughts clouded with worry about his ward and the young prince who he was sure were outside now fighting the battle of their lives.

"I do not know."

xxXxxXxxXxx

Uther Pendragon was staring down at his burning kingdom and he asked himself if this was really his fault. The dragon had said so. All these many people suffering and dying because of him? He looked at the forest, desperately wishing for a sign of his son.

Arthur had not talked to him after he had given the orders to prepare for an attack. If his son died now, he would never know how proud Uther was of him. He had led his man into this battle, which wasn't even his, had decided to leave the safe walls of the castle to protect those who couldn't protect themselves.

As he looked at the blow of green and red light, somewhere from the forest he couldn't help but hope that his courage and compassion wouldn't make Arthur pay for a mistake that his father had made.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur was now standing in the shadow of the trees watching the two sorcerers warily. It was already getting dark, they had been fighting for longer than it had seemed to him. He knew that they couldn't see him. But he watched the scene on the clearing in horror. Merlin had just been blown off his feet, losing hold of the staff. Arthur gasped. He had to do something. He drew his sword and closed in.

Athelear walked towards Merlin.

"YOU!" he shouted at the young warlock "You dared to oppose me? You stand on the side of Uther and his son? You betrayed all magic and you are not worthy of your powers. You will die!"

Merlin looked around helplessly. The staff of compassion was not that far away, just barely out of his reach. He scrambled up, slowly getting into a defensive crouch on the floor. If he could only get to the staff. On eaimed leap and he could end all of this.

Athelear pointed his staff at the raven haired boy, the glowing increasing.

"You should not have betrayed magic by using it to protect those monsters. The Pendragons are not worth the life of any of us!"

Merlin stared at the red glow then he closed his eyes waiting for the final blow, his whole mind fixated on projecting his love to Arthur. But the blow didn't come. As he opened his eyes in to see what had stopped the older sorcerer, he gasped in shock.

Arthur had jumped up behind the sorcerer, striking him with his sword. It had stopped him from killing Merlin, but now he turned towards the young prince with a vicious look in his eyes.

"You." he said, the staff glowing dangerously as he dealt Arthur a blow which crushed him against a tree.

The blonde boy landed with a horrible thud, slumping to the ground, not letting go of his sword. The staff glowed again and it sent a horribly powerful magical blast on its way to kill the future king.

"Arthur!" Merlin yelled and suddenly the staff of compassion was back in his hands and it sent out an powerful blow which merged with the red one, turning into a motionless blast of red and green light, before it could reach the prince.

Merlin let out a sigh of relief as he saw that Arthur was relatively unharmed, scrambling to get on his legs. But his relief didn't last long. The blast reversed its course moving towards Athelear now. The sorcerer shouted at it, trying to stop it with his staff but it was no use. He was consumed by it.

And as Athelear disappeared in the blazing light Merlin felt all his strength being drained out of him. He fell to his knees, nearly falling over entirely, but he was captured y strong arms, Arthur's concerned face over him. He could hardly see it as darkness was creeping into his vision and it became blurry.

He heard the desperate roar of Kilgarrah, so much pain in it. He heard the battle sounds, faint, as if through stupor. He knew they had won. Camelot was safe. And so was Arthur. Athelear was gone, Xigarrah had run off and the army had been fought back by Arthur's knights.

Merlin felt so weak, he could hardly concentrate on what Arthur was saying.

"Merlin, talk to me please. Merlin!" Arthur sobbed, cradling Merlin in his arms. He could see that the greenish gold glow in Merlin's eyes was slowly diminishing, but as it did Merlin's strength seemed to do so as well. He couldn't find any injuries, well minor ones but nothing that could cause such an abrupt downfall. He was terrified. He could tell that Merlin was dying and he didn't know what to do.

Merlin forced his eyes to open so he could see Arthur's face. He tried to muster up a smile, but he failed miserably.

"Arthur,..." he said, his voice hoarse. "It had to be done."

Arthur just shook his head refusing to hear the truth behind these words, refusing to seeing the truth that was right in front of him. He just knelt on the meadow holding the dying warlock in his arms. He did not even notice the sound of the incoming dragon.

He could hear the noises of the battle. He could tell that Camelot was safe. Once again they had made it. But as he looked at the diminishing glow in Merlin's eyes his heart cried in vain.

xxXxxXxxXxx

It started to rain as night came over them, just a few droplets at first but then the rain became very very strong, washing away the blood of the fallen warriors and putting an end to the raging fires.

The injured dragon landed on the meadow with a heavy thud, looking down at the two small humans who had just defeated the staff of mercilessness and the strongest user it had ever had.

**Chapter End Notes: So that's it...chapter 8 is not any longer...**

**Chapter 9, which will be coming soon as I hope,...will have a strict focus on the direct aftermath of the battle...**

**I hope you liked it ;D**

**Please leave a review *puppy dog eyes***


	9. Permanent

**Chapter Notes: Two chapter's in one day... now that is not bad :D**

**But I had to do this, these chapters belong closely together and since I won't be able to post anything tomorrow...well...**

**Thanks to those who already reviewed chapter 8 :D**

**You were very quick :D Thanks alot...**

**If you know the song Permanent by David Cook, I listened to it while I wrote this chapter...It really supports the mood...**

**Here goes chapter 9...enjoy... ;D**

As the dragon spread a wing over the two boys, stopping the rain from pouring down at them Arthur glared at him furiously.

"You have to do something! You can't let this happen! Please!"

Merlin shook his head, putting a hand on the side of Arthur's face.

"Hey..." he coughed weakly "prat, this is not Kilgarrah's fault. Don't...blame him..."

The dragon bowed down and nudged Merlin gently with his head. Arthur didn't even flinch at the close proximity to the giant teeth. He looked into the beast's eyes and what he saw there disturbed him greatly. His father had always taught him that all magic was evil, that the magical creatures were to be extinct. But now, holding the dying warlock in his arms and staring into the eyes of the giant dragon, eyes filled with agony and guilt, he knew his father had been wrong.

He had blamed the dragon for what had happened, because to him that had seemed the most logical conclusion. But now he knew that he had been wrong. However much hatred the dragon had for humans, it was evident that he cared for Merlin a great deal.

"Young warlock." Kilgarrah began and Merlin looked up at him, barely capable of focussing on the voice. "Camelot is safe. The Pendragon family will live on and the young prince will be able to fulfil his destiny. And that is all thanks to you."

Merlin smiled, too weak to answer he searched for their mental connection.

/You know that this is not true. I set you free now Kilgarrah, release the ties that bind you to me. You have a good heart. I hope you'll find peace and happiness./

The dragon didn't answer with words but the feelings that came through their connection told him everything he needed to know. The dragon did not intend on outliving him for all too long. He had some unfinished business in this world, but he would be right behind him. Not too long ago Merlin would have argued, but now he could feel the lonely soul inside of the dragon. The lonely soul that had found a companion in his. So he just sent him a mental message.

/I'll be waiting for you./

The dragon nodded before he jumped into the air letting out a roar so filled with grief that it brought all those who heard it to the brink of tears.

"Uther Pendragon you foolish man! This is on you! If not for your foolishness none of this would have happened! You have made a big mistake a long time ago and now good people had to pay your price! All of this is on you!"

And with that the dragon flew off into the night, leaving Camelot and all the grief he had found there as far behind him as possible.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Gwaine and Lancelot were standing in the rain as they heard the dragon's call. They both knew immediately what it meant.

"No...this can't be...Please tell me this is not true...it can't be."

Gwaine sank to his knees, not minding the dirt, not minding the cold. He felt tears mingle with the cold rain on his cheeks but he wasn't ashamed of it.

Lancelot stood ramrod straight his face betraying his emotional struggle, trying to keep himself together and miserably failing.

They had just lost a friend to the mistakes of a bitter man.

xxXxxXxxXxx

As Gaius broke down Gwen looked at him panic stricken, trying to hold him up straight until she had him sitting on a rock.

"Gaius, what is it what is wrong?" she asked, afraid as she saw the tears in the old man's eyes.

At first he didn't answer, his quiet grief deeply unsettling to the young maidservant who looked at him with concerned brown eyes. Morgana saw them and rushed over to see if she could help Gwen who was near tears as she knelt in front of the physician.

"Gwen...what is it?"

"It's Gaius he...something is wrong..."

The old physician looked into the two concerned young faces, his tears now flooding freely.

"It's Merlin...he's..." his voice broke but he didn't have to say anything more.

Gwen started to cry and Morgana pulled her into a hug, her own tears staining the clothing of her friend.

"Oh no..." she whispered "oh no..."

xxXxxXxxXxx

Uther Pendragon was staring down at his grieving kingdom and he shuddered at the dragon's words. Was this truly his fault? He refused to believe it, he was the king, it wasn't at that dragon to question him. But his thoughts wandered off to his son. Arthur was different from him. He had always known that.

His kid, born through magic. Arthur was change. He knew that. He had just always hoped that it would be a change in a way he could approve of. Tried to force Arthur into his patterns. But as it seemed the prince had found his own way.

A way he would go with his approval or without it.

Ever since that new manservant of his had appeared in Camelot Arthur had changed. He had become less arrogant, less obedient. That boy had changed his son from someone who would become a king like he wanted him to become to a person that followed his own heart and did what he thought was right.

He just hoped his son would make it out of this battle unharmed

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur was sitting on the cold and wet ground still holding Merlin with a determined look on his face. As a shudder ran through the warlock and he closed his eyes Arthur screamed.

"No...NO! Merlin I won't let this happen. I won't allow it. Don't leave me! Fight Merlin. I'm begging you."

Merlin heard the hurt in the beloved voice and he forced his eyes to open, realizing that his time was almost up. The glowing of the staff was almost gone.

"Arthur..." he whispered trailing off as he saw that Arthur had his neckerchief tied around his wrist. Tears were burning in his eyes and he allowed himself to let them fall freely. The rain would wash them away and nobody would ever know.

He tried to focus on Arthur's face and he looked into the emerald eyes. The grief he saw in them was tearing his heart apart.

"Arthur...don't..." he said as he saw that the prince was crying silent tears. "Remember what..." he took a deep breath, as Arthur lowered his head, resting his cold forehead against his "Remember what you told me...when we went to face Kilgarrah?"

Arthur remembered. He closed his eyes, the memory appearing in front of his inner eye.

"Remember?" Merlin asked weakly.

"I said...No man is worth your tears." Arthur answered in a broken voice.

"See...you're not as stupid as you...look..." Merlin responded in a futile attempt to lighten the mood.

He could see the pain he was putting Arthur through and he was angry at himself, angry at destiny...They had just found together. Why did their Journey have to end already? It wasn't fair.

Merlin struggled for breath and Arthur cried out, grabbing the staff of compassion tightly

"Please...Take me in his stead...Please...just please don't take him from me! My life means nothing without him! Please!"

But there was no response. Nothing happened. No glow, no blast, no warmth. Just him sitting in the cold rain holding Merlin. The raven haired boy was very still now. His breath was almost inaudible and he didn't cough anymore.

He just looked into Arthur's eyes. Arthur held the gaze of the now more and more blazing blue eyes. They hadn't lost their expressiveness. He bowed down and pressed his lips against Merlin's ever so slightly. Just one last time.

As he pulled back he saw the smile on Merlin's face, he saw the love in those eyes that had haunted him since the day they first met. And then he saw the pain. He couldn't take it. He knew that Merlin was just fighting this for his sake. He was causing him pain by being so selfish.

"Merlin..." he held him tightly, pulling him against his chest.

"Arthur...I'm sor..." he broke off, too weak to continue.

"No...don't be...for nothing...I am sorry...for being so selfish..." he pressed a light kiss against Merlin's neck feeling the responding shudder in his friends body.

"Go..."he said his voice breaking agin. "It's ok...you can let go...I'll take care of you..."

Arthur was telling him that it was ok, but he knew that it wasn't. The young warlock knew that the prince was telling him this so he wouldn't have to suffer any longer. The love he felt at that moment was so strong that he believed that it should make the clouds and the rain disappear.

The rain was slowing down.

Merlin felt that he was drifting off, but he had to hold on just for one more thing.

"Arthur...promise me...promise...me...that you'll be ok..." he whispered "I...love you."

His eyes drifted close and the last spark in the staff of compassion disappeared as the rain stopped completely. Arthur hugged Merlin tightly, now crying without holding back.

"Merlin...I love you too! I promise that I will become someone you can be proud of...wherever you are now."

He looked at the beloved face, now without pain. The empty blue eyes stared into the void, unseeing and he gently closed them. He kissed Merlin's forehead as the stars and the moon appeared in the sky over them and Arthur didn't move.

He just knelt on the cold wet floor holding Merlin, letting all his emotions find their way in his tears. He didn't care to hide them. Even if there would be anyone to see, he wouldn't care. He had just lost his sun, his love, all that made his life beautiful and special.

xxXxxXxxXxx

The rain had stopped and the fighting was over. The warriors and the knights were returning home to their families. Some of them had lost everything, their houses all they had possessed, but they still had their lives.

Arthur walked through the masses of people greeting each other. He passed several of his knights but he didn't even acknowledge them. He walked past Gwaine and Lancelot who had just come back as well. He didn't do as much as looking at them. He didn't see Gwen and Morgana breaking down crying as he walked post them, carrying the body of his dead best friend...his dead lover... He walked past Gaius who had been standing in the entryway of the castle and didn't look at the torn expression on the older man's face as he walked through the door, carrying Merlin into the castle.

"Arthur, you're..."

He walked right past his father who came down the stairs to greet him. He didn't acknowledge his existence. He just mode his way up to his room. He didn't notice that their looks followed him, all of them standing at the bottom of the stairs now, watching as he made his way.

They watched him in complete silence as he carried his dead friend away. They looked at him and they saw a broken soul, a half that would never again be complete now that the completing half was gone.

He didn't notice. He walked into his room laying Merlin down on his bed. His mind was numb and disconnected he didn't even realize what he was doing as he just fell into his bed next to him, just as he was, muddy wet and cold.

Emotionally and physically exhausted he just drifted away. He drifted off into a dark and lonely void and he knew there was no one who could save him from it. No one could save him from it because he did not want to be saved.

xxXxxXxxXxx

When his door opened a while later, Arthur was already too far gone to care about the incoming people that stared at the immobile young prince and the dead warlock in horror, fearing for the worst.

And on the dark clearing there was the staff of compassion. The staff of mercilessness had disappeared alongside Athelear, but the other staff was still there.

No one was around to see the staff glowing brighter and brighter as a sparkling white figure approached it slowly under the starlit sky.

**Chapter End Notes: Please don't kill me...I know it's bad but I hope you liked it anyways. Please leave a review**

**Happy-reader007: I'm sorry...thank you for your review... **


	10. One Day

****

Chapter 10: One Day

**Chapter Notes: Erm...I know some of my stuff is season 3...and I know Morgana is supposed to be evil in that...but...I just liked her so much better when she was nice so...sorry but no evil Morgana in this one :D Bear with me please :D**

**Song of this is **_**One Day **_**by**_** Trading Yesterday**_** if anyone cares to know :D**

**I want to thank those who have added this story to their favourites or alert list :D **

**Every time I get one of these notifications I am happy :D**

**And of course those who take their time and leave a review :D **

**Thank you so much :D It's thanks to you that the story did not stop after chapter 9 ;P**

**happy-reader007: Thank you for your review and sorry for making you unhappy :D :D**

**Now, enough of me and on with the story :D **

**Enjoy ;)**

**

* * *

**

Gwaine and Gaius were sitting in the royal morgue where the body of Merlin had been brought to on the king's orders. The situation was dire, Arthur had not woken up yet. However unlike last time, Gaius hoped he hadn't followed Merlin. It didn't seem likely. Arthur was running a fever and he had some injuries, mostly bad bruises and scratches, 3 cracked ribs, but nothing that would have ever stopped him before.

Once again Gaius had a theory but he wasn't about to tell the grieving family that Arthur did not not wake up because of his physical condition but because he simply didn't want to because he had lost Merlin.

xxXxxXxxXxx

In Arthur's chambers Uther was sitting next to his son's bed as Morgana came in.

"Mylord, you have to rest. The night is almost over and tomorrow you will have important business to attend to. I will make sure that someone is with Arthur all the time. I'm sure he will be up and around in no time, he's surely just exhausted he has been sick for a while after all and then all the training and fighting...He'll come around you'll see"

The king was too tired to disagree so he just said thanks and got up to leave. While he hadn't fought in this battle by himself he had been worn down emotionally by guilt. So he just nodded and got up heading towards his room.

Morgana settled down in the chair he had just left. She smiled as she thought of the reason why she had fled her chambers. Her maidservant and that extremely good looking warrior had needed a place for some alone time and she had wilfully provided it.

When her thoughts returned to Arthur her smile turned into a frown. He was completely still, didn't react to anything. It was unlike anything she had ever seen. He wasn't struggling this time, not like he had the last time. He was just lying there and only the faint movement of his chest indicated that he was still alive.

She took one of his cold hands into hers looking at her brother in concern.

"Arthur, if you hear me please come back. Merlin would never want this and you know it. Please come back."

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur couldn't hear her. He was drifting through an empty dark void. He didn't look around, he didn't try and find a way back. He just didn't want to. Why would he? He had nothing to go back to. Merlin was gone.

"Arthur? What on earth are you doing here?"

Now he was even hearing his voice...how pathetic...if Merlin could see him now...he would be so disappointed.

"Arthur...Hello? What are you doing here?"

There it was again. It even sounded exactly the same as Merlin had when he was annoyed.

"Arthur...Merlin to prince prat...why are you here?" the voice sounded a lot closer now and Arthur's head snapped up as he wanted to tell it to get lost, just to stare into blazing blue eyes.

"Merlin?"

"Arthur...it's really you. Oh no."

Arthur looked at the warlock in front of him in wonder. He knew he should be happy, hugging him, kissing him, doing something. But all he could do was sit there and stare at him.

"Merlin, am I dead?"

Merlin looked at him, then he knelt down next to the prince.

"I really should be more worried about that hopeful tone in your voice." Merlin retorted.

They just stared at each other for a second, sapphire boring into emerald. Then, exactly the same time they leaned forward and pulled each other into a tight hug.

Arthur felt hot tears falling on his tunic, but he didn't mind, his own face was wet as well.

"I thought I'd never see you again..." they both sobbed in unison which caused them to smile.

They pulled back a little, so they could look into each other's eyes.

"Ok now...why are you here?" Merlin asked him looking into his eyes with a serious expression.

"Good question...Where is here anyways?" Arthur asked back.

"Hmm...another good question. I really don't know." Merlin answered but he averted his eyes and the young prince caught up on that.

"Merlin?" He placed his hand under the warlock's chin in an attempt to make him look into his eyes "Tell me."

Merlin looked into the serious emerald eyes for a long while.

"It is the passageway to the other side. I am waiting here for Kil...someone...We will pass over together."

Arthur locked his gaze with Merlin's.

"Let me come with you."

"No...can't do that." Merlin freed himself and got away, standing with his back to the knight.

"Why?"

When the prince spoke again the young warlock could hear the hurt in the other's voice and he couldn't bear it. He had intended to send Arthur away just like that but he couldn't. He didn't know what would expect him on the other side and he couldn't handle the thought of leaving his beloved prince behind thinking he hadn't cared. So he turned around for Arthur to see the tears in his eyes.

"Merlin, what is wrong?" he asked, cradling the now sobbing boy in his arms.

"It just isn't fair." Merlin cried against his chest. "I just love you so much. Why did we just have so little time? Why?" Merlin broke off and Arthur just held him until the sobbing abated.

"Arthur." Merlin started, stopping to clear his throat "You have to go back."

"No..."Arthur protested, pulling Merlin closer to him "Please...I just can't lose you again...I just can't..."

"You have never really lost me. I was always right there."

"But what now? You just go and I have to live on alone? I can't make it without you. You make me whole. Without you I'm nothing."

"Don't be an idiot." Merlin scolded him softly, soothingly stroking the broad back. "You have everything and you are more than anyone could ever imagine. You have your family and friends. You have a responsibility towards your people. You will be the greatest king Camelot has ever had. You can do it."

"What if I don't want to? Merlin...I will miss you...you are my sun...what can I do without you."

"You know you're not talking the truth, you care about your kingdom a great deal and you care about you family. You will be alright."

"But..." Arthur drew back a little to lock his gaze with the blazing blue eyes "Merlin...I will miss you...I can't imagine life without your smile...life without you...I can't imagine going on with you gone..." the prince admitted in a whisper.

Merlin took one of his hands and placed it over Arthur's heart.

"You won't have to..." Merlin said with a serious voice "A part of me will always be right there with you as long as you don't forget me..."

Arthur swallowed hard as he laid his hand over Merlin's.

"I could never forget you Merlin...You are not in my heart..."

Merlin swallowed hard averting his eyes but Arthur made him look up back into his.

"You are my heart. Merlin...I could never forget you, as much as the sky couldn't forget the sun or the night the moon and the stars. But...I'm afraid to go back...I'm afraid to wake up with you gone...Who will tell me what to do? Who will be there when I lost all hope? Merlin I..."

The raven-haired boy brought his hand gently to the prince's lips, silencing him.

"Arthur...You don't need me anymore. You are a good person...I believe that you are able to tell what is wrong and what is right. You will do fine..."

"What if you're wrong? I'm only strong because I knew you would always back me up. I'm not as invincible as everyone thinks. I only am who I am because I had you to rely on...because you always helped me carry my burdens no matter how hard it was...I can't do this alone..."

"You won't have to." Merlin assured him, causing the intense emerald eyes to fixate on him "You have a lot of friends and people who care about you...you have your family...I know how much family means to you...You will be ok...They will all be there for you if you just allow them to. And they will need your help as well...Promise me you'll take care of Gwaine and Gaius...I do not fear for my mother or Morgana, they are very strong...I do not fear for Lancelot and Gwen, they can keep each other company...but I really fear for Gaius...he was like a father to me please take care of him..."

Arthur took in the pleading look on Merlin's face before he nodded.

"I will look after him don't you worry." He could see Merlin's expression soften with gratitude.

"And please look after Gwaine...he might act strong, and he is, in mind and body, but he is lonely...make sure he won't..." Merlin broke off not knowing what to say. He didn't want Arthur to have to look after Gwaine. But Arthur just nodded in agreement.

"Arthur...I'm sorry I shouldn't have..."

"Don't mention it...I know how much you care and I feel honoured that you trust me enough to give me that task."

"I know that it hardly seems fair to ask you that...to look out for Gwaine of all people...but he is a good person and he'll return the favour. He could become your most trusted friend...I know it is much to ask...but Arthur if anyone can manage to keep them together it's you...I know you're strong enough to do it..."

"Thanks...but you're wrong...I am not strong enough...but I will be able to do it anyways." Arthur said, cupping Merlin's face with his hands. "I will be able to do it because I will be doing it for you...and that means I will manage to get it right or die trying."

Merlin felt a smile on his face and tears in his eyes at that. But then he saw how Arthur turned his head away and hung it slightly. He made a decision right then. He might not know what would wait for him on the other side but he was Emrys...the supposedly most powerful warlock on earth...he would find a way to keep his promise...

"_Arthur I would never let anything bad happen to you."_

He had given it a long time ago, not spoken it out aloud back then, but he knew Arthur had understood.

"Arthur...I want you to know that you'll never be truly alone."

"Yeah,..."the prince responded quietly "I know, I've still got our friends"

Merlin looked at him with a sad smile.

"Yes you do, but that is not what I meant. I will be there and watch over you. Whenever the night is dark and there is but one bright star to guide you home that will be me. Whenever the warm summer rain and the warm breeze touch your skin, it will be me. Whenever a warm sunbeam makes your eyes shine in the brightest green, it will be me...Whenever you're lonely and a bird chirps a cheerful melody it will be me...I will never leave you...I will watch over you as long as you want me to."

As Merlin ended Arthur just stared at him for a moment. The prince didn't know what to say. It was a beautiful thought to have Merlin by his side, always, but it wouldn't be the same if he wouldn't be able to see those blazing blue eyes and hear the joyful laughter or bickering...'But it is better than nothing,...take what you can get young Pendragon or you will get nothing at all' a small voice in his head, sounding suspiciously similar to the dragon told him.

"Thank you Merlin...I promise to take care of Gwaine and Gaius and even Mystery...I promise I will become a king you can be proud of...because I will always carry you with me in my memories and in my heart, you are a part of me Merlin..." Arthur said.

"Just have been are and will always be a part of me Arthur...I know you will do all this...I know you can do it...I believe in you...You are the most mesmerizing person I have ever met...from the time I first saw you I have been captivated by you...I love you..." Merlin responded very quietly.

"I love you too." Arthur answered in a broken low voice.

After that both of them fell into a painful silence...they knew that the end of their time together was drawing near and both of them knew it was inevitable, but they refused to acknowledge that, just sitting in silence holding each other one last time.

As Merlin finally drew back Arthur inhaled deeply, trying to keep himself calm, but he failed as he saw the tears glistering in Merlin's eyes. He closed his eyes and shook his head in refusal to accept that this was their last goodbye. Then he opened them again, taking in the features of his beloved, eyes stopping at the brilliant sapphire eyes.

"Arthur...Close your eyes." Merlin commanded softly and Arthur complied, feeling how his tears started running down his face.

And then he felt Merlin's lips on his in a kiss that was not fuelled by uncontrollable passion or lust, it was a sweet kiss, a soft needy one. It was unbearably sweet and it nearly broke him. He knew that this was their last goodbye.

Merlin felt how his tears mingled with Arthur's as they kissed and he wished they could just stay in this moment forever, but he knew Arthur had to get back, he didn't even know how long they had been there. So he removed his lips from Arthur's leaning their foreheads together.

"I love you..." he whispered as his eyes glowed gold and Arthur was gone and Merlin was alone again. He felt as if a piece of his soul and heart had just been ripped out, but he was glad that he had been able to give the prince some closure.

His heart ached at the thought of Arthur carrying on without him, but he knew it was the best for the prince and that was all that counted. And with that he hugged his knees, sitting on the floor in the lonely darkness waiting for Kilgarrah to come and take him with him to the other side.

xxXxxXxxXxx

"Ungh..."

Arthur groaned as he woke up. He was disorientated for a moment. He had had a horrible nightmare. But thankfully enough he was awake now. He felt wretched, as if someone had tried to beat him to a pulp with a club. He was lying on his stomach and he was still wearing his armour.

'Why would I go to bed in my armour? Has that useless new manservant of mine not managed to keep me awake so I would undress? I wish Merlin was...'

His train of thought was interrupted as the memories came back with full force, almost like a physical blow to the stomach it made his eyes water and left him gasping for breath.

"Merlin..." he gasped and he felt the pain as if someone had stabbed him right into the heart as he remembered where he had been. What had happened.

"Arthur!" Someone called for him and strong hands pulled him up and shook him not so gently. "What happened? Where is he? Arthur? Snap out of it!"

The young prince gathered his composure just fast enough to stop Gwaine from slapping him with his flat hand. Arthur was about to hit him back in his rage but then he remembered Merlin's words.

"_And please look after Gwaine...he might act strong, and he is, in mind and body, but he is lonely...make sure he won't... I know that it hardly seems fair to ask you that...to look out for Gwaine of all people...but he is a good person and he'll return the favour. He could become your most trusted friend...I know it is much to ask...but Arthur if anyone can manage to keep them together it's you...I know you're strong enough to do it..." _

It was as if he could hear Merlin's voice in his head. And he was not about to disappoint him.

"Gwaine" he said in a firm voice. "Calm down...Please..." he added in a more gentle voice as he realized that the other man had been sitting next to his bed watching over him...and that in spite of the fact that he looked like crap. Arthur could tell that the warrior was about to lose it completely, but the other man complied and calmed down.

"Better." Arthur said, a weak smile on his face. "I'm sorry Gwaine...I couldn't save him...I'm really sorry."

The prince startled himself with that statement. Where had that come from? But then he realized how guilty he really felt...he had let Merlin down and now everyone had to pay the price for that. He just didn't know why he was telling Gwaine of all people. He cherished the warrior for his skill and loyalty towards Merlin but other than that.

As he looked into the sad brown eyes he suddenly realized why he had done this. Just like him Gwaine had lost more than just a friend in Merlin. He could see that Gwaine's eyes were red, and he surmised that he had been crying. Usually he would have told him that no man was worth his tears, but he couldn't in this case, not when the man they were talking about was Merlin.

Gwaine averted his eyes, getting up and turning away so Arthur could no longer see his face.

"It wasn't your fault Arth...sire. I didn't know Merlin as long as you did but if there's one thing I learned about him in that time it is that he would gladly give his life for those he cares most about...that he would gladly give anything for you...Don't blame yourself,...it wasn't your fault and taking the blame for something Merlin did out of love..."

Arthur flinched ever so slightly at that word...He hadn't told anyone yet and Merlin had kept this on the down low as well, afraid to stain Arthur's reputation...How close had these two been if Gwaine knew?

"...it would make this gesture seemed as something lesser than it is...so just don't blame yourself..."

Arthur marvelled at the words. He could see the truth in them. He stared at the dark headed warriors back and without thinking he blurted out.

"Wow...I never realized why Merlin liked you, but there's actually more to you than a joke cracking drunk with decent fighting skills and a big mouth."

Gwaine turned around, a mocking twinkle in his eyes as he answered

"Oh yeah? Decent? If I remember correctly I had to save your royal ass more than once...But well I couldn't expect a prat like you to admit that...but I got an idea on what Merlin saw in you...you've got a lot of courage and compassion for someone with your skill..." he added after a short pause, just long enough to be counted as an insult.

Arthur just huffed at that and hit the other man playfully on the shoulder. Gwaine almost grinned. The older warrior knew he had to look out for the prince and he was glad to see something of the agony disappear from the emerald eyes, although he knew that the prince would possibly never be the same light-hearted person again that he had been when Merlin...it hurt him to think that name...had still been around.

And as Gwaine gave him a hard nudge on the shoulder in return, after which they both whined "Oww" since Arthur was still sore from the tree and wearing his armour the window flew open and a whispering breeze danced around them warm and soft, before it disappeared just as suddenly as it had come.

Gwaine was nonplussed, even more so as he saw Arthur staring at the morning sky with a strange affectionate expression.

Arthur revelled in the breeze, and it swirled around him once more, ruffling his hair, the sound in his ear almost sounding laughter, before it disappeared again, leaving the window and the curtains wide open so he could see the rising sun.

'Merlin,' he thought softly, and love filled his aching heart and let him forget about the pain for a split moment 'Thank you for watching out for me...thank you for everything'

He averted his eyes and looked at Gwaine who looked at him with a worried expression. Arthur managed to muster up a smile.

"Ok...thank you for coming over, but I'd like some privacy now, I will get changed so I can go see Gaius."

"Gwaine stared at him for a moment longer before he dropped out of his reverie and retreated hastily.

xxXxxXxxXxx

A short while later Arthur knocked at the door of the court physicians chambers. As nobody answered he knocked again, then he entered.

Gaius was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room behind a desk with a pile of books, unmoving, just staring into the void. Arthur approached cautiously, able to read some of the book titles _"Resurrection 101" "Communication with souls of the deceased" "The book of shadows"_, amongst others Arthur swallowed hard. He could tell what Gaius was trying and he could not deny him that. But if his father found out there would be foul consequences and Arthur had promised Merlin to take care of the physician.

"Gaius!" he called, startling the old men so he fell of his chair with a loud thud and shot the young prince an indignant glare.

"Gaius you have to be more careful with this," he said motioning towards the book pile "If my father finds out...you know him...he knows no friends when magic is involved..."

"Can't stop...have to find a way...to bring him back..." Gaius responded curtly getting up just to start reading again.

Arthur put his hands on the book and closed it. Gaius was about to throw a fit as Arthur waved him off.

"Gaius," he said softly, knowing this would be hard. He could hardly bring himself to think of Merlin and the hole that he had left was wide open in his chest. But he had had the chance to talk to him again, to say goodbye, he had even been there when he had died. He had gotten closure and Merlin had given him a purpose in life, that didn't help to make the pain fade but it helped him carry on. The others didn't have that.

"Gaius...when I...was unconscious..." he started, as he noticed that he had the physicians full attention he cleared his throat, sharp eyes fixating him intensely as he went on.

"Look...I don't know how, or why...but somehow I...I was with Merlin."

Arthur wanted to continue but he stopped as Gaius gasped.

"What? What is it?"

"What? Oh...nothing just...your bond has to be very strong to allow you to see him on the other side."

Arthur thought about that and he realized that it was true, their bond was very strong.

"Yes...whatever..." he went on "He told me that I had to move on Gaius. He...He told me that I should look after you, take care of you...he told me you were like a father to him..." Arthur swallowed back the lump that started forming in his throat as he saw the torn expression on Gaius' face "and he told me that I shouldn't come back to him again."

Now it was Gaius' turn to swallow hard.

"He didn't say that because he doesn't want it Arthur. But it is dangerous for you to be on the other side, you might not be able to find your way back."

"I know I know," the prince reassured him "But he's not on the other side yet...he said he's wai..." he was interrupted midsentence as Gaius jumped to his feet.

"What did you say?"

Arthur eyed him suspiciously before he reluctantly repeated what he had said before.

"Merlin has not yet passed on to the other side, he's somewhere in between, waiting for someone."

Gaius looked as if he was about due for a stroke and Arthur shot him a concerned glance 'Merlin will kill me if I just startled Gaius to death' he thought uncomfortably.

"Gaius?" he asked tentatively and the physician was pulled out of his shocked state "What does this mean? Is it a good or a bad thing that he didn't pass on?"

Gaius shot him a bright smile which somehow made Arthur even more uncomfortable.

"Arthur, don't you understand? It is near impossible to bring someone back from the other side unscathed, but if Merlin has not passé don that means..."

"What?" Arthur asked impatiently.

"It means that we might be able to bring him back." Gaius beamed at Arthur.

It took quite a while for that to sink in. Arthur just stared at Gaius for a while before he asked, hesitantly, afraid that he had gotten the wrong impression, that his mind had just been playing tricks on him.

"What?"

Gaius shot him a sympathetic look, he knew how hard that had to be on the young prince.

"If Merlin has not yet crossed the border to the other side we could possibly bring him back...I mean it is risky and the chances of success are slim but..."

"How? What do we need to do?"

* * *

**Chapter End Notes: ...a cliffy...or at least something close to one :D**

**I hoped you liked that chapter and you enjoyed the little Merlin part at the beginning :D**

**Hope this doesn't get uploaded weird, is playing little tricks on my laptop and I can't seem to get it straight...it should be ok now but if any passages are repeating themselves I'll fix it tomorrow :D If not then it's even better :D**

**I will update soon if I get the chance :D**

**Please leave a review ;D**


	11. Tonight

**Chapter 11: Tonight**

**Chapter Notes:...Yeah now this took longer than I would have thought...unfortunately I injured my left hand while playing volleyball and couldn't really use it for typing *headdesk* **

**Turns out the art of onehanded typing is clearly underestimated,...for me it just takes an eternity and it is frustrating as hell... ;)**

**And if that wouldn't be enough I've been piled with so much homework I didn't see land for a while but well :D**

**This chapter is a longer one once again I hope that makes up for the delay a little... :D**

**Anyways...thanks for the all the lovely reviews so far :D I really think I might have dropped this if it wasn't for them so thank you :D**

**Anyway enough from my side, here goes the next chapter. Enjoy :D**

**

* * *

**

"_What?" Arthur asked impatiently._

"_It means that we might be able to bring him back." Gaius beamed at Arthur._

_It took quite a while for that to sink in. Arthur just stared at Gaius for a while before he asked, hesitantly, afraid that he had gotten the wrong impression, that his mind had just been playing tricks on him._

"_What?"_

_Gaius shot him a sympathetic look, he knew how hard this had to be on the young prince._

"_If Merlin has not yet crossed the border to the other side we could possibly bring him back...I mean it is risky and the chances of success are slim but..."_

"_How? What do we need to do?"_

Arthur stared at the old physician with an unbelieving expression, hope making its way back into his heart. Gaius held his gaze, considering the effort and the risks that they had to be willing to take in order for this to work, but as he was looking into the deep green eyes he could tell that Arthur would do anything to bring Merlin back. H e also knew that Merlin's other friends would do the same. So he swallowed hard and told the young prince to get Gwaine and the others so he could tell them, too.

xxXxxXxxXxx

A short while later Gwen, Lancelot, Morgana and Gwaine were gathered in the room with Arthur and Gaius, listening to the plan.

"Ok, now Arthur told me that Merlin has not yet passed on, we could possibly get him back. I have used a very powerful spell on Merlin's body. It will preserve it for five nights. Four from now on to be correct. The moment the sun rises after the fourth night after the spell has been spoken, the body will not be able to be revived. This means we have to hurry."

He stopped, looking at the determined expressions in the faces of the young people in front of him. Merlin could really find himself happy to have friends like them. But he deserved it. He remembered his young ward. Merlin had always been there for every single one of them, always doing his best to help everyone around.

"Gaius?" the voice of Gwaine pulled him out of his reverie.

"Oh sorry. Well" he continued "There is a ritual which brings the soul back to its body. It is not easy and the chances of success are slim, but it is our only chance."

The others nodded encouraging him to go on.

"We will need several things for the ritual, not all of which are easy to get. We also have to prepare a lot of things. I could never do this alone, but if you help me, we might actually have a chance to succeed. But you have to be aware that this harbours many dangers. Not only will it be dangerous to procure all the items we need, we'll also have to hide this from Uther. We all know how much he loves magic."

"I can keep Uther otherwise engaged, that should not be a problem." Morgana threw in.

Gaius nodded at her and she apologized herself, so she could go and avoid Uther from bursting in on their little meeting in his search for Arthur.

"This is settled then. I can prepare the ritual in the morgue as far as my reserves of herbs and crystals go. But I need other things. I need someone to travel to the great seas of Meredor and obtain a very very rare shell. It is said to be found only in the caves at the coast of the sea."

He showed them a picture of a pink seashell with a white pattern all over it.

"This is beautiful" Gwen said as she looked at it in awe.

"Yes it is. But it is also very hard to come by."

"I think I will be able to get it. I have been to the great seas of Meredor before and I am quite certain that I have seen one of these before."

Everyone turned to look at Lancelot.

"I'm coming with you" Gwen insisted.

"No. It is too dangerous. You can't accompany me."

Gwen was already half out of the door as he said that and she only huffed at his answer.

"I am not going to accompany you, however if you want to go with me, you'd better hurry up, we don't have much time!"

Lancelot just rushed after her at that, leaving Gwaine, Gaius and Arthur behind.

"Ok what else is there to do?"

Gwaine shot Gaius a questioning look, eager to do his part in the rescue mission.

"I am not sure yet. There are some other herbs and things that grow in the forest around the castle but there are also some things I do not quite know where to get from. I would need books on magic rituals to look them up, but Uther had them either burned or locked away, I can't get to them."

He shot Arthur a meaningful look and Gwaine followed his example, but the young prince didn't notice. He was obviously lost in thought which made Gwaine angry, it was Merlin they were talking about and if they wanted to save him they would need full concentration of all of them.

Arthur was lost in his memories. He also had been to the great seas of Meredor before. Together with Merlin. It had been after he had shot the unicorn. He very vividly remembered walking up to the table and seeing Merlin there. He had been ready to face all kinds of tests, no matter what, but seeing Merlin there, endangered because of his mistake had nearly sent him over the edge.

_Flashback_

"_Let him go. I'll take your test...but not 'til he's released." Arthur looked around between his friend and the older man in horror. He had to get Merlin out of harm's way. But it seemed as if the odds were once again stacked against them._

"_...Merlin is part of the test..."_

_Arthur was angry as he realized that he had no choice. Merlin was in this with him now. If anything were to happen to the raven haired boy, he could never forgive himself. But he couldn't risk his kingdom and all the lives of his people to keep Merlin safe, as much as he wanted to._

"_I thought I told you to stay at home!" he snapped at Merlin, a fact he regretted as soon as he saw the pain flash across of his face. He swallowed hard. Merlin was here to help him, just as he always did. He wasn't mad at him, he was mad at himself for not being able to protect him from this._

_They argued over who would be the one to drink from the goblet with the poison, none of them would let the other do it. Arthur felt an unfamiliar warm feeling as he looked into the blazing blue eyes, so determined to do anything so he would be able to walk away from this unscathed. _

"_I had no idea you're so keen to die for me." He said out aloud, but his eyes said something else_

'_I had no idea you care for me enough to risk your life to save mine.'_

_Merlin caught up on that as he answered_

"_Trust me I can hardly believe it myself."_

'_Of course I care for you. More than for anyone else.' Arthur had gotten the message and it had given him strength, the hopeless situation aside._

"_I'm glad you're here Merlin." Arthur said, out aloud this time, the pleasantly surprised look in Merlin's eyes his reward for showing his emotions. _

'_Oh what a mess have I gotten us into?' Arthur thought sighing..._

_End Flashback_

"Arthur!" Gwaine yelled at the blonde prince who had refused to acknowledge his existence for several minutes now.

Arthur was startled out of his daydreaming by the loud and irritated voice.

"What?" he snapped.

"I can't believe it." Gwaine muttered angrily while Gaius shot the prince a concerned look.

"Can you get us those books about magic rituals and herbs we need to prepare or do you not want Merlin to come back?"

Arthur frowned at the animosity in the warrior's voice. They had gotten along ok this morning and it wasn't like the joyful man to be so cold. He could only assume that it was because of Merlin's demise that he was that bitter now.

"It's ok." He said, carefully controlling his temper "I'm sorry, I was just out of it for a second. I will get you those books."

With that he jumped to his feet and walked out of the room. He had not lost it and yelled at Gwaine for being so disrespectful. He would keep his promise towards Merlin and take care of the guy. No matter how annoying he thought him.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Later that day, it was almost nightfall Arthur was walking through the stables, visiting Mystery.

"Hey boy," he said as the black horse raised his head to see who was coming. When he noticed that it was 'just' Arthur he hung his head again. The prince smiled sadly as he stepped in to pat its back.

'Yeah my friend, we have both lost someone vital to our happiness haven't we?'

As he stood there Arthur remembered the day he had bought Mystery for Merlin even if he'd never admit it, and he smiled again.

'He wouldn't want us to sulk all day. Merlin always did all he could to keep a smile on the faces of the people around him.'

"Come on boys." He said to Valor, his beautiful golden stallion, which Merlin had picked for him a long time ago.

_Flashback_

"_He's gorgeous isn't he?" Merlin asked lowly, while they were standing in front of a tall and energetic stallion._

"_Maybe, but there's no way he would be a reliable horse." Arthur muttered in return. "I mean look at this."_

_The golden stallion was fighting against the ties that held him and biting his current owner._

"_You see? He's way too wild to be a riding horse. No way anyone can tame that stubborn beast."_

_Merlin just shook him an odd look at that._

"_What?" the prince asked impatiently as someone tried to approach the stallion and nearly got trampled to death._

"_First one who gets the holster on the beast can take him for free!" one of the burly sellers yelled._

_Arthur gulped wanting to take a step back but when he saw the determined look on Merlin's face he knew his servant was up to something._

"_Merlin..." he warned just as the servant took a step forward._

"_Oh look, we have a volunteer." One of the sellers said shoving the raven haired boy into the penfold._

"_Hey!" Arthur yelled shooting Merlin a worried look, but his friend was already closing in on the tall stallion, ignoring Arthur's calls. The angry prince just resorted to grabbing one of the sellers, an unpleasant looking man who might very well be twice his weight, and pulling him close with a death grip_

"_This is my manservant in there! If anything happens to him...ANYTHING...you will pay for it you hear me?" he emphasised, taking some grim pleasure in seeing the other man pale as he looked over to the gangly boy and the angry stallion._

_Merlin was just standing there and Arthur wondered what he was doing. But whatever it was, it had gotten him the stallion's attention, the golden horse took a step forward, ears turned towards Merlin, the ties loosening until the horse was towering over his manservant._

_Arthur drew in a sharp breath. How on earth had the ties opened? He swallowed hard as Merlin did while his friend looked straight into the stallion's eyes._

"_Come on you stupid prat, stop acting all tough and let me give you a hand."_

_Arthur's mouth fell open as the stallion bowed his head at that, allowing Merlin to put the holster on it. Merlin just grinned as he led the obviously affronted yet obedient stallion past his stunned audience without sparing them as much as a second glance. _

"_Are you out of your mind?" Arthur asked aggravated when he joined them a short while later. The other boy didn't even dignify that with an answer. Arthur knew he was close to letting on how worried he had been, but he couldn't quite restrain himself._

"_What have you been thinking charging in on that beast. You saw him, he might have very well killed you and you just walk in and insult him! There was no way you could have known that he was going to calm down and...What?" he snapped as Merlin started to laugh all of a sudden._

"_Look at you two..." he gasped, out of breath from laughing and pointing at the horse and Arthur who were both looking at the boy with a displeased look. "And you ask me how I could have done that? I just couldn't let this one go, he reminded me to much of someone."_

_Arthur shot him a questioning look at that "He what? You risked your life because of some sentimentality? Towards a horse? Really? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"_

_Merlin just shot him a meaningful look at that and started walking ahead, his new horse and tagging along. Arthur jogged after him, leading the two horses they had come there with._

"_Who did he remind you off anyways?" Arthur asked as soon as he caught up with the golden horse and the raven haired boy._

_Merlin just smiled at that "Well let me think...He is tall and obviously thinks he's so much better than everyone else" he begun pointing at the horse which was stomping around, head high, eyes sharp and attentive, looking as if it was leading the group as it was tagging along behind Merlin "I have never seen anything like that in a horse before. Plus you saw how he reacted when I just took him on. I think that prat never had anyone in his life opposing him directly, was about time someone showed him his place" Merlin's grin widened._

"_What?" Arthur asked, slightly aggravated._

_Merlin just turned around, going on with the walking while he laughed out loud. "And you really have to ask who he reminds me of?"_

_End Flashback_

The young prince sighed. It had taken him a while until he had figured that one out. They had been attacked that day and, other than the other horses, had not shown any sign of fear while it had stood beside them, taking on the attackers. On the next day when he had rushed into the stables, angry because Merlin hadn't finished his chores and not even congratulated him for his birthday which had stung a lot more than it should have, he had found the horse with some kind of bow around its neck, all cleaned up in the stables of his horses.

He had been confused at first, but when he had found the note attached to the bow, a warm feeling had spread through his entire body and soul and he couldn't help but smile broadly.

_Arthur..._

_I've doing some thinking...and I just can't keep him..._

_He belongs to you, you will make a great team...and when you have him, you will have someone to look after you when I'm not around to save your ass..._

_I named him Valor, because I think it fits him very well..._

_Actually this comes in handy as I had nothing to give you for your birthday and I know how cranky you get if you don't get presents..._

_So here's mine..._

_Take good care of him!_

_Merlin_

A not-so-gentle nudge by his stallion pulled him out of his reverie.

"'s ok boy, we're going" he reassured him as he finished saddling him and took Mystery's reigns before they headed out towards that clearing where he had lost his Merlin.

xxXxxXxxXxx

The blonde youth did not know that several pairs of concerned eyes were watching him as he left the castle, each of them with concerns of their own.

Uther looked at him, afraid that his son would turn on him now that he had brought so much suffering upon Camelot and left it to Arthur and his now deceased manservant to resolve the situation. It didn't help that his son refused to accept a new servant, but he didn't think for a second that it might be about the raven haired boy, he just figured Arthur was being rebellious a little and as long as nothing worse came out of it he would let it go.

Morgana looked after him, her heart clenching painfully at the sight of her lonely brother taking out the two horses for a ride, alone. She sighed and turned away. There was nothing she could do, only time could mend a broken heart and in Arthur's case she was afraid he would never be able to love like that again. Because never again would he find all he could ever want in one person, a friend, a brother, a lover, someone he could trust with his life without even thinking twice.

Gwaine was standing on the castle walls in the bright moonlight, unseen by the blonde prince, and his eyes narrowed at the sight of the blonde riding out of the castle with Merlin's horse.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur reached the clearing in the bright moonlight. It was almost full moon, and of what he had heard from Gaius, the full moon which would also be in the night the preservation spell wore off, would be essential to the bringing Merlin back part. Which would be cutting it real close, if they failed this time, they would be done...Merlin would never come back. He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump that was building in his throat at that thought.

He dismounted his horse and let the two equines stroll around on the clearing. The rain had washed away most of the signs of the fight. Some felled trees and craters in the otherwise undisturbed earth were the only signs left. He looked around and he couldn't believe that it could look so peaceful after such a short time.

He clearly remembered the last night, kneeling on the wet floor in the streaming rain begging the boy in his arms to hang on. But it had been in vain. Merlin had given his life to save his. He didn't think he would ever be able to forget holding the lifeless body in the rainy night, carrying him up to the castle. He would never forget the light fading from those blazing blue eyes as the life left Merlin's body. He never would.

He gathered himself, shaking his head. He was not here to sulk about what had happened. He looked around, searching for the staff that had both saved his life and taken Merlin's in return. But it wasn't there. He systematically searched the clearing, the bright light of the stars and the moon helping him, but the staff wasn't there.

Frustrated he let himself fall backwards into the soft, now dry grass. He looked at the stars.

'The staff must be here somewhere. I am sure that I didn't take it and who else could have?' he had read some stuff about the staff and from what he had learned Merlin was the only person he could imagine having the necessary character traits and power to hold and wield it. So where had it gone? He had hoped that it could assist them in bringing Merlin back.

Now that he couldn't find it he could feel a wave of hopelessness crashing down on him, threatening to suffocate him. He closed his eyes hard, and as he opened them again the stars above him were blurred by the tears in his eyes. If Merlin would be here now and anyone else of their friends was the one dead, Merlin would know what to do. He always found a way to make it through. Now that Arthur knew Merlin could do magic he was even more aware of that than before. Because now he knew who the person watching over him was, that he had told his father about all this time ago, after he had been healed from the poison of the questing beast.

And now Merlin was just gone and Arthur was left alone, having to figure out everything by himself. He wasn't mad at Merlin, he just wished that it had been him yesterday. He would have gladly traded his life for Merlin's, especially now that it hurt so much, knowing that he was gone and would most likely never come back.

He looked at the bright stars, and noticed that there was one shining brighter than the others and he remembered what Merlin had told him.

"_Whenever the night is dark and there is but one bright star to guide you ]...[ it will be me"_

He smiled sadly upon remembering and he kept looking at the stars, imagining that Merlin was somewhere up there, looking down on him. That thought comforted him a bit on the one side, but it didn't help the pain that was raging in his chest. He knew he had to be strong around the others in the castle, but here with the starry nightsky his only witness, he could no longer stop it.

He stayed on the clearing for a long while, not noticing as it got colder and colder and the night went on, while he was just lying there, looking at the stars, knowing somehow that they held Merlin. When he finally got rose to ride back he didn't notice that he was being watched by a bright figure standing just in the shadows of the treeline.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Gwaine, who had decided to sleep in the royal stables that night because he couldn't bear to stay in Merlin's room was startled into wakefulness when Arthur returned, quickly taking care of the horses before he went to bed.

'Just where did he come from this late?' he asked himself lowly as he watched the prince walk towards his rooms.

xxXxxXxxXxx

The sun rose in the next day and Gaius and Gwaine were up and about preparing things for the ritual. Morgana came in to check on them, seeing if she could give them a hand, but Arthur didn't show up. Arthur was caught in his dreams. But no one knew that, so Gwaine walked towards the chambers of the sleepy prince who was putting way too little effort into this, for Gwaine's taste.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur groaned as he tossed and turned in his bed, sheets all jumbled and wet with sweat, as he struggled against the images of his dream.

"Merlin...n-noo..." he groaned again loudly.

In his dream he was in a dark room, no windows no doors nothing, just darkness. And Merlin was standing in front of him looking at him with a frown.

"Didn't I tell you to keep the others safe? This ritual won't work and you know it. Their efforts are in vain, they can't bring me back! Make them stop!"

Arthur found himself running after the shadow of the young warlock but he wasn't able to catch up, all the while Merlin was telling him that the ritual wouldn't work, which worsened the fears he had harboured right from the start.

He was unbelievably grateful when Gwaine shook him awake.

"What was that about?" the older warrior asked.

"Had a nightmare." Arthur answered shortly.

Gwaine shot him a concerned look but decided to let it go.

"Ok then, I'm off to get some stuff for Gaius' ritual. You make sure to do your part ok?"

Arthur just nodded, still a little dizzy from the exhausting dream.

"Good, I hope I'll be back in time."

With that Gwaine disappeared leaving a stunned Arthur behind. He could feel the animosity that was suddenly there, but he couldn't explain it. He just assumed that the warrior thought he wasn't into saving Merlin as much as he should be.

xxXxxXxxXxx

With the others gone the next two days and nights passed in a blur for the people left in Camelot. Arthur had been taking care of Hunith who had travelled to Camelot when she had heard the news, devastated by her son's death. But she wasn't blaming anyone. Arthur respected her for that.

When she had arrived Gaius had been shocked, a d he had forbidden Arthur to tell her about the ritual because he wanted "To save her the disappointment if they would fail" as he had said. Arthur had argued with the old physician at first, but then he had seen reason.

He was simply tired now, anxiously waiting at the gate for Gwaine to return. Lancelot and Gwen had made it back last night with the shell and all other needed ingredients were prepared, too. Only Gwaine was missing, with the blossom of a weird flower...moonlight something? It was extremely rare and they could only hope that Gwaine had managed to get it.

Arthur was sitting on the castle wall, keeping watch for Gwaine's return. He remembered the dead set determination in the warrior's eyes and he knew he would be back in time and with the flower, or die trying. Arthur had marvelled at Merlin's friends and families a lot lately. They had all turned out to be very loyal and very devoted to saving Merlin. 'It takes a very special person to gather such a group of loyal and compassionate people' he thought, remembering how he had talked to Hunith a while after his fight with Gaius on the ritual question.

_Flashback_

"_Sire!" Hunith called after him as he walked past her. The young prince swallowed hard as he turned to face her. It had been hard on him to face Gwaine and the others, but having to face the mother whose son was dead because of him...he couldn't do that._

"_Stop it." She said curtly, which had him looking into her eyes, not quite as blazingly gorgeous as Merlin's blue eyes, but not lacking any of the strength of personality Merlin had always showed._

"_You see..." she said as they sat down next to each other so they could talk. "I can see that you are blaming yourself for...Merlin's death" she said, voice breaking at the last part of the sentence._

"_I am so sor..."_

"_I said don't" she interrupted him again, having gathered her composure. "I know you feel as if this was your fault, but the truth is that it wasn't. Merlin made a conscious choice to save you, even if he knew that it would cost his life. He loved you and I am sure if he'd get the chance he'd do it again...Of course it hurts" she continued as he wanted to add something "But for me it helps to know that my son died protecting those meaning most to him, My son died as a hero, albeit an unsung one. But none of that matters. What matters is that you are alive. This is what he wanted. What he gave his life for. So I suggest you make the best of it, anything else would make his sacrifice a needless one. You understand...?"_

_End Flashback_

He had always known that Merlin was special, but what he had seen in the last couple of days had only strengthened his opinion. Just as he finished that thought, looking at the sun, which was already making her way down, he could see a single rider break out of the forest. He jumped up on his feet running to Gaius' chambers.

"Get everything ready! Gwaine is here. He made it."

Morgana and Gwen went to their positions in distracting Hunith and Uther, while Lancelot rushed towards Gwaine. Arthur stayed with Gaius, helping him with the final preparations.

They worked in silence for a while but Arthur had to say something.

"Gaius I'm...if..." he started, but the old physician waved him off.

"Don't. Don't say it. We'll cross any of those bridges, but not before we get to them ok?"

Arthur nodded and resumed his work.

xxXxxXxxXxx

The dawn was breaking and Arthur was standing in the stables, looking at the peaceful picture that Mystery ad Valor made together and he sighed lowly. Soon now it would be time for the answer to the final question. Would he have to live his life with Merlin gone, going through every single day missing his smile, his wise ass remarks and those blazing blue eyes, capable of conveying such an amount of emotion from anger and sadness to affection and joy. Would he have to live his life in the half life left behind now that his sun was gone or would Merlin return to his side, where he belonged once again making him complete?

Gwaine walked up behind him, but Arthur didn't care. He just looked at the black sleek gelding, standing peacefully next to the much bigger stallion. They were so different from each other, they shouldn't get along. But they did and there was no way to place either of them with any other horse. Chance had brought them together.

'Just like me and Merlin' he mused, letting out another sigh and stepping into the cool nightair, Gwaine almost right behind him.

"So..." Gwaine started.

"So...?"

"This is it...this is the night where everything decides."

"Yeah...but I guess we should get some sleep...Gaius said we'll need all the strength we can muster. And we can only perform the ritual right before sunrise. Gwen or Lancelot can wake us up if we're needed."

Gwaine looked like he was about to argue but the look on Arthur's face allowed no contradictions. SO he just nodded, slowly making his way towards his makeshift bed on Gaius' chamber floor.

Arthur stood and looked at the stars for another short while. 'Please Merlin, if you can hear me, hang on, we'll get you back!'

xxXxxXxxXxx

Everything and everyone was in the right place.

Gwen was with Hunith making sure she wouldn't bust this little party, Morgana was keeping a close eye on Uther so he wouldn't discover the ritual, because that wouldn't end well for anyone of them. Lancelot was positioned outside the entry of the Morgue, making sure no one would enter it.

Gwaine, Gaius and Arthur were down in the chamber with Merlin's body. Gaius had taken sand and salt and drawn strange shapes on the floor and everywhere, he had painted some symbols on Merlin with a odd smelling paste of herbs that should allow the soul to return into the body.

The shell Lancelot and Gwen had obtained had been turned into very finely powder and mixed with the blossom Gwaine had gotten and some other things in a bowl made of silver with further markings of the old religion around.

The three of them were standing in a triangle around Merlin, Gaius at the head because he was the one actually performing the ritual, Gwaine on the right side and Arthur on the left side, where Merlin's heart was because he would be the hook, the strong connection they shared should be the thing leading Merlin back into the land of the living.

Gaius started the incantation and Arthur closed his eyes, blocking everything out, only concentrating on Merlin, all the memories,...all the things that they had been through together...

_Flashback_

"_Are you really going to face this dragon with me?" the warm feeling as he realized that Merlin cared enough about him to risk his own life in an unwinnable fight just to be by his side._

_xxXxxXxxXxx_

"_Look on the bright side...you still got me..." him trying to suppress the feeling that was welling up inside of him as Merlin said that_

_xxXxxXxxXxx_

"_I thought you were going for a hug...?" "Nooo..." 'Yes yes yes yes ...damnit' how badly he wanted to really pull Merlin into his arms, but he knew he couldn't...it wasn't right..._

_xxXxxXxxXxx_

"_Something has been upsetting you hasn't it?" Worrying about Merlin, so much that he sat down next to him. He realized that he'd to anything to get that smile back on his manservant's...and friend's face..._

_End Flashback_

The memories began to merge now, no longer full moments, but rather impressions, feelings, images...Merlin's smile...his bright blue eyes filled with joy, his teasing voice, all those things he had loved about him...

Suddenly there was a loud noise and he was thrown off his feet, being shoved backwards by a blast of light, almost like an explosion.

As he scrambled back on his feet he could hardly see anything in the dark after the blazing light and the air was filled with dust form the blast.

He could hear Gaius and Gwaine cough weakly but he didn't care.

He was concentrated on the table in the middle of the room. He didn't even dare to breathe as he approached it, carefully, still not able to see anything. He swallowed hard as he stop in his tracks. He could now make out the general shape of the stone table but he couldn't really recognize anything. He heard Gwaine and Gaius get up behind him.

He swallowed again before he broke the silence.

"Merlin...?"

* * *

**Chapter End Notes: So this is as far as this goes, but don't worry chapter 12 is almost done and it will be up soon enough I hope...**

**Once again sorry for the delay, but well now that it's here at last I hope you enjoyed reading it :D**

**Please Review and tell me what you think of it ;D**


	12. Against All Odds

**Chapter Notes: Once again I want to thank those who reviewed, especially those who stayed with me through the most part of my story so far your reviews really make my day 33**

**Here goes chapter 12 :D**

**Enjoy :D**

_He was focussed on the table in the middle of the room. He didn't even dare to breathe as he approached it, carefully, still not able to see anything. He swallowed hard as he stop in his tracks. He could now make out the general shape of the stone table but he couldn't really recognize anything. He heard Gwaine and Gaius get up behind him._

_He swallowed again before he broke the silence._

"_Merlin...?"_

Nothing. The dust started to fade and he could make out more detailed shapes. He gasped as he stared at the table.

"Gaius!" the prince shrieked, having the old physician and the warrior rush to his side, staring at the table as well.

"What on...?" Gwaine muttered.

"Gaius...what does this...I mean how...where...I..?" Arthur stuttered, not able to form a coherent sentence.

The old physician looked at the empty table in front of them and closed his eyes in defeat.

"We failed."

He didn't say anything more, but he didn't have to. Upon hearing these two words Arthur felt as if his entire world was coming down at him. He turned around, tears blurring his vision as he rushed out of the morgue, darting past Lancelot. He ran so fast that he didn't see how Gwaine hit the floor with his fist and Gaius collapsed to the ground.

From the windows of the respective rooms they were currently in Morgana and Gwen could see the prince rushing towards the stables and both of them exited the chambers, breaking down in the hallway.

By the way Arthur had been moving they could tell the outcome of the ritual, Merlin would never come back.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Arthur arrived at the stables, completely out of breath, but not because he was exhausted. He felt as if he had just been punched into the stomach, having all the air knocked out of him by the pain. He slumped to the floor curling together into a tight little ball.

He didn't know why this affected him so much. He guessed that he actually should have known better than hoping it would work. He had known, deep inside. But he had refused to accept. And now he had to accept the pain. This remembered him of a conversation he and Merlin had had what now seemed an eternity ago.

It had been short after they had confessed their feelings for each other. Merlin had just told him about the fact that he had loved Arthur for a long time now. Arthur had been stunned, just lying close to Merlin in silence for a moment, contemplating what he had just heard. All the disappointments Merlin had had to endure in his love for Arthur.

_Start Flashback_

"_I can't believe I didn't see this sooner. I can't believe I made you suffer like this Merlin...I am so sorry." The young prince chastised himself "Now wonder you turned to Gwaine, I was such a..."_

"_Gwaine?" Merlin interrupted him a funny expression on his face_

"_Yeah...you know..." Arthur muttered, now blushing._

_Merlin just started to laugh at that._

"_Arthur Gwaine is my best friend. He has never been more. It's not like that. Around Gwaine I feel comfortable, like I can be myself without any consequences. But...no...not like that. Gwaine just helped me to keep on believing..."_

"_But why?" Arthur asked darkly, seeing the pain in Merlin's eyes as the raven haired boy remembered all the times he had once again realized that he could never be with Arthur._

"_Why what?" Merlin asked, nonplussed. _

"_Why keep on going? Why not just let go? Why hope in the first place of all you get from it is pain and grief?" Arthur locked his gaze with Merlin's, trying to find the answers to his questions._

_Merlin looked into the emerald eyes and he realized that Arthur was serious._

"_Well it's not that hard to understand. I kept on going because I love you. It didn't matter how painful it was. I could have never turned my back on you. And about hope...Hope isn't always kind and reassuring...in fact sometimes, hope can be so cruel and hurt you so bad that you don't think you can go on...You're right...every time hope dies or is disappointed it is painful. But would you want to live without it? This is precisely why it is that important. If everything would always go right then you wouldn't need hope. We hope, because although we know how many things can go awry and how bad it can get, we have to believe that there is a way for things to be right again. A person without hope might not be disappointed, but on the other hand that person would never see that some things are worth fighting for. They might just never find love because they are to negative. So I'd rather hope and be disappointed a thousand times over, just to maybe find the one time where all goes well, than stop hoping out of fear of disappointment and never know whether my hopes might have come true."_

_End Flashback_

If he looked back on this now, he knew that Merlin had been right. Hope could be painful, but he couldn't live without it. Because sometimes love was just all one had left.

xxXxxXxxXxx

King Uther, alarmed by the fact that his son had neither shown up for breakfast with him and Morgana, nor to the morning exercise with his knights, decided that he should go look for the blonde boy. Usually he would just have sent several servants to look for him, but he felt that Arthur was not in a condition where he would want to be seen by anyone.

Had that Merlin boy of Gaius still been around, he would have just sent him, but the boy was gone, obviously. Uther had never particularly liked the boy, he had been a mere servant and an impudent and idle one. But he had not been blind to the positive effect he had had on is son. And now he was gone. How unfortunate. He would have to find a replacement, maybe Gaius could come up with something or rather someone.

But first priority was his son. He had to find the boy.

He looked in all imaginable places, the training ground, Arthur's chambers, the royal stables...and there it hit him. A while ago his son had requested a separate place for two new horses he had acquired. The only person to look after these horses had been the dead servant boy. The horses had actually turned out to be pretty good. Uther decided to go look in there.

"Arthur?" he called into the semidarkness as he opened the door.

At first there was no response except the low munching of the horses and the rustling of the hay. But after a few seconds there was a movement and his son exited from somewhere in the back.

"Father?" the prince asked nonplussed, carefully keeping his emotions in check and putting on an indifferent face.

The king looked at his son, and he was proud. He could tell that Arthur was in an emotional turmoil, but he managed to keep a straight face to conceal his emotions. He could tell that he didn't want to talk about it and he would allow him to keep his dignity, just as Arthur had granted him a while ago when they had been fighting in the tournament.

"Walk with me." He demanded, exiting into the hazy daylight.

After a short hesitation Arthur followed him, looking up at the sky in surprise, the brilliant blue, clear sky from this morning's sunrise was now covered with clouds.

Uther motioned towards Arthur to follow him, and led the prince up to the castle walls where they stood to look at the village, the kingdom and the people, running around busily in repairing their damaged houses. Their people. They stood and watched them in silence for a while, both lost in thought, but when a ray of sunlight cut through the clouds, warming the place they stood, Uther cleared his throat.

"You know Arthur, there is no shame in grieving about the loss of someone close to you. But you cannot let your feelings show and let you appear weak. Because if people believe that you are weak it will weaken your position once you are king. And they will lose their trust in you. You cannot let that happen. Because if they can't trust their king, then who will they look up to?"

Arthur inclined his head a little, revelling in the warmth of the sun while he looked down at the people, the people that one day would be his to take care of. He remembered arguing with Merlin about his way to treat others. It had been the raven haired boy who had taught him to respect others. He smiled slightly as he thought of Merlin standing in front of him, head red in anger and eyes blazing.

"_Just because you are a royal prat you have no right to believe that you are so much better than everyone else! Because if you'd step down from your high horse you'd notice how much of your respect you actually owe them!"_

And with that he had turned on his heels and stomped out of the room, leaving Arthur staring after him with his jaw dropped.

Merlin had shown him how important every person was, from a lowly servant to his highest knights and he had taught him to respect them, so they would respect him.

Merlin had believed in Arthur's compassionate and kind heart and he had always stood up for him against any accusations, safe for his own. Merlin had been the one to tell him that he would be a great king one day, Merlin was no longer by his side now, but in his heart and the things he had thought him he would always be a part of him. And it was time he lived up to the high expectations Merlin had had into him.

Uther was pleased to see a change in his son's stance. His face lightened up a little and his eyes lost the heartbreakingly broken and defeated look they had shown just a moment ago.

"Thank you father." the prince said, with an indicated bow before he started to make his way towards the training grounds, he had knights to train. Uther just looked after him with a concerned yet pleased expression.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Later this day, Arthur called it a day and told his knights to get some rest after the battle they had just fought not all of them were back up o their original form yet.

As he returned to his own chambers he quickly decided to take Mystery and Valor out for another ride since he could not stand the silence in his unusually tidy room. His new manservant had cleaned his room and finished all his chores without Arthur even seeing him once. Now the only sign that the guy had been there was the dinner that he had left on Arthur's desk.

The prince knew that that was what a good servant was supposed to be like, unnoticeable, quick and obedient, but he missed Merlin's carefree chatter and his wise ass remarks already. He sighed, grabbing a chunk of bread and some cheese and making his way towards the stables.

The daylight was already slowly diminishing, and the clouds were almost gone as well, without bringing any rain at all, it made Arthur wonder what the weather was up to, as he rode towards the forest, intending on visiting the clearing where Merlin had died once more, for closure, before he kept his promise towards Merlin and started to look out for the others and go on with his life.

But when he entered the forest he felt the strong urge to visit the lake, so he took a detour to there. As he arrived at the lake, the sun was already setting and it painted the sky in beautiful intense colours which were reflected in the lake. He got off his horse and walked towards the water.

He was so captured by his thoughts and the beautiful sunset that he didn't notice that he was being approached from behind, until the intruder was so close that he almost touched Arthur's back. The prince spun around his hands reaching for the sword which wasn't at his belt, but then he recognized the intruder.

"You?" he asked, nonplussed, staring at the beautiful white unicorn which hadn't moved an inch during this whole procedure.

The mythical creature just threw it's into the air and took a step back, looking at Arthur expectantly.

"What? Do you need my help? Do you want me to come with you?" Arthur asked, something in his heart jumping at the sight of the beautiful being. He couldn't explain it but he felt the desperate need to help it. He figured it was because it reminded him of Merlin. A magical being, kind and gentle and yet to be killed on sight because of something it had been born with. He just had to do all he could to help it. For Merlin. He knew that Merlin would have stopped at nothing to save it. And neither would Arthur.

As the unicorn neighed demandingly he rushed towards his horses.

"Ok ok we're coming we're coming don't worry my friend we'll help you." He said, mounting his horse and rushing after the sparkling being.

After a short but fast run through the forest the woods cleared and his horses stopped dead as they found themselves faced with a giant dragon. Arthur bowed down to comfort his horse, before he dismounted, taking his sword. He knew how angry the dragon had been when Merlin had been killed and he did not want to hurt a creature grieving so deeply about his lover, but he would not let him hurt anyone and definitely not anyone as utterly innocent as the unicorn.

"Hey you! Dragon!" He yelled as he approached the beast, his eyes scanning the area for the unicorn.

The dragon turned around, eyes blazing red. Arthur gulped, but he didn't step back. He had made up his mind, now he wouldn't back off. He looked around, seeing the staff of compassion lying in the grass not even 3 m in front of him. He fixated the glowing red eyes of the dragon, trying to assess whether it was going to hurt anyone or not. He was concerned because the dragon wasn't talking.

"Dragon. What is your business here?" The young prince asked, a little less loud now, taking several small steps towards the staff so he could basically grab it. But he wasn't going to. This staff wasn't his to wield.

He turned around and suddenly found the unicorn hovering behind him.

"Is he scaring you?" he asked lowly, head turned toward the horse. It didn't answer, logically, but Arthur took a defensive stance between the dragon and the unicorn as he spoke again.

"Dragon, I know you have a grudge against me and my father for letting Merlin die. I understand your anger. But I cannot let you hurt anyone because of something that was Merlin's own decision!"

At that the dragon just opened his jaw and spit a fireball towards them, Arthur placed himself in front of the unicorn to protect it and waited for the blow. But it didn't come. He frowned, turning around just to see the staff of compassion levitating in front of him. He looked at it and extended a hand, just to find it flying into his hold.

The unicorn stepped out from behind him as the staff started to glow in a bright green light. He didn't understand. How was this possible? He should not be able to hold the staff.

He looked up just to see the dragon and the unicorn facing him, now standing next to each other. He was confused.

"But I thought you..." he stuttered looking at the unicorn "and you did..." towards the dragon before he looked at the staff in his hands, which was still glowing in the bright green light he had only seen when Merlin had used it "What how...? I do not understand?"

The great dragon chuckled at the dumbfounded expression in the young boys face.

"Congratulations Arthur Pendragon. You have been found worthy of the reward for a pure heart."

Arthur stared at the staff in his hand in disbelief as he listened to the words of the dragon.

"Young Pendragon, you have proven that you have a pure heart. The unicorn decided that it will grant you three wishes for that, which it will fulfil for you with the aid of the staff which you are currently holding."

Arthur cocked his head. He knew he probably should take this as it was, a gift, and not question it, but he was not quite sure about this whole thing and the shock of the dragon attack still had his mind jumbled.

"Ok hold it there. Since when" he asked looking around between the two mythical beings "do unicorns grant wishes? I never heard of that before. No offense meant." He added quickly as the sparkling white animal took a step forward.

"Unicorns do not...grant wishes" the dragon responded "Neither do dragons. But the staff of compassion does. As you can see, it is white, just as the unicorns are."

Arthur raised an eyebrow at that.

"Ok I am sorry to inform you, but a lot of things are white. What does the colour have to do with anything?"

The dragon let out a frustrated huff at that. He could tell that the prince was defensive because they had caught him at a bad time because he had not had enough time to get over his grief for the loss of Merlin. But that made this no less aggravating, especially since his plan could not work if the prince did not cooperate.

"Unicorns are beings of magic and purity. The staff of compassion is a powerful weapon, but that is not all it is. It has the magical powers of the unicorns and all good in the world just as the staff of mercilessness has the power of evil. If now a unicorn gets close to the staff it develops certain powers. Such as the power to grant wishes. If the unicorn which found the staff finds a person with a pure and compassionate heart and a gentle soul which it considers worthy of this gift...well you see?" the dragon finished giving the prince time so that the things he had said could sink in.

"You have the wrong person. I do not deserve this. Thank you, but you have the wrong guy." He said, while turning towards the beautiful glistering animal that had brought him the staff. He let go of the glowing staff and turned away.

The dragon stared down at him. He had heard this before, when Merlin had told him that he had the wrong person for his destiny. Merlin had been just as defiant and headstrong about it as the young prince was now. But after a while he had realized the truth and it was imperative that Kilgarrah made Arthur see it as well.

"Incorrect. You are the right person. You can wish for anything except for someone to return from the dead. Hurry up, you will not get another chance."

Arthur swallowed hard as he turned back around to the unicorn which was still standing close to him, the staff levitating in front of it. He nodded slowly extending one hand to stroke the magnificent head.

"Thank you." He meant that even if the dragon had made it clear that his own biggest wish would never be fulfilled. But he had an idea how to use the wishes.

The dragon and the unicorn waited patiently.

"My first wish, "Arthur began "Is for Gaius and Hunith, Merlin's family and Gwaine, Lancelot, Gwen and Morgana. I wish for them to be able to go on after the terrible loss they just suffered, to carry the memory of Merlin in their hearts, but the pain of his loss being overwhelmed by the happiness of those memories."

The staff brightened up for a short while before the light abated again. Arthur nodded gratefully. The dragon cocked his head. It had not passed him that the young prince had not wished the same for himself.

"My second wish goes to the people which have been harmed in any possible way during this war that my father's foolishness and the hate that resulted from it. I wish for them to be able to go on with living their lives without being afraid all the time."

'Interesting' the dragon thought as the staff repeated its action 'Once again he has not wished anything for himself...one wish left...'

"Prince Arthur," the dragon called out and Arthur turned to him shooting him a questioning look. "Would you not want to wish for you to be killed and brought to the young warlock? Or to heal your pain?"

The blonde prince shook his head.

"No." He answered curtly which earned him a surprised look by the dragon. As he saw it he tried to explain.

"I do not want my pain to go away. It reminds me of Merlin and all the things he taught me. It reminds me of the sacrifice he made for me and all of us without regret. It is a small price to pay compared to his but I don't want my pain to be taken away. And as for wishing to return to him." He sighed lowly averting his eyes "Of course I would love to be with Merlin but I cannot leave my people and all our friends behind. They need me, I know that now. I promised Merlin to take care of everything...and everyone...and I intend to keep that promise."

The dragon just nodded at that and Arthur continued.

"My third and last wish finally is for Merlin, the friend and love I've lost to the greater good. For Merlin, I wish that, wherever he is now, he will be able to be happy. And I want him to be ok, whoever he is with. I just wish for him to be happy and alright."

The dragon smiled at that and bowed his head as the unicorn stepped forward to gently nudge Arthur's shoulder it's horn, sending a warm and fuzzy feeling through his body. Arthur was confused, the staff hadn't glowed yet.

"What is wrong?" he asked the two mythical creatures that stared at him with unreadable expressions. "What?" he asked again as he received no reply.

Suddenly there was a burst of green light and Arthur closed his eyes to protect them. As he opened them again the two mythical creatures f them were gone and the staff of compassion was lying in the grass in front of him, glowing faintly.

"Hey!" He yelled "What happened?"

/Your three wishes Arthur Pendragon have been fulfilled, because you have not used them to enrich yourself but to help others. So they became true. Now it is up to you how to find out how everything turned out./

/What about Merlin? Will he be ok?/ he shouted at the dragon's voice in his head.

/That my young prince/ the dragon chuckled /is for me to know and for you to find out. But your wish has been fulfilled if that was what you were referring to. Merlin will be happy/

Arthur was about to continue yelling at the voice in his head, demanding a clear answer as he heard a noise behind him. He whirled around, raising his sword at what- or whoever was there in the dark behind him. But what he saw then hit him unprepared and he nearly dropped his sword in surprise. The moon and the stars threw a pale golden glow onto the clearing as he stared at the other.

"Arthur?"

The blonde just stood and stared for a while, not capable of saying anything.

"Merlin, is that...how?"

He just asked staring at the figure in front of him. The other just frowned, looking around, obviously not knowing where he was. Or why he was wherever he was for that matter.

"Merlin..." Arthur whispered, causing burning golden eyes to turn to him. The prince knew that he should probably say something to explain the situation, or something similarly rich, but he couldn't think of anything while he was looking at the golden image of his lover in front of him so he settled for "Why are you glowing?"

**Chapter End Notes: This is as far as the penultimate chapter of sacrifice goes ;D**

**I hope you enjoyed it :D The final chapter will be up soon :D Please leave a review ;)**


	13. Kilgarrah's Plan

**Kilgarrah's Plan**

**Chapter Notes: No this is not the final chapter :D **

**This is just a (very) short insertion to show Kilgarrah's part in Merlin's return :D**

**The final chapter will be up soon ;D**

**I hope you enjoy this :D**

**Thank you for the lovely reviews they make me really happy :D**

Kilgarrah was not exactly old for a dragon, but he was very old measured in human lifespans. Through all his life he had been through a lot and after Uther's misdeeds he had been sure that he would never trust any human ever again.

But he had been utterly wrong. When the young warlock Merlin made his appearance the dragon saw merely a tool for his freedom and a future he found desirable in the kid. But the closer he got to know him the more he started to admire the boy for his ways.

On the one hand he was frustrated with the disrespect the human treated him with and the constant questioning him on things only to do the exact opposite of what he had been told he still was impressed by the compassion and strength of will the human showed, always trying to bring out the best in people and mostly succeeding.

Without even realizing it really the dragon had grown rather attached to the young warlock and although he refused to admit it he was not as displeased with Merlin being the dragonlord controlling him. When he had joined Xigarrah and Athelear he had soon discovered that he just couldn't go through with it.

When he thought of attacking Camelot, once again, memories of Merlin facing him off, standing protectively over the prince so obviously angry but still showing him mercy and letting him go. He could not comprehend how he felt unable to betray this small human, but the truth was that he couldn't, so he decided to warn him.

Right from the start he had known how this would end. He had told Merlin not to use the staff, but he had been very aware that he would most likely have to use it and die in the process. But the great dragon had refused to accept that.

When Merlin had used the staff to protect the prince, the dragon felt his heart breaking, but he had not run out of options yet. He made sure that Merlin would not pass on to the other side before he had set his plan into motion.

_/You know that this is not true. I set you free now Kilgarrah, release the ties that bind you to me. You have a good heart. I hope you'll find peace and happiness./_

_The dragon didn't answer with words but the feelings that came through their connection told him everything he needed to know. The dragon did not intend on outliving him for all too long. He had some unfinished business in this world, but he would be right behind him. Not too long ago Merlin would have argued, but now he could feel the lonely soul inside of the dragon. The lonely soul that had found a companion in his. So he just sent him a mental message._

_/I'll be waiting for you./_

_The dragon nodded before he jumped into the air letting out a roar so filled with grief that it brought all those who heard it to the brink of tears._

The dragon had never doubted that Merlin would not leave him behind, so he had won himself some time. Unfortunately his entire plan was not without risk or foolproof. Quite the opposite. The entire thing stood and fell with Arthur and the way the prince felt about the warlock.

When he had left the two of them on the clearing he had gotten his hopes up. He could tell that the prince really cared about Merlin and that was vital to his success. While Merlin's friends were doing the best they could come up with to bring Merlin back to life, the dragon went to gather some things of his own.

He had figured that the old physician would try to restore Merlin's soul to his body, and that he would preserve the body for a while in order to set things up. He used that knowledge to prepare to obtain Merlin's body with a ritual of his own, one that was far older and far more powerful that the one Gaius had in mind.

While he was preparing his move he was watching the actions of the young prince closely and he sent his ally, the unicorn which he had given the staff of compassion to, to watch it as well. He knew about the fact that Arthur and Merlin had once saved the magnificent creature and it was willing to return the favour with the aid of the staff, but Arthur would have to prove himself first.

So Kilgarrah stole Merlin's body and sent it into a different magical dimension where only the staff of compassion could bring it back from. As he had hoped everything went according to plan, Arthur decided to follow the unicorn in order to help it.

From that point on the whole plan was hanging by a thread and the thread was called Arthur Pendragon. The prince would have to pass several tests to get his deepest wish fulfilled by the staff, Because only the wish of a pure heart, unselfish and ready to sacrifice itself for someone else would reveal the true power of the staff.

But Arthur could not be told about this because that would negate the effect. So while the whole thing went down the dragon held his breath, hoping for the prince to prove worthy of the sacrifice Merlin had made for him. And he did.

What the prince did not realize was that while every single of his wishes was completely unselfish and had nothing to do with bringing Merlin back at the first look, if you went deeper they did.

"_My first wish, "Arthur began "Is for Gaius and Hunith, Merlin's family and Gwaine, Lancelot, Gwen and Morgana. I wish for them to be able to go on after the terrible loss they just suffered, to carry the memory of Merlin in their hearts, but the pain of his loss being overwhelmed by the happiness of those memories."_

The easiest way of taking the pain from them was deleting the cause of it, which meant to undo Merlin's demise and bring the warlock back.

"_My second wish goes to the people which have been harmed in any possible way during this war that my father's foolishness and the hate that resulted from it. I wish for them to be able to go on with living their lives without being afraid all the time."_

For his people to not be afraid Arthur would have to be strong for them and make sure they knew that he would protect his kingdom and take good care of them, be a strong leader for them. Arthur was a strong and honourable ruler all by himself, but the best way to make sure he would be able to do all this was to reunite him with the source of his strength, his silent guardian, to bring his completing half back to his side.

"_Prince Arthur," the dragon called out and Arthur turned to him shooting him a questioning look. "Would you not want to wish for you to be killed and brought to the young warlock? Or to heal your pain?"_

_The blonde prince shook his head._

"_No." He answered curtly which earned him a surprised look by the dragon. As he saw it he tried to explain._

"_I do not want my pain to go away. It reminds me of Merlin and all the things he taught me. It reminds me of the sacrifice he made for me and all of us without regret. It is a small price to pay compared to his but I don't want my pain to be taken away. And as for wishing to return to him." He sighed lowly averting his eyes "Of course I would love to be with Merlin but I cannot leave my people and all our friends behind. They need me, I know that now. I promised Merlin to take care of everything...and everyone...and I intend to keep that promise."_

As the prince had said that the dragon had noticed that the magical aura off the staff had shifted, becoming even more powerful and he had realized that the unicorn had released its hold on the magic because the staff had recognized Arthur as worthy of its powers.

"_My third and last wish finally is for Merlin, the friend and love I've lost to the greater good. For Merlin, I wish that, wherever he is now, he will be able to be happy. And I want him to be ok, whoever he is with. I just wish for him to be happy and alright."_

_The dragon smiled at that and bowed his head as the unicorn stepped forward to gently nudge Arthur's shoulder it's horn, sending a warm and fuzzy feeling through his body. _

As soon as these words had left the prince's mouth Kilgarrah had known that they had won. Because not only had Arthur proven that he was thinking of others before himself, no the prince had wished for Merlin to be happy. Maybe not even realizing that the best and only way for the young warlock to be alright and truly happy was to bring him back to his prince and undo their separation. Because Merlin's place was at Arthur's side, as if he had always been there...and always would be there. They were two sides of the same coin after all.

So he had decided to leave and let the young ones handle it from there. It had been his plan, but this was not his merit. It had been the deep connection of these two souls, which would surely do achieve great things together and change the world forever.

But as he was making his way a small piece of him stayed with the young prince and his warlock. He would watch over them. They were worthy of all the support that he could give and he would be honoured to be watching them live up to the great destiny they had together, because for the first time in a long time Kilgarrah truly dared to look forward to the future he knew they could create.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes: This was short :D**

**I really just wanted to explain Kilgarrah's side of the story without overdoing it, but I wanted to tie some lose ends so the last chapter could be focussing on the reunion of Merlin and Arthur :D**

**I hope you liked it and it lit up some things...I don't think this was really important, but it was the back story I kind of based Merlin's whole comeback on in my head and I just thought I'd show you :D**

**Thank you for reading please leave a review ;)**


	14. Because You Live

**Chapter 13: Because You Live**

**Chapter Notes: It's ending *sniff* Thanks to all of you who stayed with me through this story...to those who favourited this story or put it on their story alert list :***

**And a special thanks to the ones who took their time and reviewed the story again and again, always motivating me to go on...I am grateful for every single review made 333**

**I don't think I would have gotten this far without you 33**

**Soo...enough of the sentimentality for now :D**

**Here goes Chapter 13 (well 14 actually but yeah ;D):**

**

* * *

**

"_Merlin...Why are you glowing?"_

Arthur asked the warlock, just staring at him with an incredulous expression while the glowing boy stared back with a no less confused look on his face.

Staring at each other and finding their confusion and disbelief mirrored in the facial expression of the other, both of them suddenly had to stifle a laugh.

Arthur was not sure whether Merlin was really there or whether it was merely a dream or illusion again, and he was sure that he wouldn't be able to bear it if he let himself believe he was back and be proven wrong. But just seeing Merlin's face and the dumbfounded expression on it was nearly too much for him to take.

Merlin on the other hand had no idea whatsoever about what had happened. He had told Arthur to stop trying to bring him back because he knew that the price of restoring a life was another. If he was truly back now, he should be mad, and worried. But when he looked at Arthur and saw the cluelessness of the prince it was all too easy to fall back into the old teasing pattern.

After another short moment of awkward silence it became too strong to hold back and the two of them broke out into laughter. The tension which had weighted heavily on them broke with the silence and left them gasping for air after several moments of uncontrolled laughter.

When the laughter cleared their gazes locked and the force of reality hit them. Arthur took a hesitant step forward, his eyes never leaving the glowing person in front of him. His emotions were jumbled, confusing. He wanted this to be true so badly, just to pull Merlin close and be sure that it was him and he wouldn't have to go on alone, but he was afraid of being hurt again, left again.

Merlin stepped forward as well, carefully assessing Arthur's every move. He could tell by the look on the blonde's face that something was wrong, the prince looked torn. He was confused, wanting to stop the glowing which emanated from him and he reached for his magic to do so. It worked and the glowing abated. He was pleased if a little taken aback by the result since the light of the moon and the stars was suddenly the only light.

His magic felt different from before. He could tell that it had changed during this adventure. He could not tell how exactly, but he was almost definitely sure that it was stronger now. But he would have to examine that later, as Arthur was now standing within an arm's length apart from him.

The glowing abated and Arthur closed in faster now, encouraged. Now that the golden glow was gone it seemed far more likely to him that Merlin had truly returned. But Merlin's eyes didn't stop glowing. In fact they seemed to glow even brighter now, if that was even possible.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked again his voice shaking this time.

The other just smiled at first and the prince felt his heart sink. Why didn't he say anything?

'Come Merlin...please...just say something...please...yell at me if you want to do whatever you feel like doing but don't just stand there.' the prince begged internally, staying perfectly still on the outside though.

Merlin took a deep breath and cleared his throat. He wanted to break through the wall that suddenly seemed to stand between them but he didn't know how. But he was aware that he had to say something anyways.

"Sire." he said faintly "I'm guessing you don't know how I got here either now do you?"

Arthur just shot him an unbelieving look.

"Yeah..." Merlin suddenly grinned "Figures. I should have known that now should I? After all there is no way I could expect a clotpole like you to understand"

"Why you...?" Arthur responded and then he was all over him pulling him into a tight hug, which was eagerly returned by the warlock, who soon struggled to pull free.

"Arthur..." he laughed "let go...can't...breathe..."

"Ohhh nooo...You're not going anywhere..." Arthur grinned holding him even tighter o whisper into his ear "I missed you...idiot." before he gently released his hold.

Merlin just shot him an affectionate look at that, pulling him down to sit in the grass next to him, not letting go of Arthur's hand.

"So...what happened after I...you know?" Merlin asked when they were seated in the cool, dry grass facing each other.

Arthur swallowed hard, dropping his gaze from the still glowing eyes of the warlock.

"Well..." he started hesitantly, carefully stroking Merlin's hand, assuring himself of his presence "it was all a mess. Gaius came up with a plan to bring you back and we got on it right away."

"Arthur!" Merlin scolded lightly "I told you not to. It was too dangerous."

"Yeah I know you did. And that didn't make it any easier for me you know?" Arthur replied, looking up. "Knowing that there was a chance to bring you back, even if it was small, but not being able to fully go for it because of having to look out for your friends? Do you have any idea what I went through? Thinking that I might have to make a choice between your life and keeping myself and the others safe because you made me promise to? You have no idea what..." his voice broke as a small sob escaped his lips.

Merlin looked at the blonde, seeing the pain in those beloved emerald eyes and he felt guilt washing over him. If their situations had been reversed, he wasn't sure whether he would have been able to take it...to carry on without Arthur, just to keep a promise. He had cut Arthur off from his friends, their friends, by asking him to look out for everyone.

By doing that he hadn't made it easier for the prince, quite the opposite. Situations reversed Merlin knew that he could count on Gwaine to show him the way and keep him going, but Arthur was a person to rely on his own strength and judgement, he was no person to express his feelings openly. And by telling him to stop the rescuing attempts he had secluded his prince from the other's efforts.

"Arthur...I am...so sorry..." he said at a loss for anything better to say. "I never meant to hurt you...or to...I'm sorry..."

Arthur flashed him a weak smile.

"Just make sure it never happens again ok? I'm sure Gwaine will kill me if anything even remotely similar happens again."

Merlin shot him an answering smile at that.

"Yeah...Gwaine...He likes you, you know? He's just not really good at showing it."

"Maybe," Arthur replied dryly "But I don't believe for a second that he would choose me over you." Suddenly serious he locked his gaze with Merlin's golden eyes "You have a good friend there Merlin...He's loyal to you till the end. I don't like this..." he admitted "But I am glad you have him. Because if anything were to happen to me, I know that he'd make sure you'd be alright."

Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but as he remembered thinking something similar just a moment ago he shut it again. That did not escape Arthur's attention and the prince turned his face towards the stars, closing his eyes. He knew that the feeling of jealousy was ridiculously, but he couldn't help it. There was just something about the Merlin/Gwaine dynamic that bothered him immensely.

Merlin sensed the distress of his partner and he sought for a way to ease it.

"Arthur,...You can count on Gwaine as well...and on Lancelot, Gwen, Morgana, Gaius...if anything were to happen to me...again..." he added almost as an afterthought "They will all be there for you, you just have to believe that you can rely on them."

Arthur shuddered at that, returning his gaze to Merlin's face.

"I know...I do really, that's not the point..." he replied "just please, don't leave me again...please...?" he begged.

"Arthur...I would never intentionally hurt you...I would never consciously want to leave you...I couldn't...you are a part of me...and I love you more than my life...Never doubt that."

Upon the serious tone of Merlin's voice Arthur could tell that it was the truth and he relaxed a little. He knew that he had been overreacting.

"Merlin...?" he asked suddenly after they had been staring at the stars for a while in silence, revelling in the presence of each other. The warlock turned around to face him.

"Yeah?"

"Are you using your magic right now?"

"No...why?" Merlin asked, nonplussed.

"Because...your eyes, you know...they're still glowing."

"They are...? Huh..." Merlin wondered. "I really can't explain that..."

Arthur grinned "Figures" he said in a mocking voice "but I can hardly take you back home with me when you're eyes look like they're burning, I don't think my father would approve."

Merlin huffed at that, laying back and facing the sky again.

"Can't we just stay here?" he asked quietly.

"You know we can't do that. I'm going to be king one day after all, I have a reputation to uphold, what will the people say if both of us are gone all of a sudden?" he said, remembering what Merlin had said before this whole thing had started.

"Yeah." Merlin replied, also remembering, closing his eyes.

Arthur looked over to him, lying in the grass, looking so utterly peaceful in the pale white light of the moon and the stars. He sent a silent thank you to the forces that had given him and Merlin another chance.

Arthur carefully moved on top of the raven haired boy, making sure that he didn't hurt him. He gently lowered himself and placed a kiss on Merlin's forehead, slowly moving downwards towards his lips. Merlin's breath quickened and his mouth opened eagerly as their lips met.

Arthur shifted their positions, shoving the considerably lighter warlock on top of him, without ever breaking the kiss.

As they broke free from each other, they were both gasping for air.

"I love you...so...damn much..." Merlin choked out, his hands gently caressing the face of the prince.

At that Arthur pulled him down again, placing a swift kiss on his lips before he pulled Merlin against his chest, tucking Merlin's head under his chin.

"I love you too..." he responded, every word full of affection.

And while they were lying in the cold grass, just holding each other looking at the stars Merlin could feel the steady and strong beat of Arthur's heart and he felt completely happy.

He had a feeling as if this wasn't the last they had heard of the staff of compassion or his rescue, but at that moment right there, with Arthur on the moonlit clearing he couldn't care less. He was here with Arthur and that was all that matted, because no matter what would hit them, as long as they stood together they would defeat it. And as the realization of exactly how true this was hit him, the golden glow of his eyes slowly abated, finally turning back into his usual blazing blue.

Neither of them noticed that for a while, just holding each other and watching the stars in silence. But as Mystery and Valor slowly approached them, they got up to greet their horses.

Merlin hugged Mystery tightly, burying his face in his mane.

"Hey buddy, did you miss me?" he asked lowly. The horse just nudged him gently in response and Merlin smiled.

"Of course he missed you, idiot. We all did." Arthur answered in the horse's stead which caused Merlin to shoot him an affectionate look.

"Hey,..." Arthur called , surprised "Your eyes stopped glowing."

"I know." Merlin answered with a grin

"What does that mean you know?" Arthur pouted, demanding an explanation.

"I just knew, because I realized something. As long as we stand together I don't have to be afraid. SO my magic ceased to try and protect me. Because it knows that you will."

They looked at each other in silence for a while after that meaningful sentence before Arthur broke it.

"It's right you know? I will protect you. Just as you will protect me...And if we are both lost, we still have friends to rely on...that much I learned from this."

Merlin nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, our friends are amazing. We can be really glad to have them."

"Most of the time" Arthur muttered jokingly and Merlin threw a handful of grass at him. Arthur just laughed at that before he mounted his horse, watching as Merlin did the same.

"Let's go home, shall we?" he asked, and Merlin moved Mystery next to Valor as he answered

"Yeah...let's go home."

* * *

**Chapter End Notes: I cut this chapter into two parts, I will upload them together, but as final chapter and Epilogue... mostly because I kinda like this as an ending scene but felt like there was something missing to make it complete...:D**


	15. Epilogue

**Chapter Notes: One last time...thank you for everything...all the ones who read this, favourited it or put in on their alert list...and especially those who reviewed...**

**Thank you :D**

**Enjoy...**

**

* * *

**

When Arthur and Merlin arrived at the castle Gwaine nearly fell off the castle wall where he had been sitting and waiting for the prince to return, feeling guilty because he had given him a hard time. None of this had been Arthur's fault and it was not at him to blame the prince.

"GUYS!" He yelled, running through the quiet castle towards Gaius' chamber where the friends, safe for Hunith who had had to return home, had gathered to honour Merlin's memory and share their grief. Later then to worry about Arthur's whereabouts.

"Guys! You have to come and see this you won't believe me! He yelled bursting through the door of the chamber in question.

"What is it" Lancelot asked agitated. "You'll wake up the entire castle with your yelling!"

"It's Arthur...he's back and Merlin's with him..." he yelled running out of the room, the others following at his heels.

"What?" Gaius yelled rushing after the young warrior towards the stables where Mystery and Valor usually stood.

And there they were. Merlin and Arthur were just dismounting their horses as the others burst into the stables.

Completely taken off guard Merlin found himself in a bear hug by Gwaine while Morgana and Gwen both hugged the young prince. Merlin smiled and closed his eyes for a moment, revelling in the magic of the moment. They were finally reunited. Everyone asked had a million questions about the what and who and how and Gwaine did not let go of the warlock once.

Arthur pulled back a little, allowing his lover the moment with his friends, his emerald eyes never once leaving Merlin's face. Gaius went to stand beside him, patting his shoulder affectionately after he had hugged Merlin tight, making sure that he was truly there.

"So you did it...You managed to bring him back after all...thank you." The old physician said lowly as to not disturb the excitement of the youngsters.

"Nah...I did nothing. I don't even know how he found his way back, I'm just glad he did...I have a feeling whatsoever that I have that dragon to thank for that."

Gaius smiled amicably.

"Maybe, but it was you he came back for."

"Nonsense." The prince argued "He came back for you, and Gwaine and the others, not even I can tell how much he cares about you..." Arthur said, trailing off.

"Maybe you can't, and you are right. I know how much Merlin cares about each of his friends there and about me, about Gwaine especially...but he didn't come back for any of us." He hurried to finish as he saw the flash of pain in the emerald eyes at the mentioning of Gwaine.

"When we performed the ritual, I was begging him to come back with all the strength I could muster, and I could the connection between Merlin and Gwaine and how Gwaine tried to pull him back. But it didn't work. And don't even try to tell me that your whole heart was in on the ritual because I know better than that. I don't know why, but you held back. And this is why it didn't work." Gaius said, holding the gaze of the prince's eyes with a serious expression.

"Don't argue." He cut Arthur off as said opened his mouth to do so "as I said, cares a lot about all of us, maybe more than anyone can grasp, but none of that mattered. It was you unconditional love and devotion, your readiness to let him go in order to fulfil his wishes and make sure he was ok even if it meant that you would have to suffer which brought him back. It was also his love for you, so strong that it could surpass even death."

Arthur didn't respond to that, taking his time to process the information. His eyes still on Merlin he realized that Gaius was right and he felt as if a shadow was lifted off his heart.

"Thank you Gaius." He said, and the old man just smiled and waved him off as they continued to watch the others.

It didn't take Merlin long to realize that Arthur was no longer by his side and he felt fear hit him for a split second, before he felt the Arthur's gaze on him and he turned to meet it, earning a fatigued smile from his blonde prince. Merlin shot Arthur an answering smile, freeing himself from Gwaine's hold with a grin.

He looked into the faces of his friends and he was beyond grateful to have all of them. But he was tired and he only wanted to retreat to a more quiet place with Arthur and sleep for a month. And they all looked like they should do the same.

"Ok guys, I think we should call it a day. I really missed all of you, you wouldn't believe how much, but I am drop dead tired and I can tell that you are, too" he started "and to avoid any further unhappy incidents I'd strongly suggest we get some rest and sort things out tomorrow." He added in an attempt to lighten the mood.

The others just nodded, suddenly realizing how tired they were. The y said their goodbyes to Merlin and went to their respective sleeping places. Gwaine, Gaius and Arthur stayed with the raven haired boy, looking at him expectantly.

Merlin walked over to Arthur, entwining his fingers with Arthur's, looking up to the physician and the warrior. Both of them shot him an understanding smile and Gwaine spoke up.

"It's alright, I'll take care of Gaius. You go..."

Merlin felt a surge of gratefulness for his friend's understanding, seeing Gaius nod slightly. He couldn't believe that he deserved a family that amazing.

"Besides," Gwaine added to break the awkward silence "That damn bad is too small for the two of us anyways so you better don't show up to sleep there any time soon." Which earned him a playful punch in the arm by Merlin and an amused look by Gaius.

"Oh the size of MY bed won't be a problem. You'll just have to sleep on the floor then, no harm no foul huh?" Merlin answered with a wide grin.

"Get lost" Gwaine yelled jokingly, pulling Gaius out of the stables, both laughing.

Merlin shook his head while he looked after them with a smile.

"Unbelievable..." he muttered before he turned to Arthur.

"Let's get some rest ourselves, shall we? You look like you're about to fall asleep right where you stand and I'm not carrying you" the prince teased and they made their way to his chambers.

xxXxxXxxXxx

"I almost forgot," Arthur said a while later. They were both ready to go to bed now and Merlin was already half asleep, Arthur walked towards him, holding something in his hand.

"What?" Merlin mumbled sleepily as his prince joined him in the large soft bed.

"I kept this for you, I thought you might want it back" Arthur answered, handing Merlin's red neckerchief back to him. Merlin smiled softly as he took it.

"Thank you" he mumbled, tucking it under the pillow snuggling closer to Arthur's warm chest.

The blonde loosely draped his arms around the warlock, holding him close, but not too tight. He sighed in contentment as a deep tiredness settled in on him, not the exhaustion of a haunted man, but the content and peaceful tiredness of a happy one.

"Good to have you back Merlin." He said lowly, closing his eyes.

He felt his lover smile at that.

"Good to be back. I missed this." came the tired reply.

"It hasn't been the same without you" Arthur confessed.

Both of them took a deep breath, contemplating their situation. Merlin was a warlock, Arthur the future king of Camelot, a kingdom where magic was punishable by death. Even if no one would find out about Merlin's magic, Arthur would have to marry someone he could produce an heir with. Merlin on the other hand would have to stay in the background, making sure that he was safe.

All those very distant problems aside, it was still very likely that Merlin's return would come at a high cost they did not know of yet.

Merlin sighed, chasing away the doubts and worried that threatened to overwhelm him by thinking about Arthur's words from a moment ago. He chuckled lowly as he found an innuendo in them.

"I hope so." He said dryly, before sleep finally captured him.

The tired prince shook his head at that, catching up on Merlin's intention. He quickly dismissed all of his insecurities and doubts, settling comfortably into his pillow, completely content with listening to Merlin's steady breathing, as sleep claimed him as well.

And as they were drifting to sleep together, they found that none of the obstacles they were to face mattered. They would find a way to make things work because they always did. They had people they could rely on and even more importantly, they had each other. That was all that counted.

* * *

***~ The End ~***

**Chapter End Notes: It's a wrap... this is it...I'm kind of sad to see **_**Sacrifice**_** end...I will miss it...-.-**

**I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it ;D**

**Please leave a review to let me know what you think :D**

**Thank you for reading :D **

**Love, CrazyIsTheClue**

**BTW There will be a sequel if anyone cares to read it ;D**


End file.
